Convince parents to let me go to Cornell

<p>Ok so the choice has sort of been broken down to Cornell and NYU. My parents want me to go to NYU and I have a feeling it's mostly because it's like 15 minutes away from home, whereas Cornell is 5 hours away. I wasn't even allowed to apply to colleges outside of the tri-state area. I actually got more money from Cornell, but that hasn't really changed their thinking.
Putting that aside, I really wan't to go away for college and after visiting for Cornell Days, I really felt like I would be happier there. Of course, this is just based on intuition but I can't really base it on anything else lol.
At the end of the day, I think the quality of education will be around the same (I'm still undecided on my major so I can't really speak for a specific department) and the finances are sort of equal. </p>

<p>I don't really know how I can convince them to let me leave. It's not that they're scared that I'll go crazy if I move away, but more that they just have a strong European-based sense of family, where children stay at home till their 20s.<br>
So yeah, any tips on convincing them to let me go would be really helpful bc their not letting me have the final say.</p>

<p>Does this mean that if you go to NYU you will be living at home and commuting? If so, you will miss out on a lot of the normal college experience. (Maybe your parents WANT you to miss out on it; if so, they probably have a wildly inaccurate idea of what that undergraduate experience is. And even if their idea of campus life is sex-and-drugs, or radical student politics of which they think they will disapprove, it shouldn’t be necessary to point out that students can get those at NYU without difficulty, even if they live at home – as they can and do at universities in Florence, Bologna, Paris, etc., even though they go home for lunch.)</p>

<p>If I were you, I would try to make some tentative decisions about what you would like to study, more than just something vague like history-politics-economics-english-sociology or something similar. Find an area where Cornell is especially strong (Italian Renaissance literature, computer science, Wordsworth, engineering, architecture, Southeast Asian politics, biology, whatever) that will help you make the case for studying there. You don’t have to stick with that, obviously, but it might convince your parents that you have serious reasons for preferring Cornell over NYU. Check out the course catalog of the Cornell college you plan to attend (as well as the Arts College catalog, if the Cornell college you plan to attend is not Arts & Sciences – students from across the campus take courses in the Arts College), look up some professors who teach in an area of interest to you, things they’ve written, courses they teach, etc. It would be good if all high school students did such work before deciding on a school, instead of basing their choice on how pretty the campus is, how the basketball team is doing, or where it stands in the idiotic US News & World Report listings.</p>

<p>Also, if you know somebody, a high school teacher or whoever, who can speak in favor of Cornell, especially if s/he went there, it might help convince your parents.</p>

<p>Just make sure they know that YOU are the one going to college and that Cornell is where you feel you belong.</p>

<p>

I don’t think that’s the case.<br>
NYU freshmen are required to live at school arranged housing. Notice I am not even saying “campus” because NYU doesn’t have a campus. You won’t be able live at home whether you go to NYU or Cornell. I am sure you would be so busy in college that you won’t be able to see your parents much, so distance won’t matter. My younger daughter has a lot of friends at NYU. Students who are on FA find it difficult to have fun because NYC is so expensive. I don’t know why anyone would turn down Cornell for NYU.</p>

<p>Cornell is a more traditional experience in a college town with a traditional campus and that should foster a greater sense of community. If that’s what you like tell them. I think the atmosphere at Cornell will also help with focusing on your studies rather than being torn by family obligations and city fun. Tell them you want to immerse yourself in academic life. I feel that Cornell has a stronger overall academic reputation. As far as the money goes, you may get more cost free opportunities at Cornell. The generosity in the financial aid carries over to funding projects and research. Likely how study abroad works out, you can check on that. I know NYU is known to be less generous. Going to Brown, my daughter has a lot of trips (Fermi lab, Grace Hopper conference, Int’l Robotics conference) paid for by her college.</p>

<p>Five hours is close enough and there is that Cornell bus. You can negotiate to come home a little more often the first year. There is Thanksgiving, winter break spring break and summer. Check the calendar for long weekends you will agree to come back on, or ask them to come up once a semester. At least for first year while they get used to the empty nest. Perhaps in future you will do internship in NYC. Good luck.</p>

<p>Trissly - Does Cornell have a section on their web site for parents? If they do, there might be a section which talks about resources for parents and students, e.g. medical care, counseling, resident assistants…basically anything which talks about care and feeding of Cornell students?</p>

<p>After that, you can point out to your parents that you will be so busy at either place you’re only going to see them a couple of times a semester anyway, so it really doesn’t matter.</p>

<p>Finally, I find it nice that you have a close family structure. I suppose that’s more valuable than being able to go to Cornell. Best of luck to you.</p>

<p>how about this … <a href=“https://parents.cornell.edu/”>https://parents.cornell.edu/</a></p>

