<p>Not in our house either. No TVs in the bedrooms either. When my oldest was about 11, he visited a new friend and came home raving about how cool his friend’s bedroom was. It had a big TV with a Playstation and an Xbox system, a desktop computer (w/ internet access), and a refrigerator and toaster. Oh yes indeedy. In the bedroom. I asked son where the parents were, and he said they stayed in their bedroom the whole time he was there. </p>
<p>Bedrooms should be for sleeping. Do all your other living elsewhere. I’m not even going to mention the temptations of porn for teen boys. That just goes without saying.</p>
<p>Okay, here’s a parent who says it depends. Both our kids have had computers in their bedrooms since they were 13. At first the rules were pretty strict, but they gradually relaxed as they got older. It’s a double edged sword, no doubt it exacerbated my older son’s hermit tendencies, but he also taught himself an incredible amount and he continued to make excellent grades in high school. The things he did on the computer were a mix of very worthwhile (teaching himself Linux, going through MIT opencourse ware) and less worthwhile (keeping up with a large number of web comics, playing games.) My younger son uses the computer differently - more social networking, creating artwork, discovering music. </p>
<p>Neither kid is allowed to play online games that involve the parent’s credit cards like WOW or Halo.</p>
<h1>23 … we pay for basic cell phone usage (emergencies and arranging rides) … the kids do have their cell phones in their rooms but if they call or text much at all it is on their dime so our old phone still gets a lot of use.</h1>
<p>I would say this depends on the alternate location. Our son has a computer in the basement and it’s as private as his bedroom. He also has a desk and area to do his homework in the basement. His bedroom that is pretty messy. He uses his bedroom for changing his clothes and sleeping. When his friends come over it’s much nicer to have them all in the basement where they play the wii and computer games.</p>
<p>I think it’s a bad idea. We had all the computers in one room for years. When S was in the latter part of HS–I can’t recall whether it was jr or sr year–my H moved S’s computer into his room against my wishes. His screen time definitely increased, and we saw far less of him.</p>
<p>We’ve never had more than one little portable tv in the house, so tv in the bedroom was not an issue.</p>
<p>One TV with rabbit-ear antenna and digital converter.</p>
<p>Computer and TV are about eight feet apart in the living room which is also the “home office”.</p>
<p>Sharing is not always fun for him, but Happydad is gradually mastering this basic life skill. Now if I could just get him to watch Star Trek re-runs on Mute so I can think while I type…</p>
<p>We never put TV or desktop in our kids’ rooms. As a matter of fact, we have a converted a bedroom into a study for our two kids. Fung Shui wise it’s does not promote rest and harmony in a bedroom to have too many electronic stuff. But we all now have laptops (small, portable macs), so the girls will bring their laptops to their rooms sometimes. I also have wifi installed in the house, so they have access to internet wherever they are. D2 is going to be in 10th grade next year. I don’t see her abusing it. She does use her laptop to watch movies sometimes in her room.</p>
<p>We were fortunate. Mid-way through our S’s sophomore year, the remodel on our house was completed, which included adding 500 sq ft. Part of this was used to create a nice sized home office. Common areas increased in size but S’s bedroom decreased a bit. Since he decided he wanted the foosball table in there, his desk had to move next door to the home office.</p>
<p>The office has a desktop computer, two laptops and two printers, scanner/fax, etc. This means that sometimes all three of us are working in there at the same time. But S sees us working, knows he should be and it makes it easy for us to subtly monitor his computer use (he knows full well that if I’m standing behind him, I can’t really read his Facebook page.</p>
<p>It has been an eye-opener to read this thread. I had no idea so many teenagers are living in households with such restrictive environments. My D has had complete control of her own laptop since sophomore year of high school. Does she spend a lot of time in her room? Sure. Does she spend a lot of time on Facebook and twitter? Probably, but as much as on Youtube :). Does she play computer games? Occasionally. Text messages? A lot. </p>
<p>But she also has perfect grades in a very demanding curriculum, we spend lots of meaningful time together, and she knows how to discipline herself when it matters. She put herself on a self-imposed moratorium during the couple of weeks before finals/APs. She never turns in assignments late. She does lots of extracurricular activities with great enthusiasm. She has learned how to multi-task. She has never (to my knowledge) been involved with pedophiles or other forms of predators. Has she surfed for porn? I have no idea, but my guess is if she did land on those sites she didn’t spend much time there. To my knowledge she has not uploaded inappropriate content. I trust her and she has given me no reason to doubt her.</p>
<p>So is my daughter unusual? Is everyone else being too controlling? Or am I being too naive?</p>
<p>No, your daughter isn’t unusual. You are setting up guidelines appropriate for your daughter. If she was up all night, and not doing her homework because of abuse of TV or computer, you probably would have a different set of rules. For us, it’s also not as big of an issue with D2 because she would prefer to read than to surf the net. For punishment we take away hers books, not her laptop. D1 is a completely different story. She is tied to her laptop, but she is also 20, so not my problem any more.</p>
