Common App Transfer essay- Critique wanted!

<p>I'm in the midst of this essay and though I know exactly why I want to leave my current school, I'm having a really tough time making it an engaging paper. If anyone could look it over I would be extremely grateful (I am willing to edit your paper if you want!). I don't mind harshness at all so if you want to tear my essay apart, go ahead.
Sidenote: it's only about 500 words, though I'm having problems coming up with a good conclusion.</p>

<p>message to me and i'll take a look at it.

<p>Hey sure i can take a look too if youd like!:)</p>

<p>Send over ^^ I like making suggestions.</p>

<p>Just sent it to each of you. Thanks so much!</p>

<p>You can send it to me as well. :)</p>

<p>hey! send me I want to look it over. would love it if you can look mine over too!</p>

<p>WOW typos sorry. Send it to* me I want to look it over. Would love it if you can look over mine too!* feeling a bit groggy from writing essays :I</p>

<p>Send it it over and I'll take a look at it.</p>

<p>I sent my uber long reply, lemme know what you think.</p>

<p>hey! i will read your essay! could you look at mine as well?? send it to me!</p>

<p>Anybody want to read my transfer essay? Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Sure, send it over with your email. I type commentary in red which doesn't show up here.</p>