Com APP Inspiration Essay

<p>One cold night when I was seven, I awoke to hear my parents argue. Earlier that day my father's car had been stolen by police officers and upon confrontation he had been brutally beaten. That night he convinced my reluctant mother and decided that enough was enough. He had to achieve his life-long dream: America.</p>

<p>We came to Southern California in August 2001, three weeks before 9/11. Though both my parents had been dentists in Turkey their degrees suddenly became worthless. My mother stayed at home while my father studied to become recertified. In three years our savings ran out .We had lived a comfortable life in Turkey but when the dental board postponed my father's exams, we went on welfare. My father started driving a taxi. My parents had been transformed from respected medical professionals to a taxi driver and housewife living in poverty. </p>

<p>I remember being picked up from school, a classmate sinisterly taunting "Is <strong>that</strong> your dad?" as my father parked his yellow cab. My downcast face turned crimson. I replied "no." Two nights later my father came home from driving his taxi, his face bruised. A passenger in his cab punched him because of his Muslim name. I was ashamed of myself.</p>

<p>I became who I am during those challenging years. I didn't have the advantages my classmates possessed but I had something much more important: drive. My father inspired me to realize that I was the master of my own fate and that hard work and dedication, rather than family name or social prestige, were the only routes to success. I learned from my father every day. Not able to buy me video games, he instead drove me to the library. Taking valuable time off of work, my father read to me a plethora of books, anything from science to history. Reading soon became an obsession and I indulged myself. In class I was caught reading Dr.Zhivago when I was supposed to read Dr.Seuss. I transformed from hardly knowing English to habitually reading Dostoevsky, Vonnegut, and Chekhov. I often stayed up till 2 or 3 AM reading under the covers knowing that my father was out working. </p>

<p>He passed his exams and a few years later my father received his Dental certification in the mail. We had been hurt and shamed but we finally made it. That day my father smiled warmly with tears in his eyes and told me: "It was worth it." He lived and realized the American Dream; however, now it was my turn. I studied long and hard and whenever I felt tired or bored I reminded myself what my father had gone through. Possessed, I took the most rigorous classes and began volunteering hours upon hours tutoring kids much like myself. I made sure I enrolled in the International Baccalaureate program, in Model United Nations, and in all AP classes possible. And though like my parents before me, I stumbled from time to time, I never lost focus and never gave up. I went from hardly speaking English to the top 2% of my class, from a quiet and ashamed immigrant child to winning top awards in Model UN. </p>

<p>I came to possess the same drive that propelled my father to leave his home and create a new life from scratch. I felt compelled to realize my aspirations. My father taught me that we have nothing if not our dreams. I have grown to love knowledge for its own sake and my dream is to keep learning. I live knowing that I am here because of the dreams of my father. I am here because he made it all possible.</p>

<hr>

<p>what do you guys think?</p>

<p>Link your own and i'll read it </p>

<p>This is 611 words, ill have to cut to 500 but let me know how the general feel is...</p>

<p>bumpity bump bum</p>

<p>Its decent, but its cliche and reciting your resume is a big "no no"</p>

<p>Hmm okay, i know its cliche but what can i do its my life. My father really has gone from rich respected doctor to poverty stricken taxi driver to respected doctor and the fact that he didn't give up has indeed inspired me. I feel that i don't have an option to give up, i've always felt that way. I must always realize my dreams, whatever they might be. </p>

<p>Regarding the resume, should i really remove it? I mean, i thought it highlighted the fact that i literally went from not affording a computer and not being able to speak english and being ostracized to excelling. Ive often thought that if i had only been born here i could have done better but that what i have done with what i have been given is extraordinary for its own sake? (At the risk of sounding pretentious) </p>

<p>Thank you for reading! :-)</p>

<p>Colleges look for personality in your essays. The only thing I get when reading your essay is that your dad has overcome a lot and is an inspiration to you. That does not say anything about who you are.</p>

