<p>Just found out that Jr did not get into his first choice school. It was expected (the GPA hen is returning to roost) but still disappointing. At least I’m old enough for a drink when I get home – he’ll have nothing but computer games to ease his mind.</p>
<p>Sorry WashDad. Any consolation, my son put it behind him the same day…unlike his parents.</p>
<p>WashDad:</p>
<p>I’ve been through this many times. I finally wrote a letter to my children that I keep giving out prior to acceptance dates. I’ve revised it a bit over the years, but the gist is that being accepted or rejected at a given college is, in the lifelong scheme of things, not very important.</p>
<p>Still, it hurts. I know this. Hang in there.</p>
<p>Sorry Washdad. My son didn’t get into his first choice either. Like sax, I think it was harder on us than him over the long run. He is SO happy at his school now, though. He said the other day how GLAD he was that he didn’t get in at the other!</p>
<p>Oh, WashDad, I’m <em>SO</em> sorry. Trust me, I know how much this stings at the time, but Tarhunt is right, in the long term this will fade, and your son will know much success and accomplishment of many kinds! I will cyberly join you for that drink, and my kids will cyberly join your son for those video games! I admire your son for giving it his best shot, and I’m sure he’ll wind up at a college that will make him VERY happy! Meanwhile, my thoughts are with you and your son as you deal with this disappointment.</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Their loss. (Six months from now, it probably wouldn’t be his first choice anyway.)</p>
<p>It is tough…I have learned to NEVER ask a student about the college process, and won;t until they bring it up, or my D tells me about a happy acceptence for one of her friends, or I hear otherwise all is well</p>
<p>My D gets asked all the time, and she is lucky she got into her first choice, but I know how hard it would be if some well meaning person said so, hey, dude, where you going to school while the wound is still tender</p>
<p>When I was out with D and her friends, a couple of whom got waitlisted or rejected, when someone would ask, I jumped right in and said, oh no, we aren’t talking about college stuff today, giving ourselves a break!!! And wink…they usually got that at the moment it was sensitive to discuss</p>
<p>THat said, it will get better, they rebound pretty well…there is the right school for every student and more often then not, the student does end up where they will shine…</p>
<p>Best thing to do is NOT act pitiful toward him, that just makes it worse, they see that as they deserved to not get in…best to just do what you do, make noise, laugh as a family, just let them see that all is okay, life goes one and focus on the other schools</p>
<p>It is so hard to see them feeling so bad…</p>
<p>Im sorry too- want to join me at Sambar for a Mango batida?
I am trying to deal with my daughter registering for her classes for her senior year of high school- I don’t know how that happenend 
</p>
<p>He must go to a pretty tough school with those test scores- compared to many schools around here- I suspect they inflate grades a tad.</p>
<p>So was this ED? it seems late for ED but early for other decisions, does he have others that he should be hearing from soon?
( I think the first we heard- was mid winter break)</p>
<p>I will commiserate with you. It is so very hard for them and the parents. Mine was deferred from his absolute first choice, so he’s still got some sort of chance, but we all know it’s a slim one. So, he’s just tried to let go it that school. I don’t think it’s happened yet, but once he hears good news (hopefully!) from his other schools, I think it will get easier. Has your son heard from other schools yet? That may help ease some of the sting. Good luck with his RD schools!</p>
<p>WashDad. I will bump up Sinner’s Alley just for you. As others have pointed out, the first choice of a 17-18-19 year old is ephemeral. It is so likely that in December of 2007 your son will return from wherever he has matriculated and tell you “I’m so glad I didn’t get into X. Y is the only place for me.” And just remember, Terry Semel, CEO of Yahoo, went to Long Island University. Successful people, no matter how you define success, must have attended almost every single college in the world.</p>
<p>Well, unfortunately, sometimes the only way those boys will take their heads out of the clouds is if they are stung by the GPA monster. I predict this disappointment will turn out to be a blessing.</p>
