Common App Essay: I'm Boring

College Essays
1

I’m very basic, and I can’t think of any way to parlay that into a Common App essay.

Basically I’m that guy. #WhiteProblems I’m the blond, blue-eyed quarterback and 3-sport athlete in an affluent suburb. I’ve always been the top athlete in my grade growing up. I have a humongous extended family, and many of my cousins live in my town. I’m not loud or quirky. I don’t have any exciting hobbies. I’m active in my Church. I’m very pre-occupied with sports otherwise. I get along very well with my classmates and teammates. I keep out of trouble.

All of this works very well for being the quarterback because the position requires someone who is stable and together. However, it doesn’t seem like it works well for a college essay. I keep reading essays where someone had some sort of issue, a struggle, or is quirk. I expect there are many other sorts of good essays out there, but I’ve not read one that’s resonated with me, where I felt I could have potentially been the author.

I’ve seen sports essays where people talk about the bond with their teammates, but I find those types of sports essays as well as most others quite boring or trite. The sports failure stories I don’t relate to. I can’t think of a sports essay that is exciting, even though it is a big part of who I am.

The only failure I’ve ever felt is that I play on a football team that is no longer good. I’ve gotten individual honors, but I can’t do it alone.

The only thing quirky I can think of is of my medium-sized town, at least 5-10% of it is probably my extended family (and extended family in law, third cousins, and so forth), but I can’t think of how to translate that into an application essay.

Is there a way I can parlay how boring I am?

2

Some of the best essays turn on something small – I’ve read good ones about a goofy game someone made up and plays with friends, another about a kid’s sparring/learning experience with a hard teacher, and one about a kid who described what punctuation mark they would be and why.

3

If you can’t find too much to say about yourself in the present, think about the future. Is there an overarching goal in mind that you’d like to attain?

4

There are multiple prompts.

The essay should show the attributes the colleges want for their community. Typically, that doesn’t include boring.

5

But they don’t have to be sweeping. Remember that the colleges did not write the prompts (the common app people did). Write what you want, and figure out what prompt it goes under. The app readers do get bored, I agree that something different can work well. And you want to make them want you on campus.

6

@intparent @lookingforwar @MandomeLife Thank you for your responses. I’m not worried about the prompts. I’m worried that I don’t ave anything to say.

Just like I’m the boring quarterback now, I’d like to be a boring, stable engineer when I grow up. Church-going, family-loving guy.

Is there a way I can mock how boring I am? Or how all of my cousins live so close to me.

7

First, get away from what you have done. Get away from what you do. Tell us who are you are, in your own eyes. Pikc one trait, one defining characteristic. Write about how that characteristic developed.

Maybe instead of boring, say wholesome or honest. Or that you have integrity.

8

Maybe an approach that would work is that given the current “special snowflake” culture and worship of quirks, you’re actually now the revolutionary bucking today’s trends of living a fast-paced life in the big city and hanging out at free-trade coffee shops by wanting a stable job, a family, a church community, and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence? You might be able to work in some humor around how anti-anti-conventional you are.

9

It’s “show, not just tell.” What examples or anecdotes come to.mind that will show the attributes your targets want to see? What colleges?

This isn’t a writing contest. They want to like you (for their community.) What makes you a nice guy?

Quit reading others’ essays. Imagine writing to us. Your initial voice is good, but you need to tailor this to its purpose- an admit to those colleges, showing what they look for.

The problem with “boring” is it can fall short. Think of a nice tale.

10

If youre a football player, why not write about the first time you ever picked up a football? How did that shape you into the person you are today? It could be a potentially cliche idea, but i think with enough work, you could make it a well written essay.

If the quarterback keeps the team stable, write about a time when your team was depending on YOU to help them win. What happened? How did you deal with the stress of not wanting to let your team down? This kind of essay could really show your personality to the admissions team–they’d see that you have leadership, loyalty to your team, determination, etc.

You could also choose the prompt that asks you what you would change in the world (or something along those lines) have you ever had a serious injury caused by football? Did someone you know suffer a serious injury? You could write about how you want to change the helmets and make them safer, or changing the rules to make it less dangerous, etc.