<p>Both my kids had computer in their room. My husband and I are in the computer business and we are on the computer ourselves quite often. One computer in our house would not be enough for all of us.</p>
<p>My kids (not really kids anymore, 18 and 20) do not do chat rooms, and will not accept IMs or Facebook friends from people they don’t know. This has never been a problem. We’ve talked about if many times. I’ve check their computers on occasion (although not in a long while becasue they proved to be responsible). </p>
<p>My son is a shy kid. Being able to IM and used Facebook has actually been good for him socially. Like anything else there are reasonable limits to this but there could also be benefits.</p>
<p>Abduction is obviously a nightmare issue, but not the only one; there’s an extortion racket that preys on young people as well. And what they’re after is your financial information. If you aren’t confident that your kid could spend months walking alone down the seediest, seamiest street in the world, chatting with the folks there and revealing a fair amount of personal information, and then walk away without getting taken advantage of in any manner… an Internet-connected computer doesn’t belong in the kid’s bedroom.</p>
<p>The porn issue is especially difficult for young teens, who tend to be interested in porn involving people close to their own age. Two problems with this. One, that particular line of inquiry opens up a world of other, seriously unhealthy stuff, and the kids can get a warped sense of what’s normal in a healthy sexual relationship. And two, when you get that knock on the door, it can be pretty awful for the kid to explain his library of kiddy porn to the local police.</p>
<p>Sorry to be a killjoy. This is part of my world; I’ve known some of those cops and been privy to plenty of stories that would make your hair stand on end. It happens. No reason to raise your odds of it happening to your kid. What’s the gain for that? A few feet of space in the living room?</p>
<p>I would (and did) make space in the living room for my kid’s computer, and teach him online “street smarts” over time. Most kids are more worried about you cruising their “private” social networking sites than they are about total strangers. They happily post a wealth of personally identifying/locating information online without even realizing they’re doing it. Meanwhile, pedophiles, kidnappers, and extortionists are keeping detailed notebooks as they patiently profile their targets over a period of months.</p>
<p>Kids’ innocence in this area is understandable, even refreshing, but it calls for parental monitoring. You’d watch your younger kids at the playground or the mall and help them to recognize trouble and stay out of it. Same thing here, except that many older kids are kind of wired to seek trouble.</p>
<p>An unconnected computer, not as big a deal. But keep in mind that your neighbors might have unprotected wireless hubs, in which case that laptop in the bedroom can be connected even when you’ve switched your network off completely.</p>
<p>This has nothing to do with how many computers you have. We have three desktops and three laptops (daughter has her own plus work one), plus the one that our college age son owns. I think it’s about the likelihood of a student getting sucked into spending more and more time on the computer to the exclusion of interacting with family and friends. It’s easier to not start off with the computer in the bedroom then it is to take it away.</p>
<p>My kids do not and will not have computers or TV’s in the bedroom. I have a Freshman going to college in the fall and a Sophmore in high school in the fall. It takes the Family out of Family. Your kid then spends all of his time in his room on the computer doing homework or socializing and then on the tv playing video games or watching TV. Our computer and TV are in our den. And the kids have all their gaming gear hooked up to it. We have another TV in the living room when we want to watch something else. But I believe it has been hugely important in keeping our family close.</p>
<p>No TV in kids rooms. There was a time when D was very upset about this, but after awhile she stopped asking. S (in middle school) uses a computer in the basement rec room. D used one upstairs until very ecently when she got a laptop for her 18th birthday (which she will take to college).</p>
<p>No TV, vid games, or computers in kids bedrooms in our house. Plenty of all, in common areas around the house. In general, I feel it’s less isolating and promotes us all knowing what each other is “in” to. My family knows ALL about cc!</p>
<p>My D got a laptop just before she left for college. She’s back for the summer 3 weeks so far, and almost always seems to prefer common areas. ( and we have wireless)</p>
<p>Agreeing with Vicariousparent- in fact, our D’s sound a lot alike. My D not only is at the top of her class at a rigorous prep school , but also holds down 2 PT jobs and performs all over the community as well as doing community service, etc. It depends entirely upon the kid, though, or should I say, person? My eldest lost his scholarships to college because he spent all night in the school library, on line, while the younger one (lives with dad), doesn’t do his homework unless it impacts his eligibility for soccer or track. Eldest S, finally got his act together, finished school and works for the " Big" company in Seattle. Maturity is not dependent upon age or gender because the worst offender of all was my “Ex”, who spent hours on end, playing computer games, to the exclusion of me, the children and ultimately, our marriage. D, has had a computer and TV in her room since the age of 12, never gave me a moments worry and will be going off to college well prepared to budget her time and money and handle whatever comes her way.</p>