Congratulating our Super Achievers

Parent Cafe
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<p>Congratulating the Super Achievers </p>

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<p>Just posted this on the Parents Board…then got to thinking maybe it belongs here in the Cafe…don’t really know…I apologize for boring people who might inadvertently read it twice!</p>

<p>Apparently I’m only one of many who are (is?) troubled by Marite’s decision to leave CC for reasons that many of us don’t fully understand. I know something “bad” happened; I don’t know what.</p>

<p>As is common among us, I’m first reviewing my own comments to reassure myself that I haven’t been (unintentionally, I promise!) nasty or condescending or narrow-minded or --pick an adjective. And then I consider what the overall “not so good feel” of a bunch of threads has been over the past few days.</p>

<p>And I’ve had a “profound” realization: We’ve collectively spent so many words talking about how not getting into HYPS (or pick your other set of selectives) isn’t a reflection on the rejected kids, or the guaranteed way to success and happiness, or perhaps the wisest financial decision, that we’ve forgotten to celebrate with the amazing kids who DID get in their reach schools…</p>

<p>I have no idea if this might be a contributing factor to Marite’s decision to depart…but I do know I never told her CONGRATULATIONS on her S’s admission to Harvard…or that I think it’s wonderful and that while it may not reflect badly on kids who do not get it, it sure does reflect wonderfully on kids who do!</p>

<p>So…I pause here for moment to celebrate our HYPS (and other selective) rising college freshmen…way to go, guys & gals! It matters not whether you come from privilege or poverty, luck or persistent planning…you have achieved mightily and you deserve our heartfelt kudos for a job well done!!!</p>

<p>There’s not a one of you who “skated” into one of these superlative schools…you all gave up parties and video games and chats with friends to do your work and learn your lessons and contribute to your communities and enhance your personal growth. You worked, and you worked hard, and we’re remiss for not acknowledging your achievements…CONGRATULATIONS!!! You earned it; you deserve it; our hats are off to you & your families.</p>

<p>Kudos go to all the kids who found their college homes…but let’s not forget that those kudos go every bit as much to the kids who aimed high, reached for their personal stars, and got there! HURRAY for them!!!</p>

<p>Our world will be a better place because of these kids and I’m proud to e-know you and your families…</p>

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<p>Here here! Not only to the HYPS achievers…but ALL of the kids who beat tremendous odds! First generation college students - three cheers for you! Kids from other countries who can barely speak english - three cheers for you. Kids who studied by natural light becaue they were raised in homes without electricity - three cheers for YOU! Kids who have parents who refused to foot the bill and you decided to go anyway…taking out loans and working full time along the way- hip, hip hooray! Kids coming from seriously dysfunctional families where alcoholism, drugs and mental illness rule to roost…three cheers!!</p>

<p>No matter what college you’ve selected for yourselves…you’ve BEATEN the odds…just as the kids at HYPSM & Co. have. It’s not so much about where you wind up, as it is about the path you took to get there! As has been quoted here before, “it’s not about that you’ve achieved, but about the choices you’ve made!”</p>

<p>You are ALL superachievers!!! Only YOU know who you are because only YOU know how hard it was. We can only guess.</p>

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<p>

overanxious mother~
Oh, honey, this could NEVER, EVER, EVER be you. You are one of the kindest souls on this forum and I’m sure, in your real life. You are gifted with empathy, keen insight, and a beautiful intuitive nature. And I am honored to “know” you.</p>

<p>I join you in congratulating the super achievers and the achievers of every kind. They are so deserving. I thank you for starting this most positive of threads! lots of love, ~berurah</p>

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<p>Thanks for starting this thread, to recognize and congratulate the CC students everywhere who have aimed high, from whatever their starting point, and accomplished great things. I read of your strivings and listen to your thoughts, and I meet young people in person, and I just know we’ll be handing our world to some very competent, compassionate, and motivated people in the near future. Thank you all for restoring my faith and hope for the future – I was beginning to lose some of that precious hope.</p>