You talk about your cousins a lot. Maybe you could write about how most of your family lives in the same town? In my high school, we have 20 cousins that all have the same last name in all 4 grades and its a running joke with the teachers to see how many of these cousins theyre gonna get in their classes. Maybe write something like that?

I know its hard to think of topics–im youre average, boring suburban white girl too, but that doesnt mean nothing influential has ever happened to us before. You need to focus on the little things–write about one moment rather than writing your entire life story in 650 words. For me, i sat myself down for an hour and tried to think of all the things that have happened to me that made an impact on my life. I texted my friends and asked them to tell me funny memories of things ive said or done to help add to my list of anecdotes. Now, i have about 10 essay drafts, all different topics. I literally have an entire essay draft about how im short. Literally ANYTHING can be used as an essay topic.

Once you make a list, start writing drafts for everything. Throw away the ones you dont like or think dont work well, and really work on the ones that you like. Then, youll have about 2-3 perfectly written essays, and youll just have to choose which one represents you the most.

Good luck!

11

I like InigoMontoya’s idea about bucking the “special snowflake” culture. I think it sucks that people have to force themselves to be dynamic, interesting people who know exactly where they’re going in life at such a young age, or pretend that they are such people, to get into college. However, even though conventional might be the new unconventional, I don’t think there’s anything inherently good about being painfully normal, other than the fact that most people won’t admit to it.

What’s something that’s very central to who you are? You’ll have to dig deeper than just “I’m an athlete” or “I’m a Christian,” which seem to be two of the larger components of your identity right now. What is something that’s very important to you? Something you want to change, about the world or in yourself? The one word you would use to describe yourself? The one thing colleges need to know to understand you most fully?

Take that concept and think about what experiences surround it. Like, let’s say your core “thing” is that you value the stability of your life and don’t want it to change. That manifests in the fact that football, Christianity, and engineering all require a lot of discipline and the same skills/people/doctrine. You could take so many angles with that. Write a backstory for that. Write about a time when that’s worked against you, or a time that reinforced your abilities to be patient and steadfast. How does your perspective shape the way you see the world and the things about it you want to change?

12

Reading your description of your life brought to my mind the critically lauded TV show “Friday Night Lights”. That show presented the trials and tribulations of high school football in a small tight knit community that I found fascinating, although I have no interest at all in high school football.

You present your life as though you have never had to work for your achievements, never had a setback or difficulty in reaching where you are now. That seems unlikely. You had to work hard to achieve the quarterback position and an essay about some difficulty you had to overcome and how you did it is exactly what the essay readers are looking for. Did you ever have to speak up when you heard someone on the team make a racist joke? Did you ever go through a slump where you doubted your abilities and had to work harder or find a different solution? Did you ever run into someone who had been a star on the HS team before you and whose life since graduation had gone downhill - and it made you think about what your own goals are? Nothing is boring if told In an authentic voice.

13

Great suggestions by everyone so far. I would just like to add that no one, in my opinion, is boring. You just have to tell a story that resonates with people or really demonstrates who you are as a person. It doesn’t have to be a huge life-changing event, it can just be one moment, maybe behind closed doors, or maybe an event with your family, the time that you refused to go along with a trend because it was trendy, the time you helped a teammate out, etc

14

Or you could use a bit of humor and start of like “I am a spiced chai latte. Some people think I am a bit boring and basic because xxx, but if you dig deeper you will find…”

15

Since you seem inclined towards sports or athletics, I think you would do a great job in writing what sports means to you and how it has shaped you over the years. You could write about your future aspirations as a sportsperson and how you will be an asset to college’s football team ( if football is the game you play). As for the boring part, I believe we all are unique and interesting. And we all have a different story to tell.

16

If it fits with your sense of humor, and if you were a good and ambitious writer, you could write about your many truly admirable qualities, which you call boring, by half-mocking them. In other words, you could have a series of fantasies and/or exaggerations about these qualities. But with each you would need to circle back to humility and acceptance of reality.

By way of example, below is an essay that many call the greatest essay ever written. It is well known. So you could never use it. Still, have a look at the self-satire as possible inspiration.

Hope this is helpful.

“I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes.

I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire.

I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But, I have not yet gone to college.”