<p>I was wondering if anyone could take a look at my short answer portion for the Common App and tell me what they think.
Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences</p>
<p>Growing up, I didnt understand why my family wasnt American and why we did things differently than my friends families. One of these things was Polish School. Every Saturday morning since kindergarten I was dragged out of bed while all of my American friends got to sleep in. What was actually the weekend seemed like just another school day to me. We learned how to speak, read, and write in Polish, skills that I figured useless at the age that we were learning them. Now, after twelve years of attending Polish School, I am beginning to appreciate my Polish background and my parents decision to enroll me in Polish School. It was there that I formed lifelong friendships and developed my knowledge of the Polish language. Being fluent in a language other than English has helped me in the past, and I know will help me in the future. </p>
<p>Thanks in advance!</p>
<p>I don’t think Polish school would count as an extra curricular…
you should talk about an activity or club experience that you have a passion for</p>
<p>Yes, take care with this “short answer.” The Dartmouth admission reps, in one of their fireside chats, said that this is the part of the application that they turn to first and read most intensively. Since most people just blow it off (they are exhausted after writing their essays), this is where most people fail. As far as your particular answer is concerned, it completely lacks any hook or drama. It merely states the facts of going to Polish school and yes it’s nice to learn another language. It would improve if you stated some incident in which knowledge of Polish made a difference or helped you or someone else, thus justifying the time spent on those Saturdays. You need some incident here to hook the reader (start with that, then back into the the school thing). Hook your reader on the incident, then they’ll read the rest. An long intro about Polish school gets you nowhere here (think, for example of all the kids going to Chinese, Korean, and Japanese schools on Saturday mornings!! Think of all those essays just like yours the adcoms will have to slog through!!)</p>