Confused and depressed.

Applying to College
1

Hi,

I’m a graduating Senior going up to University this year. Throughout my years in High School, I’d built up a rather impressive and lengthy academic profile: A 34 ACT, 9 completed advanced placement courses (three less than my school offers as an absolute maximum), over a thousand hours of community service with prestigious organizations and positions (served over 200 as the Red Cross of my region’s Chairman of Youth Management), two varsity sports actively being played, a published thesis in an optional political science program, multiple shorter works in transit and a currently unpublished full-length novel finished. I received recommendations from the chairs of my school’s English and History departments, both of whom I have a very close relationship with and did extremely well in their classes; one institution that accepted me commented on the particularly high praise from my English recommendation. The weakest point of my profile was probably my GPA - since I took exclusively AP or high honors courses and my school doesn’t weight GPA, required courses in STEM I had little-to-no interest in dragged my GPA to roughly 3.8 - weighted, it’d be something like a 4.2 or .3, I’d imagine. I applied to about seven schools, not counting safeties.

Earlier this year, I was resoundingly rejected from most of them. The institution I’m attending is still a fantastic school, top-25 academically. But I received flat rejections from Dartmouth, Princeton, Yale, UVA, and Amherst.

I just don’t understand. What did I miss? What did I do wrong? Is it because I wrote my likely major as Journalism/Rhetoric to attempt to indicate a ‘harder’ literary education? Is it because I checked the boxes for White and Lutheran? Did I need more sports? Is it because I have no legacy, and my family is poor? Was my essay terrible, despite the heartfelt, concise philosophizing I tried to incorporate and hours I spent on it with college counselors and English teachers?

Honestly - I’m bitter, angry, and depressed. I’ve seen my friends get into some of these institutions, and that makes it much worse for me; a friend of mine got into Yale, despite having a lower GPA, the bare minimum community service hours, and no sports, awards, or extracurriculars outside of a single year in debate. He’s an second-generation Indian Hindu, and his family is rich. I can’t even talk to him anymore.

I feel snubbed and worthless. And what’s worse, I have no idea what I did wrong. I feel like my family is laughing at me every time a relative says ‘Congratulations on getting into [x]!’. The only thing I can think about is the pile of rejections from better institutions.

I don’t even know what I’m asking with this at this point. I just wanted to be able to say it somewhere.

Thanks.

2

You are going to a top 25 college. Enjoy it and stop beating yourself up.

3

Comparison is the death of joy. Play the cards you’ve been dealt. Sorry for the cliches! This will be in your rearview mirror (hopefully!) a few months from now.

4

While you have some excellent stats, there are many people on CC with even better stats that have gotten rejected also in the past.

5

@confus3d Admissions to top schools are not award ceremonies, they are casting calls with a global pool auditioning. Go to your top 25 school and dance with the one that brought you.

6

Many students with even higher stats get regularly rejected from the same colleges you got denied. I kid you not. Some of them don’t even get into a top 25 colleges. That Indian Hindu friend of yours who got into Yale – no way he got into Yale without some outstanding accomplishment. You should ask him what he thinks got him into Yale and find out.

7

@websensation Or what his major is. There are only so many spots for each major and Journalism is rather common.

8

@websensation

I wish. Maybe that’d make me feel better about getting rejected. There is no outstanding achievement. He’s mediocre academically, with a considerably less rigorous academic courseload than mine and a 3.7-ish GPA (from what I know). He doesn’t play any sports. He resents doing any kind of community service or hard work. I mean, Christ, the guy wasn’t even a National Merit Commended Scholar. He did get the position of treasurer for our student council, because no one else ran, but he’s never held any other leadership position, much less started any initiative.

But you know what he is? Rich. His dad is a major shareholder and on the board of directors for my school, which is private. He’s in the top 10% of the school and did well on standardized testing, as far as I know. But like you said, that shouldn’t be enough to be wearing a Yale jersey. There’s a handful others like him at my school, which is a breeding ground for milquetoast extremely affluent coasters, but it’s only really this process that’s made me see that. And, again, it’s because I’m extremely bitter. I hate that something like college envy killed a friendship of mine, but I honestly can’t stand the fact that the translation of unearned money got someone into Yale. Unless he’s just been hiding his achievements from the world.

