Confirming what to say to people about Asperger's

<p>OK, I have come to some decisions as to what I will say in the meeting with the people in charge of hiring for tutoring and mentoring for this fall. I will definitely be bringing with me a few copies of the Yahoo! Health article on Asperger's syndrome which explains the symptoms and difficulties that I encounter with Asperger's. Here is the web address:</p>

<p><a href=""&gt;;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>I will explain that I was told by my friend three primary complaints that people had about me: too loud, too aggressive (as in enthusiastic and eager), and staring a little too long at some people. I will mention that the counselor at the university's clinical center have noted that these are symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome, and that it was not entirely my fault that these things happened: I was neurologically impaired. I will mention that I have been working on these problems ever since I was fired from tutoring in the Spring semester, and that I will continue to work on these problems through therapy and counseling through the summer.</p>

<p>I will mention that I was the egg drop judge on Engineering Day, and that went without any incident, proving that I do have some interpersonal skills and that I can do the mentoring and tutoring without incident if I continue with the therapy at the Clinical Center.</p>

<p>Please comment. Thank you.</p>

<p>I'm hoping that someone with more experience than I have will comment on your plan, Bio.</p>

<p>I'm leaving a reply in hopes that it will bump your thread back onto the first page so that more parents will see it.
Good luck to you.</p>

<p>It sounds like a good plan, Bio, but please think also about what I suggested you.</p>

<p>I am not clear on why you are insisting on being a tutor when it seems like there would be other jobs for which you are better suited
As others have pointed out, even neurotypical adults who are teachers, can find it difficult in a one on one tutoring situation.
Tutoring is more about interpersonal skills than being tops in your class.
Frankly- if I needed tutoring, I would be probably needing someone who could work with how I needed to study/process information, and that would be somebody who knew a great deal about how to work with people and help them process information- that probably wouldn't be someone for whom social skills weren't his strong point.
You obviously are very bright and have a lot going for you- BUT exploit your strenghts, not your weaknesses.</p>

<p>There are no undergraduate engineering-related jobs at my college. None. All of the undergraduate jobs that are available are mentoring and tutoring. We have a lot of graduate students here in the engineering department, so the jobs go to them. I am trying to get some engineering-related experience any way I know how. My parents will not allow me to leave my limited home region where there are extremely few to no engineering jobs. I must remain at home--the closest thing in this area that they can have to a residential facility for total retards who have autism like me! That's why I have to start the civil engineering major now, because</p>

<p>1.) I dislike many of the people in ECE.
2.) No jobs for ECE majors in this area.
3.) I have to have a job in this area in order to even do something related to my major. Believe me, if it weren't for my family starting an aquaculture operation in this area, and if it weren't for their connections in the road construction industry, I would work at Wal-Mart or McDonalds upon graduation, for the REST OF MY LIFE!! All of my work, for minimum wage. Sniff. All because I am disabled, because I am different. That shouldn't matter, but it does.</p>

<p>Thank you for your compassion. I need to hear some more words.</p>

<p>Bio, please, please do not refer to yourself as a retard! Have faith in yourself!</p>

<p>ok well I see your dilemma
but first- stop slamming yourself
It isn't a coincidence that you are an engineering major- frankly- many in your field probably are on the spectrum.
Some social skills can be learned and faked-
Look at Bill Gates- He can cope with structured situations where he is in control, but he avoids unstructured settings and a one on one situation where he would be tutoring someone is unstructured but I don't think anyone would disparge his intellect.
It is possible to have clear communication at outset of a tutoring relationship to defuse possible problems.
The counseling staff can help you with that I hope.
I do know one young man in high school who has autism- not aspergers, and he is tutoring other students in math.
I hope your counseling staff will help you to tap into support groups to help transistion after college- because I beleive that you will be able to do well in another area eventually.
<a href=""&gt;;/a>
I really don't know a lot about aspergers so I don't know if these ideas would help you but here goes.
you need more positive reinforcement of behaviors and beliefs- not negative ones.
The world as you know is ready to knock you down given a chance so why do it to your self?
Make a list of things you can do well or feel good about- everyday write a new one and post it where you can read it.
This is really a great book- and may help you
take care
<a href=""&gt;;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>I probably will go with my original plan at the meeting, maybe modify it a little bit. However, I believe it will not be successful. Even though the law is on my side, they will find a way around it so that I cannot participate in mentoring or tutoring. I so desperately want to be someone, that it is my Asperger's obsession, to overcome my life circumstances. They must discriminate in favor of me, like they discriminate in favor of other underrepresented groups. But I do not believe that they will do so. They will discriminate against me, and then I will try to sue them, and then I will be unsuccessful because a judge would discriminate against me, and then I will go into a depression because there is no longer any hope, and then I will go crazy, and then I don't know what will happen. Sniff. I hope my counselor can help me. I want to pray to God. I want to believe in Him. However, He has treated me as a very bad person, and He has always been punishing me. First, He doesn't permit me to graduate high school. Now, He wants to stop me from ever being happy and graduating college. I know this sounds unusual, as I am an atheist because of my life circumstances, but I want to believe in some higher power that will be my saviour.</p>

<p>Keep commenting! Thanks!</p>


<p>Calm down and use your awesome powers of reasoning. Mentoring is not a right. It is a service that the university provides to struggling students and for which it pays other students.</p>

<p>If you are denied the opportunity (not the right) to provide tutoring services, try to think of other things you could do. Ask the administrator to identify jobs you could perform to give you the opportunity to develop some people skills and some expertise. </p>

<p>Are you good at tech? Could you provide tech support? Could you design websites? Or could you be employed as a research assistant or clerical help? Could you work in the library? Could you help a prof grade exams and quizzes? </p>

