Thank you for your thoughtful and detailed response. After watching another meltdown last night, your last paragraph is in my mind…so long as she is doing something helpful to her and productive. Luckily, what is her first choice is a very good state school not far from home. She should get in but very competitive. The close to home part is good but the intense academics (again) has me worried, too. However, if she needs to take 5 years, ok, too bc affordable. It’s the back-up school that I need. Saving these thoughts as we plan. Doing a tour this weekend to re-test the waters.