But I doubt that. Because when he was one of the first people I showed my original-draft novel to a year back, he thought it was hilarious that I’d put that much effort into something that ‘wouldn’t get me anything’. But he’s also going into the humanities, so I suppose he was right about that.

9

@confus3d, I hear you as my twin DD’s profiled similarly 35 superscored/34 single sitting ACT, multiple,750-800 SAT 2’s, 3.8 UW/4.2 weighted GPA with 6-8 AP’s and everything else honors, strong EC, varsity sports, etc - so a lot like you. They to applied to multiple ivies (but not HYPS since they didn’t want to reach too crazy) and applied to top-5 LAC’s - they were denied or WL from everyone and no WL call backs have occurred. That said they were accepted everywhere else in the #7-15 and #15-25 LAC buckets, so while it stung like heck when the denials rolled in one after another they are ending up at a great place just like you. Oh and yes, there were recruited athletes that got into ivies and the top-5 LAC’s which feels unfair, but that’s not anything they can control.

10

@confus3d - as a fellow HS senior - I understand how it feels to see some of your friends go to colleges you wish you had been admitted to. But please please please - quit comparing and move on. All you are doing by comparing is what you have said in the title - depressing yourself - absolutely no other use.

As you know by now - college admission is not a science by any means. All those “what’s my chance” threads on CC are an absolute waste of everyone’s time - because no one - not even the AO in the college which selected or rejected you - can chance anyone. If the same AO read your application at a different time in a different mood - you would probably have gotten a different result - leave alone a different AO reading it! So, luck plays a big part!

However, that essays do seem to play a very major part - at least in the Ivies. What you achieved is one - how you present it is another. It is like selling the same Honda or Toyota under the Accord / Lexus brands for much higher prices!

You have been accepted into a top 25 school. Be thankful and very happy with that. If you want solace - look at people who have not been accepted anywhere.

Finally, if you are very determined - over achieve in your freshman year and apply again as a transfer.

Good luck.

11

Meanwhile there are the thousands of kids out there who aren’t posting here on CC who had similar experiences. You aren’t alone.

It’s pointless comparing yourself to anyone else. You don’t know what was on their application. You were not in the committee room when decisions were being made. It’s not like you fell short. You are going to a top 25 school, so it’s hard to feel sorry for you, but I get that you feel like you didn’t get the reward you felt you deserved. It’s been over a month though. Time to move on. If you still feel you deserve better, work your bottom off and transfer.

Be glad you aren’t in this guy’s shoes. I do feel for him.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1891200-asian-rejected-from-everywhere-postmortem-p1.html

What I have come to understand is that all over America, there are hard-working kids doing AMAZING things. There simply are not enough spots in the tippy top colleges for all of them. People from my generation never had to work as hard as kids today do, and things are crazier than ever. Sometimes I am surprised when an amazing kid doesn’t get in to Duke, and sometimes I am surprised when an “average” excellent kid gets into a school like Harvard. But honestly, after spending so much time on this site over the last three years, I think most kids on the whole get into the kind of schools they belong at, and I am betting you have as well. Good luck, and make the most of it. Move forward, and stop dwelling on what you can’t change.

12

@confus3d If you are going to be bitter about every person who has an advantage because of wealth/etc., you are going to have a very sad life. Life isn’t fair. Get over it.

13

@confus3d, my DD’s had very different responses; one said “why did I work so hard” and the other said “how dare them, I’ll show them” - she’s the one that has transitioned to a good place more easily. So, go out there and do amazing things at the great school you will attend (never think ordinary as students would trade with you everyday) and never look back! Good luck!

14

You didn’t do anything wrong. The system is so competitive now that it is like shooting arrows blindfolded. Congrats on getting into a top 25 school – remember you can always transfer and those top schools love transfer students who get top grades. Good Luck you are going to be ok!

