I’m not sure you understood my post correctly. The highly successful geek type, like you describe your dh, is not the typical Aspie profile. That is a sterotype. Most Aspies don’t fit that profile and are underemployed. We had absolutely no understanding of gov’t programs and finally had to seek out state assistance through the Dept of Rehab for our son.
My point is really rather simple. Academics without corresponding exectuive functions and coping skills means that employment is incredibly difficult. Yes, my son needed academics. He loved and still loves learning. But if he can’t hold a job,it is moot. I wish we had been more realistic about career objectives for him. He is incredibly intelligent. (Like I said, he has a very high IQ.) But he functions like a child, not an adult. One of his therapists when he was about 14 made the comment to us that allthe schooling in the world wouldn’t matter if he couldn’t hold a job. My response then was indignation. 9 yrs later, it is our reality. He does have a full-time job, but he is severely under-employed. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/27/autism-employment-white-collar-jobs_n_1916611.html
Yes, I wish we had focused way more on exectuvie functions and coping skills. I wish we had thought way outside the box for his future than thinking–high school, college, career-- which is the only path we are familiar with as parents.