@Midwestmomofboys thanks for your thoughts. I knew/know going into this that an exception is unlikely to be made, but it’s still important for me to try
Give it a try with the head of housing - I think you have enough ammo. Just lay it out like you did for us here.
And if that fails - and I’m a parent - sneak her in.
Indeed–and you’re justified in doing so!
@floridak111 : You have set forth an excellent argument. Consider law school. 
I wanted to say, sneak her in, too. But it sounds like the wrong weekend to test this. I’d expect OP wouldn’t be the first to try it and that RA’s and security would be on the lookout. And if caught, she’s already spoken with Housing, so she can’t claim ignorance.
OP, many non-refundable tickets can be converted to a credit with the airlines. Could she visit another time?
@suzy100 thank you, I think I’m going to write myself up a script or some bullet points so I stay on track
@marvin100 I’m glad you think so too!
@AboutTheSame That is so funny. I’m only a freshman, so nothing is in stone yet, but I am considering law school as a path
@lookingforward I thought about doing that too. I (now) know that housing didn’t intend to send out any kind of notice so I’m not sure what they would have done if I showed up with her that day. Would they really turn her away? I guess we’ll never know. On the ticket front, I booked the ‘basic economy’ on delta which is heavily restricted, and I wouldn’t be able to get anything back. I guess that’s what you get for a cheap(er) flight. I guess I learned my lesson to upgrade next time to a seat with more leniency.
I’ve never heard of a school having such a restrictive policy on guests in general.
When S lived in I House in NYC they had time limits on how long guests could stay w/o paying, but that was more understandable, since one could envision a situation where students from poor countries ended up hosting hordes of family and friends from the home country who wanted a free place to stay in NYC.
But that isn’t helpful to you. If you had not attracted the notice of the authorities, you might have been able to bring her in and no one would have questioned you. (Do you have a roommate?) At this point, it would seem that finding some kind of inexpensive room ASAP is your best option.
A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gal. So with men. If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey which catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the highroad to his reason. Abraham Lincoln (via Dale Carnegie)
I concur to keep strong emotion out of it. Being calm and nice won’t guarantee or even make an exception likely but not doing so will remove all chance. You seem to be reasonable but keep this in mind.
Does your universoty have an omnubudsman? My daughters university does. This person handles just this kind of thing where the university is not properly notifying students of its own rules. The one at my daughters school was very helpful in this regard.
@Consolation haha I hadn’t thought about that. If it were to come down to it, my roommates might be able to sneak her in
@Sportsman88 thanks for the advice, I’ll definitely try to stay as rational as possible
@maya54 I’ve never heard of that position before! Just a quick search on the university website didn’t turn anything up but I will keep looking, thank you
I don’t think the idea was to have your roommate sneak her in. Your guest could still be disvovered and you’d be in the same mess.
I tht the idea was that having a roommate complicates any secrecy.
Btw, you have your own bathroom? Otherwise, your friend is going to be visible (plus coming and going.)
@lookingforward no, of course I was only joking about sneaking her in (although I definitely would if I thought I could get away with it) In the end I think the only way she will be able to stay is if I get an exception
Do you have any friends who live locally?
Have you put the burden of proof on the university? I would flat out say “Show me - in writing for THIS year - where it says I can’t have a guest per the rules.” From a legal standpoint, if it isn’t in the contract you signed, they have no grounds to adhere to the change. However, you also need to make sure there is no language that allows the university to alter its visitation policy as well as any language that states they have a right to evict you at will or in any other way punish you for your actions. The ramifications might be more costly than finding a hotel room.
@jym626 unfortunately no. I’m not from this area, and I’m only a freshman, so all the friends I’ve made also live in the dorms
@tutumom2001 I’m not sure what ramifications you’re referring to. Do you mean I might be punished for questioning the policy?
Whether or not this is in writing, anywhere, OP has little standing to expect them to change what they see as their established policy. OP will try for an exception, but they don’t owe her one. This is the college turf, not the general public. And while OP is looking in standard documents, word may have come from some other sort of announcement.
You may be punished for breaking the policy. You’re now aware of it. And even before the discussions, the old (civil) principle is that “claiming ignorance of the law,” (in this case, policy,) “is no excuse.”
So, you have to adjust. They don’t. I think you understand that. But if you want her to come, you need a Plan B.
^^^^Agree, as I said earlier you need to get a plan in place NOW - a hotel room, air b&B etc.-- or have your friend cancel her trip. The longer you wait the pricier things will get. You should work on the assumption that a large school will not change a longstanding policy for one person regardless of the circumstance.
Any of the accommodations I’ve looked into are going to be far too expensive to justify. So unfortunately I think unless they are willing to make an exception for me, the trip won’t be happening. And as I said there is no way to get a refund for the tickets I bought so it really doesn’t matter at this point if I cancel them or not.
OP, have you tried airbnb? You can rent single rooms in a home.
I’ve tried hotels, airbnb, every airbnb competitor I can find, even local hostels and all of them are either all booked up or far too expensive. The hostel was around $50 a night but all booked up. The cheapest thing I could find on airbnb was still more than $250 a night. Unfortunately it just doesn’t seem to be an option.