I try not to comment one way or another about weight. As other mentioned, it is touchy and so many have complicated relationships with weight.
I have been fortunate to generally not to have to struggle with weight much.
I just generally tell folks how glad I am to see them and if there’s something nice they’re wearing or a color that looks great on them.
It depends on the person. If I know they have been working at weight loss, I will compliment how great an outfit looks, etc. Personally, I like when someone notices that I lost a couple of sizes (besides my husband!)
Recently, friends said “you look so fit!” I liked that. It feels weird to drop a chunk of weight and to think you appear just the same to everyone. But I also understand how personal it is and why folks might not feel it’s right to say anything.
I am very nervous about this. I was never heavy until I had kids. I used to weigh 100 pounds. Whenever I lose weight and people comment on it, I feel ashamed and humiliated that people saw how gross and huge I was and, in the past, it has become the catalyst to overeating and gaining back the weight.
I have now decided to have gastric sleeve surgery. I am terrified that people will comment so I just plan to say that I have developed digestive and other health issues and am losing weight due to that causing me to have to change my diet. I hope that if I step out in front of it that people will not say anything else. I chose digestive issues because those usually gross people out and they don’t inquire any further. When I was thin, people never commented on it and I have never learned how to handle or accept being fat.
When I see someone who has obviously lost weight, I say nothing unless they bring it up.
@techmom99 wishing you successful surgery. Would you be interested in a group that talks about your type of surgery? I wonder if there would be one.
Try to focus on the health this will bring you and not just on the weight. I hope 2019 - if your surgery is then! - is one of improved health and well being!
This is tough, isn’t it? We have a guy in our circle of friends who gained twice his body weight within 5 years. He couldn’t take it off and decided to have surgery last January. He’s lost 100 lbs so far and loves the accolades and “you look great!”.
@abasket -
There are groups, online and in person. I might do an online forum, like this one, but I would never do an in person support group. That’s why Weight Watchers didn’t work for me. My surgery is set for the end of this month - due to an unfortunate injury H sustained while renovating our kitchen, we met our family deductible and out of pocket costs for the year, so my surgery will be absolutely free. I am on my pre-surgery liquid diet now and will be out of work for about 12 days. I was able to combine vacation days with the holidays so I am not even disclosing the surgery at work. I am very much looking forward to a new, healthier lifestyle. H was considering it but he is taking injections instead and has lost some weight. I can’t do the injections because of thyroid issues or I would have tried it myself.
Thanks for the good thoughts.
@conmama - my weight has come on more gradually. I told my doctor that I am fine with a slow but steady loss and I would very happy to take off about 70 lbs from where I am now. My ultimate goal is 110 pounds but I could be satisfied at 70. That’s where I was when I first began to become upset about my weight.
In general I don’t comment on anyones’s weight.
That said, a co worker of mine recently underwent liposuction and she has been very open in talking about it. She let us know that as the swelling went down she would gradually look thinner and she does. I have noted this to her as I know that she is happy to hear that. But this case is an exception.
I lost weight two years ago and have kept it off. I enjoy hearing what seem to me to be compliments and I’m always happy to talk with people whose wistful follow up question is, “how did you do it?” I spent years not being able to shed even a pound in spite of regular and vigorous exercise and healthy eating so I know too well that feeling of despair. (Answer: there’s no magic. It’s really, really slow and requires a lot of patience and retraining of your mind.)
I can understand why some of us don’t appreciate the comments though. One person managed to say something that felt vaguely insulting. She exclaimed, “Wow!! You must have lost 50 pounds!” I lost about half that and I didn’t appreciate the suggestion that I’d been more overweight than I was.
Unless I know that the person is working at weight loss, I don’t say anything. People’s feelings on this subject are too complicated.
@techmom99 - your story sounds so similar to my old friend. Happy New Year!
@techmom99 - good luck with your surgery and speedy recovery.
I believe it is best not to say anything about another person’s weight. I often feel the subtext is ‘the thinner you are, the more I approve of you.’
Interesting perspectives.
It’s a no-win scenario no matter what you do.
Say something, and the person either appreciates it or interprets it as meaning they thought you were a fat cow before.
Don’t say anything, and the person is either happy you didn’t bring attention to it or upset you didn’t notice.
DW has dropped about 35 pounds this year, and when her mother didn’t say anything she got all bent out of shape about it. Her mother was afraid to say anything because she didn’t know how DW would react. They have a complicated relationship. 
I agree @notrichenough. What a complicated relationship we have with weight.
I want to say something from a person who is of “normal weight”. First of all, I have to say that I am not a person to even notice weather a person has either gained or lost weight. My sister lost 35 pounds this year and I didn’t notice (really) until my mom pointed it out. When I looked at pictures, then I saw that she had lost weight since my sons wedding but it’s not a detail I think about.
But, saying that, if I do comment about your weight and the fact that you have lost. It’s not a comment that you were a big huge person before. I’m not making judgement about anything. I am only acknowledging that that person has put a whole lot of time and effort into losing weight. And being healthier. Because no matter how you put it, when you lose weight, except for very small cases, it’s good for your joints, heart and a whole lot of other things. I’m not sure why the effort should be anything but an affirmation of hard work. I wish people wouldn’t read anything negative into it.
Unfortunately, we don’t get to specify how other people will react to what we say, that’s controlled by their own biases, life experience, and mental state.
On the other hand, next time someone says “you’ve lost weight you look great”, glare at them and say “what are you saying, you think I was fat?!” and watch their head explode as they try to figure out how to get out alive. 
And then there is the deafening silence when the weight is found (versus lost).
@techmom99 - my friend did not. I often wonder what her life might have been if she had. But based on her issues and why she used being overweight as a shield I don’t think she would have been successful. ?