out of curiosity,what is the movie?
I have great sympathy for your daughter, btw, I hate having to watch anything I don’t care to. It’s so obtrusive - not like reading.
The Bible deals with tons and tons of violence, rape, prostitution, even essentially prostitution of one’s WIFE! Should Christians not read it? It’s the Bible. It’s the essential text of Western Civilization, culture, and literature. It talked about real life, as it was, with universal themes that are still relevant today.
I can understand deciding not to watch pornography, because of the way women are portrayed in it (and because it’s totally boring). I can understand not wanting to watch violent images, because they’re upsetting. But I can’t understand putting on blinders by saying, “I will never watch an R rated movie, because it contains sex and violence and curse words.” There are so many R rated movies that are fantastic works of art. One limits oneself and one’s full experience of art by refusing to watch any R rated movie.
I’m at the point in life where I wind up fast-forwarding through the love making scenes in videos I’m watching alone, because I’m interested in the plot, not watching people have sex. And I’ll turn off anything that just has gratuitous violence in it - it’s disgusting - but I will watch violent scenes that are relevant to the plot, So, if she’s watching it at home (which is usually how it’s done for college classes, because it’s available on the internet, and it’s a waste of class time to watch a movie in class), she can just fast forward through the sex and violence scenes, if they’re gratuitous and they make her feel uncomfortable. If it’s in class, she can sit in the back row and close or shield her eyes if anything is too upsetting for her.
She is right to be wary of “outing” herself. If she goes up to the prof and says, “May I please do an alternate assignment, because I won’t watch an R-rated movie based upon my religious convictions”, she will be outing herself as the religious fundamentalist with blinders on who can’t understand that art and literature can contain sexuality, physical conflict, and profanity (just as life does).
It’s likely a college professor at a Christian school has his curriculum of films approved by the department head. And if your daughter is uncomfortable, IMO she needs to self advocate and discuss options with her professor. This new s not about “outing” anything. If she cannot deal with the discomfort, she should discuss options with her professor.
As a professor sensitive to violence and gratuitous sex, I am sensitive to others’ concerns. That said, Shakespeare is Shakespeare, and films based on his plays reflect the violence and sexuality of his and/or our time. I don’t understand why your sensitive child would sign up for a film course. Did she think it would be easy?
At this point in the semester, I suggest she take it as a growth experience. College is full of new experiences, not all of them joyful and easy. Even Christian colleges expand minds
I do understand the sensitivity issue, and when my daughter was small, I did pull her from a school event when I thought the movie was too much for her. But she is now nearly grown, almost ready to launch into the adult world alone, and my message now is that she needs to toughen up. She will likely be exposed to R-rated comments, photos, etc from co-workers, on public transportation, walking down the street, at the mall-we live in a coarse and vulgar time, and it is best to find a way to manage your reaction to it. That includes either watching movies she might prefer not to see, or dropping the course, or talking to the professor. She can choose to try to avoid voluntarily exposing herself to such things, but they are a fact of 21st century life. She would likely be exposed to far worse by spending 1 night in an ER, a situation over which you have no control.
I was in grade 7 when Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet came out, in 1968. My class took a field trip to see it at the local United Artists cinema, with a reminder from our teacher to be mature about the love scene.
Memories! The film is still very special to me.
Wondering what film too?
Polanski’s * Macbeth*?
Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet?
I think there are problematic scenes in both, but that is what class discussion is for, imho, if someone is interested in Shakespeare.
For a while in the 90s some very well respected theater companies seemed to have nudity, especially male nudity, in every Shakespeare production we saw, and we were in the fortunate position to see half a dozen or more Shakespeare plays a year. I’m not sure the nudity was necessary, but it seemed to me to be a fashionable, current interpretation, so at least interesting for that reason.
adding:
CTmom2018: I am about your age and remember sitting in the theater and the audience gasping when Romeo appeared. Was he shirtless? I haven’t seen it in decades. The controversy of the nude scene seems different today, thinking about minors and consent.
Her coping mechanism - checking IMDB- is good but I would suggest checking out Commonsense Media - the reviews will indicate violence, consumerism, profanity, sexual content, as well educational value and questions to discuss; she can see for each category whether it is something she can tolerate as specific examples are provided. Obviously there’ll be lots of spoilers but it’s very well done. It is not a Christian site so the information is provided so that parents can judge based on their own value system both for artistic/educational content and for problematic moments.
Not really. Some folks feel this way about everyone - other religions and kids with a horrid past that can trigger things included. It’s common for folks who don’t understand to assume everyone should be able to handle everything.
In high school (where I work) we have to get permission slips signed, but it can be tough for kids to opt out due to peer pressure. The rare time or two it comes up in conversation (it usually doesn’t in math/science classes!) I tell kids to focus on other things if they want to. Most definitely there are plenty who don’t care to watch graphic violence (war or otherwise) or sex.
The kids I really feel for are those who have a past that can make things worse. We’ve had refugees who have lost family members in war and kids with really horrid parents, etc. They (sometimes) get torn between peer pressure and mental trauma. Not all do though. Many seem to have no problem with it (hardening effect?).
Humans are individuals. There is no “one thing for everyone.”
To me, watching something in a class isn’t the same as supporting it via paying admission. There are definitely movies I won’t pay to watch due to not wanting to support that type of film (horror comes to mind). It means nothing in the big picture of their finances, but everything to me and my choices. Any movie we opt to see gets considered individually - and even then - there are times I missed a few scenes (esp violence)!
