Condensed Essay ending? Help?

<p>I wrote on the "event/person that has impacted your life..." prompt. After several revisions I am EXACTLY on the 500 word limit (I started out with close to 2000... yikes!), and I feel my descriptions are pretty vital to the point. However, I fear my ending may be too condensed and might come off as a little preachy. Would anyone please read it and give me your opinion? Thank you so much.</p>

<p>I would be happy to</p>

<p>Oh, thank you! I'm send you a PM right now, is that ok?</p>

<p>Yes, I got it, I'll will read and then pm you right back. I may be a bit critiquy lol sorry!</p>

<p>No problem at all, that's what I want!</p>