<p>Interesting dilemma… many parents would be pushing for the Ivy no matter what. I personally am NOT one who buys into the whole prestige aura around the Ivies, but I suppose in this situation you could try to use that in your favor. </p>

<p>And maybe you can leverage the US News and Forbes rankings (again, not something I buy into wholeheartedly, there are many legitimate reasons to pick a lower cased college over a higher ranked one). US New - Cornell #16 and NYU #32, and Forbes - Cornell overall ranking #19, NYU #56.</p>

<p>The quality of education really is NOT the same, Cornell is considered to be a cut above. </p>

<p>Is there some way you can ease their minds about Cornell? If you are female, are there any all female dorms you could live in at Cornell? (I would consider that a small price to pay to get to attend Cornell over NYU). And look into transportation home and the school schedule, and show them how you would come home and let them know that you would want to come home on longer schools weekends (pretend you want to even if you don’t). Remind them that you expect to be super busy with your studies at either place, so they likely would not see any more of you if you went to NYU. Good luck…</p>

<p>@oldfort many NYU freshman commute, there is no requirement whatsoever that freshman live in NYU dorms.
OP, just show them rankings numbers, pick a particularly strong department at Cornell and explain how and why it is better than the equivalent department at NYU.</p>

<p>Following up on @intparent
Balch is a female only freshman dorm, so that option does exist.</p>

<p><a href=“http://living.sas.cornell.edu/live/wheretolive/residencehalls/Balch-Hall.cfm”>http://living.sas.cornell.edu/live/wheretolive/residencehalls/Balch-Hall.cfm</a></p>

<p>It is a four hour drive from Cornell to Manhattan, but the campus-to-campus bus posts a 4.5 hour travel time. There will be charter bus options at break time, and I believe those will cost less than the daily campus-to-campus bus. Also, you will quickly meet other people from the tri-state area and will usually be able to snag a ride home for breaks. </p>

<p>Completely agree with @BrownParent‌ :
“Cornell is a more traditional experience in a college town with a traditional campus and that should foster a greater sense of community.”</p>

<p>Cornell would offer you that college campus experience that NYU cannot. </p>

<p>-Unless you are actually living at home. it should cost your parents less if you live in Ithaca. My D2 started
college in NYC and later transferred to Cornell. She found that she spent much more money in NYC. Not only were items generally more expensive, but people routinely went out more frequently. In part this was because they did not have the option to just hang out at someone’s apartment. Because nobody there could afford private apartments; so they were economically confined to just dorm housing, with RAs, etc.This was not at NYU, but NYU might be the same.</p>

<ul>
<li>The Ithaca area is a really nice place to visit, if you go to school there that will give them an opportunity to expand their own horizons a bit and find a really nice new place to take a short vacation.</li>
</ul>

<p>As for buses, there are also Shortline and Greyhound, IIRC.</p>

<p>Maybe you can promise them you will come home some specific # times during the year, as was suggested above. (And then do it of course).</p>

<p>If your parents are dead set against you going to Cornell, why did they allow you to attend Cornell Days?</p>

<p>"- The Ithaca area is a really nice place to visit, if you go to school there that will give them an opportunity to expand their own horizons a bit and find a really nice new place to take a short vacation."</p>

<p>That may not work. I didn’t get warm fuzzies from visiting Ithaca.</p>

<p>I guess we each get our “fuzzies” where we will, but this works for me:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/cornell-university/235783-some-pictures.html#latest”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/cornell-university/235783-some-pictures.html#latest</a></p>

<p>Hey, thanks for all your answers! Just to clarify- my parents aren’t scared of me getting in the wrong crowd (boys, drugs, etc.) so much as that they have dependency issues I guess lol. Also, NYU would be less expensive bc I wouldn’t have to pay for living, even though the financial aid offer from Cornell was more generous. But yeah, I agree the whole traditional, “real campus” feel is one of the main reasons I want to go. </p>

<p>trissly, what is your intended major?</p>

<p>Undecided but definitely in the humanities</p>

<p>It’s a nice compromise to let you spread you wing a bit but still be relatively close, instate and all. Hope it works out for you.</p>

<p>Is there a trusted adult you can enlist to help you out here. Someone who might speak to your parents about the benefits of living away at college … how great a school Cornell is … etc. A sibling or your parents, a trusted teacher, a religious leader … someone your parents trust who can advocate your side of the argument (look my daughter did fine and she went away to school).</p>

<p>I have to admit that, from a parent’s perspective, it was really nice having D2 nearby when she was in NYC.
Not that she came home all the time, but sometimes she did, even with a classmate or two in tow, and she was there for all the holidays.</p>

<p>D2 liked it a lot better at Cornell though.</p>