<p>One more thing, its not a smart idea to post your essay on a public forum. It kind of shows that you do not care that much about your work. That is just my two cents.</p>

<p>Hmmmm. I remember reading this exact essay, or some very slight variant of it, here on CC about two months or so ago. Not much improved since, although I like the premise.</p>

<p>wow. i teared up in the beginning. i love your story. i do see a laundry list of accomplishments but i feel like they're warranted. but i do think it'd be better if they're left out</p>

<p>etennis: I never thought of it in that way. I mean, i want feedback and i'm not ashamed of anything. </p>

<p>placido: that was me. </p>

<p>llilliann: Hmm, i think i'll take it out.. what do you think about this</p>

<p>I believe these other guys have it wrong. Although you're not an expert writer, this essay invoked some emotion in me--this is good. However, I have to agree with the others; you shouldn't list so many of your accomplishments. Adcoms will be viewing your transcript and your SATs etc, at the same time they are viewing this essay. They will be able to connect the dots on their own. If you've made it clear that these sequence of events drove you to excel in academics, the adcoms will recognize the corresponding academics and perhaps add a little more weight to them. </p>

<p>I have my own essay that I'm going to submit soon. Do you mind reading it and giving some feedback?</p>

<p>Matze: thank you for the input, i would love to read your essay, send it to me or link me.</p>

<p>This is what i have now: 597 words but i don't think i cant cut it all the way to 500, so be it , i don't think they'll fuss about it.. or will they?</p>

<p>One cold night when I was seven, I awoke to hear my parents argue. Earlier, my father's car had been stolen by police officers and he had been brutally beaten. That night he convinced my reluctant mother and decided that enough was enough. He wanted to live in an environment in which his family could thrive; he wanted to live in America. </p>

<p>We came to Southern California in August 2001, three weeks before 9/11. My parents had both been dentists in Turkey but their degrees suddenly became worthless. My mother stayed at home while my father studied for recertification. In three years our savings ran out. We had lived a comfortable life in Turkey but when the dental board postponed my father's exams, we went on welfare. My father started driving a taxi. In the blink of an eye, my parents transformed from respected medical professionals to a taxi driver and housewife living in poverty. </p>

<p>I remember him picking me up from school, a classmate sinisterly taunting "Is <strong>that</strong> your dad?" as my father parked the yellow cab. My downcast face turned crimson. I muttered "no." Two nights later my father came home with his face bruised. A passenger in his cab had punched him because of his Muslim name. I told my friends it was a tennis accident.</p>

<p>Through shame and struggle I grew my personality. I didn't have the advantages my classmates possessed but I had something else: drive. My father inspired me to realize that I was the master of my own fate and that hard work and dedication, rather than family name or social prestige, were the only routes to success. Working 16 hours a day, he never complained. He made sure that even though we were impoverished my sister and I would have opportunities. Not able to buy me video games, he took time off of work and drove me to the library. He read to me every single day, his eyes always aflame with enthusiasm even as his fretted face drooped. </p>

<p>I was stirred. Reading soon became an obsession. In class I was caught reading Dr.Zhivago when I was supposed to read Dr.Seuss. I transformed from hardly knowing English to habitually reading Dostoevsky, Vonnegut, and Chekhov, books he too had read, long ago. </p>

<p>A few years later my father received his Dental certification in the mail. That day he smiled wide with tears in his softly wrinkled eyes and whispered slowly as he held me close: "It was worth it. You were worth it" He lived and realized the American Dream, inspiring me to do the same. </p>

<p>I studied with tenacity and whenever I grew weary I reminded myself what he had gone through. Though I stumbled from time to time, I never lost focus. His example gave me a standard by which to measure myself. I took charge of my education, like he had with his life. I realized his impact on me and I strove to do the same for others. Volunteering incessantly, I tutored children much like myself to ensure that they never succumbed to the notion of mediocrity, that they never forgot their dreams. It was clich</p>

<p>bumps for freedom/jesus/holidays</p>

<p>bumpson McBumpworthy</p>