<p>Now I’d like to take this selfish opportunity to congratulate someone whom I have not trumpeted on this forum much: my older S. He is without doubt one of the most interesting people I have ever met: his interests are broader than I can quote, his depth in many of them is remarkable, he is a hard worker, intuitive thinker, and quick study, able to draw together varying fields of knowledge to gain insight. He’s funny and mature and filled with energy and I am so very proud of the things he has already done to make life better for so many people, while excelling at one of the hardest course loads I can imagine, and putting in well over 2,000 hours of meaningful community service during HS. He will be heading to MIT in the fall to take these abilities even further, and I know this is an amazing reward he has earned.</p>

<p>What fills me with some sadness (and which I have been afraid of talking about on CC, although I have wanted to) is that, despite all this, he has not been recognized by any of the many merit scholarships for which he has applied. He put his all into so many applications, telling the story of his excellent scholarship and his EC project in so many moving ways, gathering supportive letters, and being sure the school provided all appropriate documents by the deadlines. All he has received is polite rejections. One rejection in particular was very, very hard for him to receive. It was an honorary award from my employer of 22 years, for which he surely should have been in the very top level of contenders. No one can fathom why he was not selected, and he was disappointed to say the least.</p>

<p>It’s OK on CC to talk about how disappointed and downright angry and upset we are when our students are not admitted to schools where they surely should have qualified. It’s a mystery we cannot solve, and it hurts. I’m just posting to say it’s also a painful mystery when merit isn’t also somehow recognized in the traditional ways.</p>

<p>My S has the reward of a fantastic and challenging university career awaiting him in the fall, and he is eagerly looking forward to it. And I am not here looking for everyone to remind me how fortunate and wonderful he is, although I will readily agree. :wink: I was just sad that kids like him, who have spent so much of their lives working so hard and accomplishing so much, are not always recognized for their contributions. So, kid, if you ever read this, know that everyone you know is proud of you, and is looking to see what great things you give to the future. We love you.</p>

<p>(PS: In light of recent tensions here on CC, I will be happy to nuke this post if it bothers anyone. I guess I’m just an overly-emotional mom in an empty house tonight, and I spilled guts. Y’all just happened to be around to watch me mop up. Thanks, friends.)</p>

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<p>With all our congratulations to all the kids, no matter where they decided to go, we all know that the crap shoot style of admissions carries with it a lot of heartache. We revel in all our kids’ successes in the process, yet do not discount the pain that many (just about all of us) have endured. So many wonderful candidates did not get the recognition they deserved, for whatever frivolous reason - I myself subscribe to the throw it against the wall, and whichever falls in this spot gets it- theory. We share the joy and the sorrow and the ups and downs. I just hope we can always stay supportive.</p>

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<p>Oh my gosh…you parents are so funny. My parents have no time in the world to even sit down for dinner…and you guys write such long posts and are attached to these cyber communities in such ways… It’s not a bad thing, I just…never knew parents could be like this. I’m always surrounded by insanely busy parents…not just mine, but other students’ parents as well.</p>

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<p>Hey sarorah, some of us just love to talk/write. :slight_smile: And are insanely busy to boot. (And PS, we sit down to dinner pretty much every night of the week, I insist.) Parents come in all flavors, sort of like kids. ;)</p>

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<p>Yeah, I realized that when I came here. It’s pretty cool, and especially funny when they use “internet lingo”.</p>

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<p>Not to drag this out too far, but some of us were part of the precursors of the Internet before it was what it is now. :wink: No reason to stop a good thing after only 20 years or so…</p>

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<p>mootmom - Remember how you were hoping your S would get some rejection from some college any college? He didn’t. So look at the fallow merit scholarship fields as a really really good way for him to get a mild dose of skin toughening.</p>

<p>I will never forget my first failure in the academic world. I swear I remember it more and feel more fond of what I learned there than how I feel about the other successes.</p>

<p>Your boy will be great. The universe (old hippie talking) is giving him what he needs.</p>

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<h1>357 of why the human race is ultimately doomed to failure–I’ll let you sort out the particulars.</h1>

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<p>Mootmom: For whatever it’s worth–I sympathize and empathize w/your story about your S and his merit scholarship apps…in some ways it’s harder to deal with “rejection” when it’s the icing on the cake rather than the cake itself…we’ve had a couple of scholarship apps that we thought were “meant of us” that went elsewhere, too, so I know first-hand what you mean. It’s easy enough to say it’s good for our kids to learn reality and how to deal with both success and “no’s” (it’s definitely not “failure” at this level!)…but it still hurts to see them not get what we really think they deserve…</p>

