<p>i am the mother of a son. i have brothers. i am the proud daughter of a kind, loving father. i don’t for one minute buy into male bashing nor do i buy the absurd notion that all females have been assaulted. this thread took a weird turn, i agree.</p>
<p>Sexual assault includes rape, but also includes lesser offenses. If someone grabs a woman’s breast in a subway, that is, in many jurisdictions, legally sexual assault. I don’t know why anyone would say that giving the legal definition of sexual assault constitutes dumbing anything down. The law is what it is.</p>
<p>Some here may believe that all women have been victims of rape, attempted rape, or a similar crime. I don’t believe that for a second.</p>
<p>Cardinal Fang,</p>
<p>Do you have any sons?</p>
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<p>How would you know if they did? I suppose most rapists don’t brag about their crimes. As it happens, I know someone who was exposed as a child molestor. The molestation had occurred over a long period of time, and when confronted with his crime the molestor confessed, so there is no doubt of his guilt. I never would have known or suspected.</p>
<p>I have a son. I have no daughters, but I do have beloved nieces.</p>
<p>Okay that is good, however, I just feel a lack of empathy for males from you. You seem to be working under the assumption that males cannot control their primal urges and are essentially predators looking to take advantage of females whenever they can. As a guy, I think you are painting with way too broad a brush and really don’t get one basic fact: 99% of guys would never dream of doing the type of things to women you seem to think we’re capable of.</p>
<p>Parent57, are you sure you’re talking to me and not to some other poster? What have I said that makes you believe I have a lack of empathy for males? When I said there are a lot of men who are subway grabbers and pinchers, I meant “a lot” as an absolute number. That is, most men are not grabbers and pinchers, but so many people ride the subway that even a small percentage of men would constitute a large absolute number. Most men don’t grope women on subways, but enough do that a woman subway rider sooner or later will be groped. Most men are not flashers, but enough men are that sooner or later the majority of women will be flashed-- and yes, being flashed is nasty and unpleasant, because the flasher is involving his victim in his sexual adventures without her consent, getting sexually aroused by her reaction to her unwilling viewing of him.</p>
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<p>I didn’t realize that I was famous.</p>
<p>All I did was what everyone (except for dad<em>of</em>3 and cpt) did. I
misrepresented a position. But it was simply to illustrate what it’s
like to be on the other side of a strawman.</p>
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<p>I grew up in a single-parent minority household with one parent that
worked two jobs to put food on the table and there often wasn’t food
on the table. I worked my way out of that. Is that clueless? Is that
privileged?</p>
<p>Clueless? Hardly. I’ve asked for research from those supporting their
claims. Do we have any citations? In-depth research? No. Just numbers
without sources.</p>
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<p>I clearly state when I don’t have experience in an area and thus look
to research.</p>
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<p>And I’ve said the same thing. Show me the research.</p>
<p>But your position is ridiculous anyways as others have mentioned.</p>
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<p>There’s a kind of militancy here that you don’t see with regular people
here. A kind of cult-mentality. Challenge their statistics and you get
pelted with ad hominems and strawmen. But no logic, reasoning or research.</p>
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<p>How about these people on the subway that do this pinching and grabbing
stuff all the time? If they do it all the time, don’t you think that
they would tell someone about it? We hear about jailhouse snitches and
even see convictions partially based on their testimony.</p>
<p>It may become moot as technology is putting cameras everywhere. Cameras
are certainly on subway platforms today and may make it into subway cars
in the future.</p>
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<p>Perhaps using an estimate of the percentage would be a more accurate
way to communicate what you meant.</p>
<p>There isn’t a subway system in my state. In MA, the subway is only in
the eastern part of the state. The number of people in suburbia that
never use public transportation on a regular basis is a lot (sic).</p>
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<p>I made no misrepresentations, nor any of your favorite strawmen arguments. </p>
<p>I simply stuck with the poins in the OP, that this thread went so far afield? What. ev. ah.</p>
<p>Carry on.</p>
<p>People who live in the burbs might not use public transportation that is true. However all that “peaceful green” is a mirage. The suburbs is where I was living when I was raped.</p>
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<p>You are correct. I should add you to the list too.</p>
<p>If I made a strawman argument, please point it out.</p>
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<p>Is your experience common, universal or uncommon?</p>
