Is there any chance he could work part time…and maybe take only two classes or something like that?
Or work full time, and take one class?
To respond to a few comments:
I like the part time option as far as meeting him where he is at but there is a possibility that if he earns no credits between high school graduation and matriculating at another college he can enter as a freshman and receive freshman scholarships. I’m waiting to hear back about this scenario although preliminary answers were hopeful.
I would not be at all surprised if he has ADHD but he will not go along with seeing any type of professional to get tested.
There is an official way to withdraw. He will do it the right way if he proceeds with this plan.
I’m not worried about the money. It’s a state college and while not inexpensive the cost isn’t anywhere near a private college.
All of you’all are so supportive. I greatly appreciate your kind words and suggestions.
I agree with the advice to withdraw now. There’s definitely an advantage to having no college record vs having a single bad semester. With no record, if he ever decides to re-apply to college then he’s essentially applying as a freshman. With any record at all, even that one bad semester, he’s now a transfer student instead with all the restrictions and limitations which that involves.
…out of time to edit sorry.
40+ years ago I went to college and didn’t do well (probably many reasons - immaturity, no real focus or goal for
being there, etc.) Not unusual. I left shortly before my finals second semester. Didn’t officially withdraw (didn’t know to do that!) which was a mistake. Worked for several years at menial jobs until I really wanted to go to college. Enrolled in the evening division (open admissions) at our local state university. Did well. Applied to better state university. Graduated with high GPA. Went to law school. Got a PhD. Have been a lawyer, a professor, and a university administrator.
My advice: let him withdraw. Do consult the Dean of Students Office for procedures and advice. He should work until (if) he decides to go back to school. He may never go back (I have a 23 year-old nephew who dropped out after his 1st semester who is now working in software making more money than I do and is happier than I’ve ever seen him.) .He’ll figure things out in time. Be supportive. Don’t blame yourself. We have a myth in this country that every kid should go to college at 18. Some should wait. Some should never go. Good luck!
For future transfer or grad school purposes, Ws on a transcript are preferable to Cs and Ds.
You’all are giving excellent advice. Thank you. Looking back, a gap year or even two would have been good. But it looks like he can apply as a freshman in the future if he withdraws soon, so I keep telling myself it’s just a blip. He actually seems somewhat excited about allowing himself to major in a liberal arts subject at a much smaller college. I think he still needs some time and growth to develop the discipline to study for subjects he is not as excited about so I’m not pushing for next fall at all. But it would be easier for him to do so if he just had one of those courses a semester instead of three.
There are so many ways to do college, believe me. Degree completion, adult learner, low residency, continuing ed: programs that allow one or two courses, programs that require attendance for a week each semester, online programs, etc. etc. College can work out fine in many ways.
That said, it sounds like he would do better in a smaller school (check out Colleges that Change Lives). And doing something more in the humanities. It is so sad that so many young people see college as vocational. He can major in anything and still get a job, which doesn’t have to necessarily even be tied to a major.
For a kid with ADHD, working can really be organzing, so to speak. My kid does so much better working part-time and doing school part-time. I know he isn’t diagnosed and he may not have ADHD, but some kids love working and it helps them keep school in perspective.
Community colleges are a great option to for a career-minded student. There are associate’s degrees and certificates that can get him to work fairly quickly.
Finally, interning or volunteering (along with a job needed for money) can point in new directions.
He sounds like a great kid who was honest with you. He also sounds burned out in terms of school. I have a feeling, though, with his openness and relationship with you, that he is going to do fine.
There are more job options with an English degree than with a Biology degree. Just sayin’ 
Bit if he’s worried about employability he can look into creative non fiction or global commerce at Denison, or international management (which combines international relations, foreign language, and management) at Dickinson.
Check that he can explain to you the regulations for withdrawing (= he knows exactly what to do) and make sure there are no financial pernalties, then follow rules to a t.
OP,
My son withdrew from an Ivy after 10 weeks in his freshman year. He got three W’s. He could have gone back since he took a medical leave of absence, but it was not at all the right fit.