15

You have little idea why your friend got into Yale. Unless you know specifics about his case, you re just projecting ill-will by imagining his admission was a matter of money. Maybe he wrote a fantastic essay. Maybe he got stellar recs. Maybe some aspect of his personality charmed the admissions people. Who knows. It’s a shame this has sabotaged your friendship but frankly it sounds like it’s more a matter of your resentment than anything your friend did.

Please, for your own sake, get some perspective on yourself. Yes, we can understand the disappointment, which frankly is shared by 90%+ of applicants to the top schools. But don’t let admissions become an indicator of your worth. A bigger measure of character is NOT the admission outcome but how the person responds to it–no matter whether the decision is positive or negative. Make your hope, resilience and determination stronger than your disappointment. That will serve you better in life than admission to Yale…or any other college.

Good luck!

16

You did nothing wrong.

But the US is a huge country and our elite colleges are relatively small. I count 30 schools (LACs and research U’s) as Ivies/equivalents and as a proportion of the population, they offer a fewer percentage of total spots than only 4 of Oxbridge/LSE/Imperial offer to Brits.

Add in as well that holistic admissions means that schools can admit or deny for any reason (whether that makes sense or is fair or not), and you may end up with admissions results that don’t much track your achievements. So don’t think of a college as a reward. Do things because you truly want to and not as means to the end of getting in to certain colleges or to impress them or anyone else.

Then make the most of your opportunities. At a top 25 school, there will be a ton.

17

How about all the AMAZING students from middle class (or upper middle class) who couldn’t afford to go to your private high school? Should they resent you? Should they be bitter that your HS may have prepared you better for college work than their HS did? Life is unfair. People get different opportunities. Money makes things easier. And, BTW, being “Indian Hindu” certainly wasn’t the advantage you seem to want to make it out to be.

18

Oh, my gosh, with the attitude you’re expressing, I’m not really surprised you were rejected by those schools. You have a choice to make. Wallow in your rejections or go out and kick some butt. It really is up to you. It doesn’t matter how other people did. Make your own path and don’t worry about everybody else.

19

To the OP: You are doing pretty well. In our school district of a size of about 150, we have at least 2 kids who have slightly better stats than you and did not get into any of the top 25 this year.

20 
 Even though I'm a middle schooler I can relate to your bitterness somewhat. This year I applied to a web,a program where 8th grader's mentor the incoming 6th graders.Everyone said that Web was easy to get into, that everyone got in.You can see where I'm going with this.I was rejected.Then seeing my friends get in,hurt alot.Definitely when they laughed at me when I told them I was rejected.I felt like a failure, my esteem crushed.A friend of mine got in even though he had no ec's or anything special like that.He didn't talk much at the interactive interview,I talked more then he did.He got in,I didn't.Everyone I asked at school who applied to web got in. It didn't hurt so much knowing I wouldnt become a web leader,I wasn't really into web.I gave short answers to the thoughtful questions but quite long one's for my achievements.I wished I worked harder,I wished I tried more,I wish arrogance never seeped into my application.It hurt seeing everyone get in, making me feel as if im inferior. I emailed my counselor asking why,they told me that other applications stood out more then my did,other's were more qualified. Honestly it was quite the letdown,if i couldn't even get into a non selective program at my public school how am I going to get into the selective prep school's I will be applying to soon?How can I get into the even more selective colleges I want to get to? 

 But after a few day's feeling bitter,I let it go. I'll show my counselors that I should of got in,that thier judging me unqualified was ignorant on thier part.When i show them a copy of my acceptance letter to one of those school's,they'll see who really was qualified.It still sting's when I hear people talk about web,it will sting even more when i hear the same thing about web being easy to get into go around.OP I understand what your going through but light up and remember college is only one aspect of life. You can still be successful.You will be successful.You can think of the many things you could of done better but honestly what's the point? This is your situation,accept what happened and get over it.It will sting for a bit but in 20 year's you'll probably not care about your result's in college acceptances.Get better and remember you are still loved and appreciated.  :)