<p>I’m a senior in high school, my brother is in college. He’s been involved with a girl, Jessica for the past year. Jessica is way too much into herself and I know this because Jessica goes to the same school as me. My brother spent a ton of money on her before she broke up with him a few months ago. Jessica wants to date my brother now. I just recently found out Jessica’s mother has been working behind the scenes to get Jessica back with my brother and she has been keeping in touch with my brother all this time. I don’t have a good opinion of this woman because my friends have heard her say really hateful things about other girls and she dresses way too youthful for her age. I think she is really creepy. What should I say to my brother? Am I over-reacting? I don’t know any of my friends who have parents who act this way.</p>
<p>Honestly, unless he asks, don’t say anything. If he wants to date her he won’t take any notice . And you may make an enemy of both of them if you bad mouth her and he ends up with her. </p>
<p>This is also a good rule to follow when people break up. People break up and you tell your friend/relative how much you always hated their other half and what a “fill in the insulting blank” they are. Then they get back together and your friend/relative hates you because you were so nasty about their other half. Happens. Best thing is to listen and sympathize and nod your head and keep the derogatory comments to yourself.</p>
<p>If she’s as bad as you say, he will eventually realize this himself. Unless she or her mother is actually going to harm him in some way, I’d keep my mouth shut.</p>
<p>It’s frustrating for me to sit and do nothing. I’m convinced Jessica’s mother is a lunatic “cougar”. From my experiences and knowing the experiences of my brother and my friends, I know no mother or father that is so involved in their kids relationship. I do think Jessica is selfish and shallow, but her mother’s behavior is what bothers me the most. It just seems so wrong.</p>
<p>Definitely stay out of out unless he asks for advice.</p>
<p>Sounds like Jessica’s problem to me, not yours.</p>
<p>If you attack Jessica or her mother, your brother’s likely response will be to defend them.</p>
<p>Mind your own business: don’t let them get between you and your brother.</p>
<p>■■■■■? …</p>
<p>Doesn’t this situation seem weird to you as parents? My parents are divorced, my dad lives in Michigan and has little contact with us. My mom doesn’t know what to do. I’m trying to get some input from mothers out there. My mom and my friends moms never had this much to do with my boyfriends.</p>
<p>It seems weird, but it’s not up to you (OR your mom) to be the this-mom-is-weird police. The mom isn’t doing anything illegal or abusive, and it’s your brother’s business to deal with his own problems with his girlfriend. If he wants to be walked all over, that’s his prerogative.</p>
<p>Yes it seems weird. Still doesn’t mean you should interfere. Your brother is an adult who can and will make these choices himself. After all if the Mom has been in touch with him the whole time he is already aware of it.</p>
<p>You may well be right…but that won’t help you much. Stay on the high road, never mind how anyone dresses, and let your brother live his own life. If he wants to talk to you about it, by all means tell him what you think-- giving Jessica the benefit of the doubt all the way and allowing for the possibility that you may be wrong. In other words, be sure he can honestly trust you, so you can help, if and when he asks for help, along the way.</p>