<p>My son absolutely struggles with his confidence. He’s 23 years old and quite capable to handle a full time job, but he falters at every interview. He basically talks himself out of achieving success at every turn: no GF, no job. He just doesn’t believe he’ll ever get those things, and yes, so far he’s right.</p>
<p>He has seen therapists/psychiatrists since he was 8 years old and dx’d with anxiety and depression. He also has a college degree with 3.45 gpa, and is attractive (used to be a model when younger). Currently he is grossly under-employed with a p/t job. And while we pay certain things, like insurance and cell phone, we don’t want to make with-holding these amenities b/c he would simply do without and that’s just not safe. The issue: even though he’s an adult, he doesn’t see himself as a adult or deserving success. </p>
<p>Anybody have some pearls of wisdom that I can say to help him grow up? To help him build his confidence?</p>
<p>Limabeans is right IMO. When the boy is tired of failing he’ll start doing things that make him successful. A practical suggestion? Have him take a public speaking course at the local CC.</p>
<p>While at school, he used to tell me he wanted to go to graduate school when he graduated, but I think that was b/c 1) he was so used to being a student and 2) he hoped he’d figure out his future in grad school. Then he said he’d have to pay for it, and that ended the discussion.</p>
<p>His major was Economics, which is really theorical finance. He still likes that, but where are jobs for that? Actually, he’d be great doing corporate finance, and I see him as one of those mid-managers that we used to have here in the US. but those kinda jobs have gone overseas. Now, all the financial jobs are overtaken by super-aggressive, overly confident men and women, which leaves this kid eating dirt.</p>
<p>One of his favorite classes was Financial Markets, b/c it was “the real thing”. But that was really b/c he liked the professor. He also had an English minor and he’s a really terrific writer. Some of his spare time, he’s written a play, and a rap song, but mostly he likes to skateboard. See? another very young sport.</p>
<p>He’s also pretty good with the elderly, but that doesn’t give him much pleasure. And working with special needs/regular kids is not a great match, since he’s not good at anticipating their needs.</p>
<p>Among other things, what he needs is a job coach. A salesman, he is not. And more than anything, to get a job, you have to sell yourself. Thoughts?</p>
<p>It’s a very tough job market out there right now and I’m sure that there are many college graduates going through some degree of self-doubt right now.</p>
<p>The son of a coworker went to UIUC for economics (undergrad) and wound up with a fully-funded grad program (don’t remember if it was TA/RA/outright grant). His GPA was good but not great. There may be grad programs out there with money to defray some or most of the costs of grad school.</p>
<p>Your son sounds like my 21-year old nephew, who grew up in a relatively affluent household (which may or may not be your son’s case) and also seems to lack confidence/motivation. At least your son got through college. My nephew did not, and now works a p/t job making $10 an hour. I like NewHope33’s idea about taking a public speaking class. I was going to suggest him joining Toastmasters, in my original post, but then didn’t. My wife, who is now a college professor but was extremely shy back then, said it helped her confidence immensely.</p>
<p>If he doesn’t want to return to school and pursue, say, a teaching credential, he could probably get a job in retail and become a manager. Even a store such as Target, pays its managers fairly well. If he enjoys fashion, he might like working in a store like Nordstrom. Both companies treat their employees very well.</p>