Common App essay draft critique, PLEASE?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi! I decided to rewrite my Common App. essay and am now wondering if anyone would be willing to take a look at my current draft? It’s about my fascination with vintage clothing, what it says about me, and how that connects with my desire to work for social welfare/justice.</p>

<p>I’d like to know if I’m going in a wrong direction or if I’m doing too much telling, not showing… I have an application due at midnight and I’M SCARED!</p>

<p>Thanks :)</p>

2

<p>Um I don’t know if I’ve read this one or not but you can send it to me.</p>

3

<p>Thank you. Anyone else? I’m applying to Pitzer and Scripps tonight and am really anxious… Please help me edit!</p>