Northerner and I have heard it. But i think that’s from reading lots of Southern literature.
“Go home you’re drunk” - first time I saw that was a post from my college freshman on some other college freshman’s Facebook page…I thought he was running around with a drinking crowd. Apparently, it has nothing to do with drinking.
Now I am wondering if, in a social circle where “bless your heart” is never used as a direct insult, and your grandmother instilled the fear of God in her children with regard to gossiping, and your mother believed her, and most everyone else you ever came in contact with had the same sort of grandmother, whether it is possible to just never have experienced the sarcastic use of it till middle age. But then I was in a sorority, a very southern sorority. So maybe I’m just blocking it all out.
I have to think about that a bit more.
If y’all can think of the books, please let me know. I just can’t. total blank… I am just interested which authors use it.
Re “red-headed stepchild” - I don’t use the phrase, but I recognize it, and didn’t associate it with being southern.
From a google search (take that for what it’s worth), it’s related to Irish immigrants in the 1830s/1840s:
*The origin of the phrase “red haired step child” dates to the 1830’s & 40’s when Irish emigrants began arriving in America. The newly arrived Irish were somewhere below free blacks on the social scale at the time, and lived in segregated communities. Then, like now, young men were having sexual relations with young women before marriage. Sometimes the men were Irish and the girls were not. This resulted in many out of wedlock children with that red Irish hair. When these young women did finally marry, usually to a young man not of Irish descent, the new husband was not particularly patient or sympathetic to the red haired step child and treated them harshly. The phrase is derogatory although many do not know its origin, it is still considered an insult to knowledgeable people of Irish descent, and should be avoided in polite conversation. *
My impression (from having done genealogy) is that in that time frame, the Irish Catholics tended to settle in the larger Northeast cities, whereas the Irish Protestants (Scots-Irish) tended to settle more in the Carolinas / South and then moved inward. But I’m wiling to be corrected if my impression is wrong.
@Pizzagirl I first heard it when I moved to Charleston SC, so I can’t really say, but most of the people that I’ve heard use it were Southern Baptists.
I was googling around to see if there is anything about the earliest ironic use of “bless his heart.” This is not directly on point, but it seems the CONCEPT of an ironic blessing has been around for a long time:
“He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.”
From Proverbs, King James Bible
Of course there is that Red Headed Stranger Willie Nelson song.
“Calm down, Pi Phi” - a bit of snark towards someone who is getting overly excited over something that is ultimately trivial.
In our house, when we ask about one another’s day and the person starts with “Well, I woke up …” we have been known to sing “Woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across my head.” Though I guess that doesn’t really fit under colloquialisms, but lyrics.
Alh - I’m dying to know - where (generally speaking) you grew up and where you are now.
I’ve always heard/used “bless your heart” as an expression of compassion. I avoid the women (men?) who use it in snarky way.
My all-time favorite expression is one I inherited from my father - “not much pumpkin” which means not much to your argument, your proposal, etc. My dad always used it, and others thought he was saying “not much, pumpkin” but he wasn’t. lol.
I think it is a colloquial expression from his rural Tennessee childhood.
What would you all call this? I call it a bureau, though I don’t really hear that term much anymore. My spouse calls it a dresser.
My very Southern born-in-Birmingham, AL grandmother used “Bless his/her heart” in a back handed compliment sort of way until the day she died (in her 90s). And my central Missouri midwest grandmother did as well.
“Oh, that potato salad she brought to the church picnic? Well, bless her heart for tryin…” 
A nice way to say it tasted like crap…
Pizza girl - bureau and dresser are both used regularly in my household to refer to that thing. I think my dad (from Northeadt, and older) prefers bureau and my mom (from the Midwest) uses dresser.
Also, “God love her/him”
This was used to soften a criticism, i.e. “Well, he’s as dumb as a box of rocks, God love him”
We call it a dresser @Pizzagirl . Raised in the Mid Atlantic states.
I sometimes use “bless your heart” but, in a non-snarky way. I do see how it can be said sarcastically & be offending.
Often use “fixin to do” something- although try not to in a more formal setting.
We also use “might can” do something @bookmom7
So I googled and found this list of supposed Midwestern sayings. I’m not buying it. I’ve lived in the midwest since 1978!
- "If I had my druthers" ... I've heard of this and have said it, but never thought it was particularly regional.
- "That makes as much sense as government cheese" ... never heard of.
- "He's schnookered" (=drunk) ... never heard of.
- "Oh, for cute!" or "Oh, for fun!" ... never heard of.
- "Duck Duck Gray Duck" (alternative to Duck Duck Goose) ... never heard of.
- "The Frozen Chosen" - supposedly for upper Midwestern Lutherans / Presbyterians ... but I would use it to refer to Jews in Alaska :-)
- "Slow as molasses in January" ... I've heard of slow as molasses, doesn't seem regional to me
- "Uff da" ... may be a Minnesota thing, but not here
- "For crying out loud" ... I do say this, but never thought it was regional
- "He's got the holler tail" ... huh??
- "Puthergoin-eh" ... huh?
- "Tough tomatoes" ... I guess you can say tough anything if you don't want to say tough (expletive)
- "You betcha" ... let me roll my eyes, this isn't Sarah Palin
- "Dontcha know" (said as a statement) ... never heard of
Apparently the author of the article thinks that Minnesota = the Midwest.
Southerner here. Only heard wide open as in describing (for instance) a toddler as wide open - happy, knows no strangers, no inhibitions. “Bless you heart” can be empathetic or slightly sarcastic. My aunt’s description of a cousin who was not a great businessman “Well he’s good with his hands, bless his heart” so kind of what @syralum is saying. I’ll admit to using it that way, but also as in “Honey, you’ve had a bad day? Bless your heart” (I’m so sorry!).
I do think expressions often don’t convey very well in social media. Tone and facial expression tell you a lot about how it should come across.
I have heard don’tcha know before.