@5acorns wrote "I agree that Shakespeare can be pretty risque/bawdy/violent, however, films today are much more graphic than Shakespeare ever imagined… "
Shakespeare wouldn’t have needed any imagination at all, he’d only have needed to open his eyes and look out into the audience.
Elizabethan theaters were, for the most part, the courtyards of inns and taverns. They were regard as dens of inquietude, filled with bawds (as distinct from Bards), harlots actively engaging in their trade, drunkards and other disreputable folk.
If we had to rate the written plays, the rating would be at least R.
I understand some may be comfortable reading the 30 shades books but not seeing the films. But the films shouldn’t be a surprise if you know the source text. Reading about the books, made it clear they wouldn’t interest me, and I didn’t read them. But I didn’t then decide to watch the movie.
As a much younger woman I’d have felt compelled to read to see what it was all about. LIke Bret Easton Ellis. I’m beyond that mindset.
I’m not encouraging anyone to read or watch something that makes them uncomfortable. I"m definitely advocating and supporting safe spaces. Shakespeare probably doesn’t belong there for some folks.
@CTmom2018 I saw Zeferelli’s Romeo and Juliet in 7th grade too. Full nudity (but only from the rear). I think we had to get permission from our parents to see it.
That’s a difficult spot to be in, feeling uncomfortable and being non-confrontational. That doesn’t leave too many options. I would hope she would find it within her, if not now, then at the end of the semester to at least write a respectful email about how she felt about this once she has gone through the experience. It may help someone else in the future and sometimes, we do for others what we are unwilling to do for ourselves. Sounds like a nice girl you have there. I wish you the best and saying a prayer it all works out well for her.
I took a group of nine year old boys to the movies to see the Robb Hood movie with Kevin Costner. Let’s just say…it was not R rated but they got a good view of a LOT of skin! I had no idea.
What movie would get approved by a Christian college but would be this offensive. I’m having difficulty understanding this.
This is a college student…she should self advocate…if this is such a horrible issue for her.
I’m just having trouble with how an R rated movie is an issue.
Mathmom: Olivia Hussey is briefly shown bare breasted. She was 15 or 16 during filming.
My position honestly is don’t sign up for a film class if you don’t want to see R rated movies.
I took my then 5 year old to Forest Gump because it was an"American comedy-drama film based on the 1986 novel of the same name by Winston Groom."
My kid said very loudly at the movie theater, “This is NOT funny.”
I left with her because it wasn’t funny.
I usually watch violent movies with one hand over my eyes.
@oldfort: the original novel is not funny, less interesting, and even racist (I think). The film IS a comedy-drama, such as Forrest Gump in college and in the army or on the shrimping boat.
But it really isn’t for 5 year olds, and she was right that it’s not “funny” in that way.
Commonsense Media would have helped 
@tdy123 You totally missed my point~ there is a huge difference between *reading Shakespeare that was written in the 15/1600’s and *seeing present day films… (The content maybe hasn’t changed all that much, but the graphic nature of the portrayal has…more than Shakespeare would ever have imagined was possible in the late 1500’s early 1600’s.)
and @gouf78 there was no indication that this script to screen class would only utilize the modern versions of film, don’t cast the blame on her for signing up…
@MYOS1634 I’m pretty sure she knows about ComonSense Media also, but thanks! (I suspect that’s where she generally finds the synopsis, but in this case the film is missing, and so is the ever so helpful synopsis). I appreciate the suggestion!
@thumper1 If an R rating tends to suggest that the movie contains content that makes a person uncomfortable, and doesn’t have a good reason for that discomfort (ie gratuitous portrayal of content), then yes… it’s an issue. Just because she (and I) are adults doesn’t mean automatically that R is fine.
@parentologist
Nowhere did I say “I will never watch an R rated movie, because it contains sex and violence and curse words.” and she would never say “May I please do an alternate assignment, because I won’t watch an R-rated movie based upon my religious convictions.” Sorry if my rapid responses caused you to think that, I tried to couch most of my phrases with “pretty much, tend to, and vast majority” when talking about my views of R-rated films~ think that should make it clear that we don’t “tend” to be totally dogmatic. 
An R rating is, however, an indication that I **probably will prefer not to watch something…and when further research shows that there are multiple instances of something that tends to make me uncomfortable, I’ll generally nix it… for myself~ my daughter is her own person, but seems to have a similar tolerance level for graphic “anything.”
*sidenote: after a 2-3 year period of not seeing any films due to “life” getting in the way, I discovered in 1999 or so that what was R just three years earlier was pretty much PG13, and what I was seeing made me physically ill~ I’m sure based on the ads I see now that the ratings have slipped even further.
@Meddy Thank you. She is hoping to address it at the end of the semester (the students are generally given a chance to give feedback on the courses and professors), because even if no one else has the same set of sensibilities, it’s only fair for the professor and college to be made aware that there are/may be those who find the film uncomfortable/objectionable from a values POV… particularly because this *is a “Christian” college… one of the things we thought we wouldn’t have to think about as much.
And I’m sorry~ I didn’t want to specify the movie in my first post, and don’t plan to, because the specific movie isn’t the point of my question. I can say it is from the slew of 90’s films that were previously mentioned. Thanks for understanding.
Update:
She went to class (because that’s what she does).
The professor *did acknowledge the film had issues and warned them before turning it on (do wish he had addressed sooner rather than when it was more or less fait accompli).
That being said, she thinks it might not have been as bad as some of the reviews suggested, but she really didn’t watch most of it which suggests to me that it was still not great…
Thanks for the conversation, and for those who had positive suggestions, again, thank you.