<p>THis is my longer essay for the common app…its about 600 words and I want to expand it a little more. Any suggestions would help?</p>
<p>I am by no means a long distance runner, but this October my mother and I ran in the Nike Womens Half Marathon with The Leukemia and Lymphoma Societys Team in Training (TNT). TNT is a nonprofit charitable organization that raises money for cancer research. San Luis Obispo High School is the only high school in the country that is able to participate in TNT events. My mother and I were one of nine mother-daughter pairs that collectively raised over $60,000 for TNT. We have lost several family members to cancer so to take an active role in fighting cancer is an accomplishment that has made me proud. </p>
<p>Over the past six months, TNT has taught me more about myself than I would have ever expected. I set physical and financial goals to be a member of our team. The physical goals required that I followed a schedule, which included waking up at 6:00 am each morning to train. As an exhausted senior in high school, this proved to be very challenging. Even though I am in shape from playing varsity volleyball, the training was physically difficult as I built my endurance to complete the 13.1-mile course. </p>
<p>The financial goal was significant in that each mother-daughter team committed to raising $5,000 before the race. I learned how to ask for donations, organize fundraisers, and work with school administrators to get events on campus. I wrote letters asking friends and family for support and contacted local businesses to solicit sponsorships. In addition, I arranged a bake sale, which raised about $750 in one weekend. I approached local bakeries and grocery stores for contributions, and baked many of the products myself. In the end, my mother and I were able to achieve well above $5000 goal. </p>
<p>On the morning of the race, twenty thousand women lined up in Union Square at 5:30am. I was empowered by women of all ages, shapes, and sizes coming together to run and raise money to fight cancer. Even as the starting gun went off, I still had knots in my stomach because I was unsure if I could complete the race. Three hours later my mother and I crossed the finish line together with our hands raised, smiles on our faces, and the feeling of fulfillment knowing that we had achieved our goals in the fight against cancer.</p>
<p>TNT has taught me the mantra, Think globally, act locally. I have seen in the last six months what small contributions can make in the long run. The money my school and I helped to raise is going to fund research grants and other areas to help stop cancer. This half-marathon was a large achievement for me, because I learned that in order to make a difference I must start in my own community. By showing my commitment and dedication, I hopefully inspired others to reach their personal goals. </p>
<p>As a young woman I am often told to follow my dreams or aspirations. Committing to the physical and financial challenges taught me that if I work hard and focus my effort, no goal is out of reach. I also learned the importance recognizing that other people are often necessary to help you achieve your goals. This experience has affected the young woman I am today, and will no doubt impact the woman I become in the future. I know that I can make a difference and motivate people in my community to join in worthwhile causes.</p>