I’m really unhappy at my large city school, mostly because I really hate the school culture, how anonymous everything feels, and that it is very fast paced. It’s taken a huge toll on my mental health and made me lonely and depressed in a way I’ve never felt, but I’m going into junior year and terrified of transferring so late. Has anyone had a similar experience and had it work out well? I feel dread at the thought of staying here but I’m so nervous to not make friends if I transfer and have also given up being at a great school.
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Your top priority needs to be your mental health. And it doesn’t matter if it is a great school for some people, when it isn’t a great school for you.
Transferring after two years is not abnormal.
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- Have you spoken to a mental health counselor?
- Every school has people transfer and Junior year is a common time. But are you ready to transfer or do you need a semester or year off?
- Yes, many deadlines have passed but many have not passed so if you want to go to another, you can.
Like everyone, some credits may not transfer, costs may be higher, etc.
I get nerves - and no one can guarantee making friends - often, that is on the student, their personality.
What great school would you be giving up? It’s clearly not the school you are at now. Being miserable doesn’t sound great to me, no matter how great a name it might be.
Good luck.
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Exactly.
One issue is: Where would you transfer to?
At one point I did know some students who transferred to a lower-stress Montessori or Waldorf high school. In most cases they did very well. Many of them went on to very good colleges and universities, perhaps with a slight bias towards smaller schools such as liberal arts colleges. Past that I have only heard from a very small number of them, but the small number that I have heard from are doing very well (at this point either in a good career, or in a very good graduate program that is a good fit for them).
And at least some of these lower stress schools are used to having students transfer in part way through (being stressed out at a large competitive high school is a motivation to transfer that has happened to other students).
And you should be talking to some form of mental health counselor.
The other thing that I wonder about is whether there is some way to make your current school less stressful. Course selection and after school activities might be chosen with this in mind. Just because some other student for example brags about taking a heavy load of honors or AP classes does not mean that you need to do the same thing. There are for example plenty of very good universities and colleges that regularly take many students who never had an AP class in their life.
Again however a counselor might be able to help to guide you through whatever options are available to you.
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My impression is that OP is a college student in his/her sophomore year. Is this correct ? Or is OP in high school ?
The post is non-specific enough that the OP could be in either high school or college.
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If you are in college…is it possible for you to take a leave of absence for a year from your current college? During that year, get some counseling to help you with your depression and mental health issues. This has to be the most important thing for you right now.
Get a job of some sort hopefully that you will enjoy. Perhaps take up a hobby of some sort. Join a gym.
Try to get to the reasons this school is making you so unhappy. If you don’t understand that, how would you choose another college with the expectation things will be different?
If a leave of absence is allowed, some colleges will allow you to take one class per semester…is there a place near your home where you can do that, if allowed.
College will be there in the future. This is a journey, not a race.
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