<p>My favorite story of a boy is the slacker who had C- grades in first semester senior year at his excellent private school. He applied to ten schools and didn’t get into any of them. His Irish father was furious and grabbed the boy by the ear to haul him down to the army recruiting office. On the way, they stopped to have lunch at a diner where they ran into one of the boy’s high school teachers. When he learned of the afternoon’s purpose, the teacher asked the father to wait until the following week so that the teacher might have a chance to call one of the schools.</p>
<p>He managed to get the boy a spot in the school on the promise that the boy would attend a remedial summer program. </p>
<p>The whole experience was completely humiliating for this very bright kid–so much so that he graduated from college with mostly As, went on to a fabulous internship, obtained a spot in a top ten MBA program and finally landed a six figure job at his dream company–all before the age of 26.</p>
<p>Disappointing for everyone, no doubt. Better days are ahead. Really!</p>
<p>Skip the drink and the video games tonight… go out to dinner or see a movie or throw a frisbee around. Maybe pick him up from school and get the heck out of Dodge City today… batting cage? bowling? Express sincere confidence in his abilities and his ultimate great happiness and success at whatever school he ends up attending. Believe it and keep that belief alive for him until he can embrace it himself.</p>
<p>Obviously it was the wrong first choice. Time to thank the college gods for sharing their wisdom.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the kind words. It was Olin College of Engineering, and the very nice “Dear John” letter included the tidbit that they had over 1,000 applications for 75 slots. Statistically, no one is getting in.</p>
<p>Jr is pretty stable, and doesn’t brood. He’ll be fine, I’m sure. </p>
<p>He applied to New Mexico Tech kind of on a whim – the admission fee was reasonable and he didn’t have to write another essay. They accepted Jr (not a surprise, really), and then offered him a very nice merit scholarship deal (big surprise – we are out of state). After the acceptance, he started researching the school and started falling in love. Did you know that NMT is one of the colleges that runs the Very Large Array radio telescope, that they have a research lab in energetic materials (read “explosives” – and they are getting a LOT of “war on terror” research money right now), and that the school owns an 18-hole golf course where greens fees for students are $4.50? Jr found this out and thinks it is very cool. We’re visting it over winter break and get to see the rest of the story, but right now he has an acceptance to a school he likes at the right price. Strange, but true, department. After he was accepted we found out that we know two NMT grads who both loved their experience there. It must be fate…</p>
<p>He’s still waiting to hear on his last batch of preferred schools, but with NMT and Portland (a great visit and an over-50% scholarship) already done he’s actually feeling pretty good.</p>
<p>Any other CCers need a pat on the back?</p>
<p>WashDad, most of us have been where you are. There usually is a thread each fall, where someone asks how everyone’s freshman is doing. Most are thrilled to be where they are, and can’t imagine being anywhere else. I like to think of the lyrics, “love the one you’re with.” It seems to turn out pretty well for almost all kids. By the way, NMT sounds way cool! It makes me think of the movie “Contact.”</p>
<p>I like the it must be fate approach. It works for most things in life.</p>
<p>My son spent 6 weeks over the summer at NMT and really enjoyed it. The very large array blew him away! It was hot in the summer but the outdoor pool helped in that area. He actually went to an “explosives” test site and can still tell you in detail all about it. It made a great impression on him.</p>
<p>WashDad:
My H spent a year teaching at NMT . It’s a wonderful place for an outdoorsy type, lots of nature, mountains, very rugged and very RURAL. Campus is very nice and green( the only place in town to have lawns) . The quality of education is high. The relationship between “town and gown” is not always rosy, but there were plenty of townies on H’s intramural soccer team( a huge thing there) . Socorro is a sleepy little town, people usually drive to Albuquerque to shop and to go out, but Martha’s Black Dog Coffee House had the best Breakfast Burrito I 've ever tasted. 
sorry about Olin and good luck to Jr.</p>
<p>WashDad
Thanks for being brave and sharing bad news. Olin is just so competititive.</p>
<p>NMT sounds HOT–I’ll keep it in mind for my younger sons.</p>
<p>Wow. New Mexico is my favorite place. Really, have you ever been there? You want to talk beautiful???</p>
<p>You go WashSon, all will be well.</p>