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<p>No. It’s a pet-peeve. I just hate that phrase. It’s not personal.</p>
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<p>Her experience is her experience, and I’m sure it was very painful. Probably, when it is your experience, it feels incredibly uncommon. </p>
<p>Most men are not rapists. As I stated earlier, I’ve never even been friends with a man who is a rapist, or had been wrongfully accused, or accused, at all, of rape, as far as I know. Unfortunately, the percentage of men who are rapists do an incredible amount of damage. Very few women would ever falsely accuse a man of rape. Unfortunately, the percentage of women who do this do an incredible amount of damage.</p>
<p>Both groups damage both men and women, and both are reprehensible.</p>
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<p>That’s a pretty balanced view.</p>
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<p>Different context but it reminded me of a Jay Leno staple - the female teacher and the male student. In general, the male student doesn’t complain.</p>
<p>There was an episode of CSI New York this past season, where a serial rapist posed as a high-school student. He was caught along with his accomplice and one of his victims was the daughter of the police inspector. The CSI head found out that the inspector learned of the suspect (who admitted everything) and was concerned that he might do something. A detective asked the CSI head what he would do if someone raped his daughter and he said: “I’d kill him.” So they rushed to where the suspect was being held and heard a gunshot. The inspector had killed the suspect as he had access to the precinct. He surrendered his gun and walked out.</p>
<p>I know how I’d vote if I were on the jury.</p>
<p>One of the first examples of rape in the Bible and how it was dealt with was the example of Reuben and Simeon. Interesting reading if you have the time. I don’t think that the solution would be terribly popular today but it definitely would cut down on rape.</p>
<p>your experience common, universal or uncommon?</p>
<p>Considering that I agree with this definition os sexual assault, my experience is probably very common…
[Sexual</a> Assault << Frequently Asked Questions << womenshealth.gov](<a href=“http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/sexual-assault.cfm]Sexual”>http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/sexual-assault.cfm)</p>
<p>I was raped twice when I was 18 & 20, but I was first sexually assaulted when I was in 5th grade, when walking to school we had to pass by a man in a car exposing himself
I was again sexually assaulted when i was in 8th grade on the grounds of my junior high. I had been waiting for the late activity bus & a group of " popular" boys surrounded me and pulled my pants off. I did tell a school counselor but it was my word against theirs.
Those dont count all the other smaller sexual liberties that are pushed at women.
The man that gives you a ride home & asks for a peck on the cheek but turns it into groping. The friend of a parents son who is a BMOC and so he thinks he can get away with forcing you into oral sex because you are a lowly freshman. The boss that thrusts his groin into you when you bend over & says he was " just teasing"
I didn’t look for trouble, & I didn’t think that these sexual assaults were unusual. They were just part of accepted life as a woman in the 60’s-80’s.</p>
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Is there data to support this? And do you mean “report” when you use the word complain?</p>
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<p>No, and I can’t imagine why you think they would tell people about it. People hide acts they know other people regard as shameful.</p>
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<p>The stories that I’ve seen show that it comes out when the parents find out about it; not the student. This is anecdotal from news reports that I have seen. Then there’s the pure common sense perspective.</p>
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<p>In Boston? On the MBTA? How do you think the guy was caught?</p>
<p>The fact of the matter is that the way date rape occurs makes it nearly impossible to successfully prosecute in a court of law with what is required for evidence. It too often comes down to his word against hers, and regardless of the believability in the way each party tells the tale, it doesn’t work that way in law. Whether there is an actual case where someone is prosecuted successfully and is later found innocent, is really not the issue. The “badger game” situation has been around forever, and it a possibility even if remote. </p>
<p>In my opinion, if someone is date raped, the choice is to either leave it go, or make a huge stink and outcry. By doing the latter, though, yes, you will go through a gauntlet as well, and you probably won’t get a criminal conviction, you are also doing something that is punishing the offender and his family, hurting him as much as you legally can do. Yes, if the accusation is false, in such cases, the accused is punished. That is what both parties get for putting themselves in a situation where this could happen. That is the risk of doing such things. Too bad, so sad for the one who is innocent in these travesties.</p>
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If it’s acceptable to use anecdotal news reports or stories that were seen, and to use “common sense” , why expect other posters to post data to support their comments?</p>