I’m back with a topic that I’m confident will stick around this time and is a pseudo update to my older posts. As the title implies, I’m concerned about my lack of skills from my overall graduate experience. Feel free to see my prior threads by searching for “skills” in my thread feed in this case for the reasons why.
I’m aware prior threads have mentioned the skills concern before, but it was mostly in relation to dropping out over this. What ended up ultimately convincing me to stick around was after I brought up a comment about working full time while I was ABD and said, “I can see why people [who work full time] don’t finish.” My advisor then exclaimed, “Well, I don’t want that to happen to you.” I then clarified what I meant (which was just that I could see why), but my advisor’s comment felt reassuring for sure. He was also understanding about my recent sleep apnea diagnosis and that I am now getting used to CPAP therapy.
Anyway, I’m meeting with my advisor next week on Wednesday and am posting here to brainstorm a game plan. To summarize the essence of the issue (based on how others have summarized it), either my advisor is overestimating my progress or I’m underestimating my progress. How can I voice my concerns to him? Ideally, I don’t want this to be an extremely sensititive thing for him.
You provide no information that the CC community can use to provide guidance. What is your degree? What is your desired career? Where are you? What is your situation beyond a sleep disorder? Even if you have posted on a tangential subject before you should provide the relevant information in this post. You cannot expect people to take the time to scour CC looking for information you should have provided here.
My apologies for being so blunt, but people shouldn’t have to do a research project to respond to a post. Help us help you.
Reopening with the caveat that the OP keep this thread specific to this one question about talking to their advisor, and not rehash what was previously included in other posts.
OP- Just finish. Seriously- just finish. Don’t perseverate (look it up), don’t procrastinate, don’t use your concerns about “sellable skills” to derail your progress, don’t use this as an excuse to rehash every decision you’ve made since you were 17 including your choice of college, grad program, etc.
You are living inside your own head. All of these concerns are things to be hashing out with your medical team, NOT your advisor. Your advisor wants you to finish. You want to finish. So do what your advisor is telling you to do, in order to get your dissertation completed and done done done. You don’t understand the job market (which is perfectly fine and understandable) so what you consider “lack of sellable skills” isn’t germane right now.
You know how to interpret data- that’s a sellable skill. You know how to organize and conduct research- that’s a sellable skill. You know how to present the research and data to describe a phenomenon or an event or a set of findings- that’s a sellable skill.
Moreover, you are working with a job coach to help you find a job. Presumably that coach isn’t encouraging you to apply for jobs as an airline pilot, neurosurgeon, currency trader, social worker, or hydrologist-- i.e. jobs where you are not qualified or certified to perform.
So stop worrying about this- and put it on the list of things to discuss with your therapist. Just finish your dissertation and tie up the loose ends on your academic career, continue following your medical team’s advice, keep up with your job coach.
You have a ton of posts all with the same doubts and insecurities. Get your degree and, more importantly, get the help you need to allow yourself to move forward with your life in a positive fashion. I don’t think anyone here can say more.
I’d reply to everyone if I could, but I appreciate your detailed reply (as usual). This sounds to me like I should not bring up my concerns to my advisor at all then and just keep my eyes on graduating soon as well as capitalizing on the internship opportunity (I completed my I9s last week).
A PhD program is not job training.
Your sellable skills is your own thoughts and ideas, which a PhD program isn’t going to instill in you if you don’t already have it.
But are you asking us if your advisor is being too sympathetic and overly optimistic about your actual degree progress based on what you have told us? And the department may still stymie your chance to graduate?
OR, are you asking if advisor offers you a way to complete the program should you take it, even if you don’t feel ready?
Dear @mondoz, it’s gotten to the point that I can read the title of a new thread and know right away that it’s yours. I agree with what @blossom said above, and in every other thread.
I don’t think that posting here is very helpful for you, and sometimes I worry that it facilitates rumination (which you should avoid). The best we can do for you here – and is indeed what happens in each of your threads – is to reassure you that everything is okay, and you will be best supported by relying on the professionals in your real life who know you and are there to help you.
Relationships between grad students and their advisors are nuanced and individual, and the details of any particular such relationship are beyond the scope of this forum.
Just put one foot in front of the other and proceed through the last bit of your degree with confidence. You are good and will continue to be good! Onward and upward!
My advisor and other faculty who have advisees want to graduate everyone ASAP before the fiscal hammer drops on everyone. However, anyone who looks at my situation and realizes its objectively bad as far as research progress goes could still stymie me potentially.
Even if there is a way out, I’m worried that taking it without a lot to my name would be worse than if I delayed my graduation to get more experiences and research under my belt while I’m still considered an enrolled student.
My progress was already stifled when I taught full time this past academic year with sleep apnea no less. Not that I had much of a choice since my funding ran out anyway, but it was a full time salary ($56k) with benefits too. My advisor was proud that I got the position but it was too far outside my comfort zone in hindsight (and its not an imposter’s syndrome thing either. My evals, partial hospitalization stint, and more indicate that I had actual barriers to success in a teaching based career.)
I’ll see what I can do now that I have better emotional control thanks to sleep apnea. Although I’m still perseverating, its far less than before fwiw.
Your threads keep getting locked because you have a tendency to keep yourself backed into the same corner, on every thread.
You said it yourself, your program is closing. You have little chance of transferring because of poor interpersonal relationships and lack of academic accomplishments. Unless these things have changed, do you have other options?
At least having the degree will allow you to move on. I have worked with people great in academics and research to know people make the institution great and not the other way around. Being in school provides an shelter that you may not have once you are on your own. But in your case, that shelter is becoming a wall.
Right now, you are holding yourself back and everyone here (IMO) is trying to tell you that.
Do not voice any concerns to him. Stay focused on what it will take to finish your degree.
Your professors are in the psychology field. They surely an see the struggles you have had that have also been apparent here. Its quite likely they want you to finish ASAP so that you don’t go down another digressive rabbit hole. IMO its more likely this issue than concerns about the fiscal year. Please, for your sake, put a rubber band on your wrist and gently snap it when you start ruminating about irrelevant or tangential things . It can help to initially interrupt the digressions. You will need to consciously tell yourself to STOP, and refocus yourself on a positive, goal directed thought.
I’m going to be brutally honest and say that I’ve had extreme trust issues ever since the fallout between me and my first advisor, my Master’s program experience, and my current institution hiding the financial issues its had even before COVID happened (this institution lost 50% of its student base in the past decade).
Even one of my (now graduated) colleagues had trust issues as well. I want to get through this program, but I have no idea how I can reasonably support myself if I don’t go outside my department a bit to gain experience and support myself as I complete the dissertation.
Please… listen. Just finish your dissertation. Try to let go of all the other noise in your head. If your school has, or has had financial issues, finish ASAP and get out. The stuff about supporting yourself outside your dept sounds like self sabotage. If you are close to finishing, and all it takes is finishing your dissertation, FINISH. How long have you been in grad school?
In my defense, my funding ran out this academic year. I needed to find something to support myself as I collected data.
As for the self sabotage piece, I’ve been told that I do that often. However, this is the first time I’ve heard that working to get through the program is self sabotage.
I’ve been in graduate school for 6 academic years at this point. I was able to shave two years off my Ph.D because my Master’s was in the same field and had a near equivalent Master’s curriculum to my Ph.D program.
ETA: I also accepted $11k of fellowship funding and had to do a year’s worth of service in higher education in exchange for that either during my Ph.D or sometime after I graduated with my Ph.D. I’ve done my service and now just have to graduate.