Common App HELP PLEASE?!?!?!?

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
1

<p>Which do you guys think is better for the short answer “elaborate on extracurricular”?
Any input and critique is much appreciated thank you so much!</p>

<ul>
<li><p>More of an ACCOMPLISHMENT (ASB):<br>
My proudest achievement during my four years in ASB is unifying the arts and ASB. My first month of school, I discovered that most of the student body were not being represented by the Associated Student Body. ASB had a reputation of being the “popular kids” who were voted due to popularity not merit. The other students on campus were excluded and viewed ASB with distrust and distaste. My first year I worked with our advisor to create the Fine Arts Commissioner position and vowed to change student relations with ASB and started with the student group most dear to me: the arts. I started by meeting with each of the groups in the arts department once a week to hear their ideas, questions and concerns. Now, during events such as rallies, band always performs, choir sings the national anthem and theatre students emcee the rally and people are starting to appreciate ASB’s hard work. The arts are just the start of what I hope will become a complete unification of our entire student body.</p></li>
<li><p>More of PASSION/LOVE (Musical Theatre):
Waiting in the wings of the theatre, I smell fresh paint from the sets and feel my heart racing from excitement, not fear. I hear my cue and enter stage left to center stage where I am engulfed in bright light. I can’t see anyone; it’s just me, alone in the spotlight. As soon as I hear the first notes of the pit orchestra, my world disappears and I start to become someone else. Number 4 on the statistics test no longer inhibits my mind and financial aid for college becomes a distant thought. I can choose to be whoever I long to be on stage: a politician, war victim, princess. My worries are their worries, my thoughts their thoughts and my joys their joys. The song reaches its apex, I feel goose bumps surface my entire body and the transformation is complete, I am no longer me. Followed by applause, I am back to reality. Musical theatre is a safe haven where I can get away and display every emotion I have, forget the stress of life for a few minutes and live in complete bliss.</p></li>
</ul>

2

<p>Number two!</p>

3

<p>OR possibly a mixture of the two?</p>

<p>Waiting in the wings of the theatre, I feel my heart racing from excitement, not fear. I hear my cue and enter the stage where I am engulfed in bright light. I can’t see anyone; it’s just me, alone in the spotlight. As soon as I hear the first notes of the pit orchestra, my world disappears and I become someone else. The statistics test no longer inhibits my mind and financial aid for college becomes a distant thought. Musical theatre is a safe haven where I can get away and forget the stress of life and live in complete bliss. The arts benefit many kids at my school including myself. In a school where the popular kids control the Associated Student Body, the arts students have lost their voice. I joined ASB in order to give a voice back to my fellow artists. As Fine Arts Commissioner, I made sure arts students are given a chance to shine through participation in various school events such as rallies. I plan on continuing my efforts of keeping arts alive in the schools in college.</p>