<p>Anyway, hope you’re feeling better this morning…finding sympathy from us may help you get back to that shining space where you just feel unalloyed delight in your S’s marvelous achievements…congrats to him, and to you…</p>

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<p>“So…I pause here for moment to celebrate our HYPS (and other selective) rising college freshmen…”</p>

<p>LMAO!!!</p>

<p>All hail Prestige and those who seek it!</p>

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<p>Mootmom, your son sounds so dear, and you are a very precious mom. I am impressed by your support of him, your understanding who he truly is, and what he will become. I am glad you shared a little about him with us! These disappointments are so immediate and so compressed and they come just at the time we have to imagine parting with our kids. I think that makes it all the harder. Hang in!</p>

<p>Momof3</p>

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<p>Nothing more now. Night all.</p>

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<p>Mootmom, I totally understand your situation. Good luck to your son at MIT. It is a wonderful institution. I keep telling everyone I know, if I had been in the US 29 years ago, and were to go to college in this country, I would have given absolutely anything to go to MIT. I would have been as driven (I am actually driven and intense in real life) as the kids I see on CC.</p>

<p>Anyway, many wonderful things await him at MIT and afterwards. And remember, postgraduate experience is a lot different than post high school.</p>

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<p>congrats on MIT</p>

<p>I can see why not getting one from your employer of 22 years hurts; did you learn who did receive the award? did need play into situation?</p>

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<p>If I bring a bottle of champagne to this party, will y’all forgive my S for being a recruited athlete? (3.9 GPA, NMS finalist)</p>

<p>What a lovely thread, Overanxious Mother. If anything could draw Marite back to CC, I would think this bouquet might do the trick. I also congratulate her S on his admit to H, and I suspect that in this, as in all cases, the apple hasn’t fallen too far from the tree.</p>

<p>Sarorah – my S’s roll their eyes and plead with us to have a night off from family sit-down dinners! Tell me more about how your parents do it – maybe I could take some advice from them, as my children have had it up to here with parents who are bent on squeezing every possible moment of “family time”.</p>

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<p>Mootmom- Your S sounds truly amazing and it’s obvious that his future is shiny bright! Still, I can understand your disappointment re: any merit awards failing to materialize in spite of his accomplishments and efforts on the apps. If it helps at all, I’d like to offer you some insights I’ve had on the process. I’m not sure if you’re referring to local awards vs. the larger national and corporate awards, so some of this may not apply to your S. First of all, I think that when scholarship committees see someone as talented as your S, a stellar applicant who’s MIT bound, they automatically assume that a multitude of other awards are forthcoming. They may be attempting to “spread the wealth” among other students who may not have as many perceived opportunities, whether right or wrong. I’ve seen locally that so many of the scholarship committees are composed of people who really aren’t all that knowledgeable about college admissions, ECs, and levels of excellence. I began to wonder why many of our local scholarships were being awarded to recipients who, although good students, were far from being outstanding in their respective areas. I came to learn that many of the scholarship committee members were actually swayed and impressed by such credentials as “National Honor Roll”, “Who’s Who”, etc. Most students I know wouldn’t waste their time even listing these worthless “awards” on their apps. Yet, many lay people are easily impressed by these important-sounding titles and awards. I think many are also more impressed by GPA irrespective of course difficulty. My guess is that many local awards decisions are based on ignorance but backed by good intentions. So, we saw some mediocre students winning awards over those who were truly more deserving. I’m sure that there’s an element of behind the scenes politics to the selection process, too.</p>

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<p>I have read with fervor the sagas of Ss and Ds of berurah, andi, et. al. My heart is swollen with pride for many students and supportive parents that I have never met. My daughter and I have readjusted “our” dream for her based on many things we have read on CC. We want her to have a college career that is not overburdened with $$$$ issues. So the dream school of Georgetown is giving way to looking at some real possibilities like—a full ride at BIG STATE U. I love the kid that I have because I believe that she will be happy wherever she goes…and she will likely make those around her feel happy too. I was thinking of changing my sn to luckytobehermom.</p>