When I got married 35+ years ago, we barely knew what registries were, and we didn’t do any of that. On my side of the family, my mother more or less decided what she thought we needed and doled out assignments to her relatives. My father’s relatives gave us cash. My wife’s family gave us art, and artisanal pottery. My wife’s grad school friends got together and collectively bought us a microwave. We used it for 30 years, and could have used it longer, but it no longer fit in our remodeled kitchen. (Of course, we mainly used it as a bread box, as a defroster, and to make popcorn. It didn’t get so much use.) One of her college friends made a quilt our children used. I don’t remember what my friends gave us.
We did pick a fine china pattern, Wedgwood Osborne. Of which we hardly received anything, since neither my mother nor, it turned out, my wife liked it that much. (That was the last time my wife actually deferred to my taste in something.)
If we were doing it over again, I don’t know what we would do. There were only four or five big things we really needed/wanted, and those were really too big for any one giver. (E.g., the microwave, some Calphalon pans, or our stainless steel cutlery.) It was nice that someone did the work to coordinate those gifts for us. Very little of what has been important to us over the years came as wedding presents. Much more came as hand-me-downs.
My children and their spouses had registries various places, but I don’t remember where, and I don’t remember I thought it was very meaningful. Some of it felt a little crass, like cash for specific honeymoon enhancements.
Crate and Barrell, Pottery Barn, and Pier One. All the places I’d love to shop but can’t afford. Oh, what fun it would be to put together that registery!
I really don’t get registering at Target (though I got the humor on the other thread, when someone in MN joked it was obligatory.) I don’t think of a spatula or wicker trash baskets as wedding gifts. Godson had all sorts of cheap things listed, screwdrivers?? A toilet brush?
Nor would I constrain guests to the prices at a high end store or for all expensive items. We’ll see what D1 thinks. Looks like she’ll be engaged in the next week.
Oh, Fun!!
Restoration Hardware, Pottery Barn, maybe Home Depot…
I wonder if there’s a registry for paying someone to teach me to keep plants alive. My mother is a Master Gardener but I have the Black Thumb of Gardening Death. She’s so disappointed in me!
:))
My sister gave us a TV and H’s male buddies bought him a vhs player as all the lady dancers they had known in their youth had retired by the time he had a bachelor party. We got lots of cash and a carving set (we use the carving set to this date). We also got a 12 & 16 qt pot (to make food for my large extended family, an 8 qt pot. They were all on my registry.
We didn’t use a lot of stemware, even the lovely pieces we registered for and the odds and ends we also received.
Some registries never die, so may not be a need to re-register.
A friend got married for the second time. I was living out of state, but when I returned for Christmas about 5 months after her wedding, I wanted to buy her something. I headed to one of the big department stores to see if she was registered and she was - with her first husband! I figured she probably still had the china and may still have wanted any missing items off the registry, but I went with some nice towels instead.
The big stuff we got (china, crystal and sterling silverware) we didn’t register for. My parents gave us our silver, my in-laws our crystal and my Aunts our china.
Most of the stuff I registered for I got as shower gifts. Everyone gave us money as a wedding present.
I still like it, @emilybee ! Actually, we have a bunch of the plates now. Over the years, we have accumulated a lot of fine china, although there are only about a dozen more-or-less complete place settings in the same pattern. (That’s because, on the whole, we don’t value having dessert plates or cups and saucers match our dinner plates at all.) We had, I think, six of the Osborne dinner plates that we received as wedding presents, and my wife saw a good deal on another 8 on ebay (or something), and bought them as an acknowledgment of something I liked.
Re: Target. I think my kids both registered at Target for things like a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer, a food processor, and a blender (and/or infusion wand). That sort of stuff.
When my daughter got married about a year and a half ago, the only registry was on Amazon, and there was no china, silver, or crystal on it. She didn’t grow up with those things – and apparently her husband didn’t either or doesn’t care.
I would probably register on Amazon, too, if I were getting married. It’s the simplest way to do it.
I might do something like Crate and Barrel or William Sonoma, since I’m kind of addicted to kitchen stuff, but to be honest, the wedding presents I love and treasure are the ones that weren’t on any registry.
For example:
A wonderfully funky 1950s coffee set (cups, dessert plates, coffee urn and milk jug) from a friend in architecture school
Crystal bud vase - a different friend in architecture school
A tiny little pottery vase which is perfect for holding flowers from herbs and wild flowers - from a friend of may parents
A Gurgling Cod pitcher from Shreve, Crump and Low - from an aunt
A leather cover tray from Guatamala - from dh’s thesis advisor (though I’m pretty sure his wife got it)
The tray eventually died from oversuse, but I still use all the other stuff. And I think about the people who gave them to me.
I registered at Home Depot (for H) and Fortunoff’s for me.
If I were doing it now, based on what I needed then, we’d still do HD, but I guess we’d also do Macy’s since Fortunoff doesn’t exist any longer in its former incarnation. I like Macy’s because with the sales and the discounts, you can buy something way above your pay grade but pay what you can afford. Last year, I bought a $300 kitchen item for a friend’s D, who I hadn’t seen since she was in about K, and spent $175. I used the difference to buy a new dress since the wedding was black tie.
I’d love to do a honeymoon registry, but H refuses to go anywhere, so we didn’t honeymoon. I went back to work 2 days after the wedding.
Not with a particular store. My daughter registered with myregistry.com – I can’t imagine doing anything else these days. I assume there are similar, competing sites – but the point is a centralized registry that can feature products from multiple online stores, and allows visitors to show an item as purchased whether or not they buy it via the site link.
I mean – why dictate where one’s friends are supposed to shop? (Or how much they re supposed to spend – I found the exact item my daughter listed at a different store which offered coupon savings that saved me 20% — I’m sure I’m not the only one who likes to compare prices before they buy).
looking forward, congrats to your D and your family should your D accept his proposal ( or he hers).
What would I put on my registry? No idea! Everything I can think that I would really want seems tacky to ask for. But maybe gift certificates to great restaurants and nearby hotels. $ to travel–miles on an airline? Back then, ski equipment, hiking gear.
Guess now it would be fine knives and pans.