<p>Do not adopt a confrontational attitude with the administrator but try to get him or her on your side; make it a joint project to identify ways to help YOU by coming up with some suggestions of your own. But also LISTEN.</p>

<p>It's off-topic, but it strikes me that keeping a "gratitude journal" might do you a great deal of good. You have had many opportunities and offers of support that lots of people never get, it seems. Recognizing that could improve your outlook, thereby improving your attitude toward the people around you.</p>

<p>Just a thought.</p>

Not everyone is meant to be a tutor. Two of the three men in my family could never do this because they just don't have the interpersonal skills. My son wouldn't do an on the road drivers training class with a certain teacher because of the teachers poor one-on-one style. The whole purpose of a tutor is for the student to gain knowledge in a comfortable process, not for the tutor to score points for a resume. You are looking at this from the wrong angle. Don't blame everything on a medical condition. Many, many technical minded people make very poor teachers.</p>

<p>EVERYONE has obstacles in their lives. If we focus on what's wrong, then we'll never see what's right.</p>

<p>I agree with the others. Tutoring is something you do in order to help other students understand material better and to teach them strategies for learning, remembering the material, and how to approach assignments so that they can eventually write A or B (grades) level papers or ace a math test. It is not for everyone. If it was, everyone would be a tutor.</p>

There are no undergraduate engineering-related jobs at my college.


<p>Does it have to be engineering related?</p>

<p>Also, where do you live? Is it that you would have to go out of state for an internship/job in engineering or that there is one in your state but not close by? Although I still do not really understand what Asperger's is, there are probably other people who move away and obtain jobs who have Asperger's. Obviously it must be true because the other posters have never suggested that you cannot get a job with your condition.</p>

<p>Please look at this link <a href=""&gt;;/a> This is a site that discusses Coaching Adults with Aspergers. and identifies the strengths/weaknesses of someone who is on the spectrum. Right now your anger at people who won't "accept" your disability is getting in the way of your moving forward. This is from the above web site: The Eight Asperger Advantages<br>
Your ability to focus on one objective over long periods of time without becoming distracted allows you to accomplish large and challenging tasks.</p>

Your ability to find novel connections among multi-disciplinary facts and ideas allows you to create new, coherent, and meaningful insight that others would not have reached without you.
Your willingness to consider unpopular or unusual possibilities generates new options and opportunities and can pave the way for others.
Rather than being swayed by social convention, other's opinions, social pressure or fears, you can hold firm to your own purpose. Your unique ideas can thrive, despite naysayers.
Your ability to remember and process minute details without getting lost or overwhelmed gives you a distinct advantage when solving complex problems.
Your ability to utilize 3-dimentional visioning gives you a unique perspective when designing and creating solutions.
Your ability to recognize and speak the truth that is being "conveniently" ignored by others can be vital to the success of a project or endeavor.
Your ability to make logical and rational decisions and stick to your course of action without being swayed by impulse or emotional reactions allows you to navigate successfully through difficult situations without being pulled off-course.</p>


<p>AS FOR BEING AGAINST THE LAW-I'm sure you are referring to the ADA act. The law requires employers to not discriminate at hiring but does not require people who are unsuccessful at their job to to remain employed. Where do you live (general geographic) Have you looked into the services your university has to offer? If there is a speech/language pathology program or developmental psychology program at your school look into their clinics. This would be a low cost way to obtain the necessary skills for social interactions.</p>

<p>Don't blame Aspergers for all of your troubles use the UNIQUE TRAITS to your advantage.</p>

<p>Good Luck!</p>

<p>Thanks for all of your advice. I live in Southern Illinois, where there aren't that many engineering jobs, especially for ECE majors. I feel that the traits listed above bore some responsibility for my success on my projects, and for allowing me to be #1 engineering GPA in my department, and very highly ranked up there in the entire college. I'm sorry for my other post saying that there was no hope for me. I met with my counselors today, and they said that the stupid Atkins diet that my parents put me on could be responsible for my behavior. It turns out that, according to my biochemistry professor, the brain needs glucose as fuel directly, not adenosine triphosphate energy. The lack of glucose intake from the Atkins diet could be responsible for my mood swings and my behavior on this board. I am sorry for that, and I will probably stop my Atkins diet today and start eating regularly. I hope my parents will listen to my suggestion.</p>

<p>I am taking advantage of all of the services my college has to offer as far as Asperger's support services; however these services are young and need time to be developed. Yes, I would have to go out of state or up to the Chicago area in order to find an engineering job. It is sad, but true, because I have a wonderful family, despite my little sister who I don't want to live with.</p>

<p>I honestly hope the meeting goes well with the associate dean and the coordinator of engineering recruitment and retention. I'm not sure if I will invoke the laws that protect me, but I might have to if they don't hire me, because if I inform them about my disability, how do I know that they are not discriminating against me because I have Asperger's? I hope for the best, but plan for the worst.</p>

<p>Thanks again, and keep leaving your comments!</p>

<p>agree with waiting mom.. although people with asperger's probably shouldn't do some jobs, your diagnosis alone gives you some phenomenal qualities that would apply to some jobs. offhand I would think engineering, accounting, mathematics; areas that are very concrete and detail oriented. anger will get in your way, do not allow that to happen. focus on your goals of not working at walmart for the rest of your life and you will do great.</p>

It turns out that, according to my biochemistry professor, the brain needs glucose as fuel directly, not adenosine triphosphate energy. The lack of glucose intake from the Atkins diet could be responsible for my mood swings and my behavior on this board. I am sorry for that, and I will probably stop my Atkins diet today and start eating regularly. I hope my parents will listen to my suggestion.


<p>Why do you need your parents permission to stop eating a certain food??? And about the tutoring thing again--as someone else stated earlier, it is still a privilege, not a right. Schools probably also do not hire other people for other reasons.</p>