He has 3 other W’s from his community college, as he’s struggled to get back on track. He’s finally moving forward and applying as a transfer student. We’ve talked to many colleges, and most don’t care about the W’s; it’s really all about the GPA. He’s already been admitted to three schools, with more applications to be submitted.
Given that your son is only in his freshman year (my son had a number of community college credits during high school, so he had to reapply as a transfer student), he could withdraw and restart as a freshman somewhere else after reapplying.
Hugs to you!
I really focused in on this. There are many majors that lead to a defined career path - engineering/CS, medicine, accounting, etc. But many LA disciplines aren’t as neatly defined - they lead to many jobs that students aren’t even aware exist yet because they haven’t been in the working world. Or they believe there isn’t money in a job found with a liberal arts degree. All this uncertainty makes them stressed and feeling like they aren’t on a clear path, at least in comparison to some of their peers. And when others seem to know exactly what they are doing, it can overwhelm them more. It’s a common issue and often at the root of the sophomore slump as well.
A friend’s son for example, majored in Philosophy and German with no idea what he was going to do with it, but he liked it, so he stayed with it. He got a lot of eye rolls when telling others about those majors. Who would have thought this kid would find a job at one of the Who’s Who in tech? But this is exactly where he ended up, and is climbing the ranks there. It takes a lot more than programmers to run a company. Just one of an endless number of examples out there. It sounds like both OP and son know he just needs time and maturity to garner the confidence to pursue something he enjoys/has a knack for, while also realizing he will get himself somewhere with it.
I wouldn’t let him ruin his college record by staying so it seems withdrawing is the right thing to do, think of it as a gap period till he is ready to give it another go there or somewhere else. There’s lots of ways to finish college, it is not a one size fits all. He might try the career center and take one of those surveys that indicates things he is good at. A little exploring and he may find himself excited about school! Hugs and best to your fam!
PS. My son couldn’t settle on a major when he applied as a freshman. He literally applied to about a dozen different majors. At the Ivy, he switched intended majors within 2 weeks. LOL! He came in as a Fine Arts major, tried a couple of fine arts classes and hated them, and then ended up taking several Cinema classes.
After saying he would never be a music major, that’s exactly what’s he’s going to do: be a cello performance major. Why? Because it’s the one thing he’s done his whole life starting when he was 5, and the one thing he’s consistently good at. His plan is to get a BM degree and eventually teach. We’re going to support him in every way possible if he can actually move forward.
I hope your son finds his path in life, even if he has to take a circuitous route like my son did (and I did; I went to three colleges for three different majors and took seven years to graduate!).
I spoke with my son this afternoon. He said something to the effect that the United States is a rich country with lots of opportunities, and that as long as he works hard he will be able to make a living. This is a big step forward in his thinking.
I also remembered some difficult situations he worked through as a high school student and reminded him of that. He was in some academic contests in the liberal arts realm where the competition and judging wasn’t always fair. He persisted and did his best with grace and an excellent attitude. More and more it seems obvious that he can do a lot in that arena, and although capable he isn’t motivated to persist in an area he doesn’t like. Fair enough, most of us aren’t.
You all are the best. Thank you for your help as he and I work through this.
@AstroApple I went in as a wanna be physics major, changed major 4 times and graduated as an English Lit Major. I had 99.9% in SAT but did terrible in college except for English Lit classes because I couldn’t sit still more than 30 minutes at a time and never wrote an essay longer than 2 pages in HS. Sometimes, it’s about getting through. Your son shows maturity beyond his years.
I have a friend whose son struggled his first year (poor grades) and the parents said no to a second year until he figured out what he wanted to do. The son was relieved.
My friend was able to find and hire a Life Coach that specialized in teens and young adults. She said it’s been the best thing for her son. The LC hooked them up with some testing (screening for learning disabilities), and helped her son realize he has a LOT of options for his future.
Of course, as these things usually go, her son could open up to the LC in a way he just cannot with his parents.
It has worked well for them.
We paid for an out of network therapist for one of our kids for a year. It choked our budget, but we felt like it was something very important we parents could do for our D at that time in her life.
Best of luck to your family. You are so lucky he is talking to you!