<p>I am a sophomore atmospheric science major at Cornell. I was homeschooled all my life through 12th grade. My mom went to Cornell. When I applied to college, I wanted to apply to colleges far away, but my mom wouldn’t let me. I then applied to Cornell, Penn State, Millersville University of PA, and SUNY Oswego. My choices from first to last were Penn State, SUNY Oswego, Cornell, and Millersville. When Cornell gave me the most money, my parents made me go to Cornell.
I never have liked it here. I got a 3.125 the first semester and a 2.1 the second semester. I am taking Meteorological Observations and Instruments, Microeconomics, and Physics mechanics. I am having trouble memorizing the ridiculous amount of information that the classes require.
Cornell deserves its reputation as a suicide school. It does not seem to care about student happiness. Whatever psychological counseling they have does not count. Why cant they do a system like MIT where students can’t fail a course the first year?
I have this advisor from CALS, and she has the attitude of “I got my degree, too bad for you if you can’t get yours.”
I wouldn’t have a problem with this if Cornell did not require its students to get at least a 2.0 every semester. How come nobody told me about this before I got to college?!
I am so miserable here right now. On top of all that, I have not being successful in finding a girl I like who likes me. It’s just painful rejection after painful rejection.
I’m considering dropping out, but the costs of other colleges are so high, and the accecptance rates so low, it’s a sharktank.
What should I do?</p>
<p>Hey, it’s gonna be okay! I’m a freshman at Cornell and even though it’s early in my college career, trust me when I say that I can totally relate to the stress from financial pressure (to stay in school and get a good job after college) and pressure to achieve good grades, despite the fierce competition in weed out classes/Cornell in general. I’m really sorry to hear about your overall dissatisfaction with Cornell, and it’s unfortunate that your parents pushed you to attend Cornell without considering what YOU wanted. However, now that you’re here, I think you should try to make the best of it. </p>
<p>I know that your advisor in CALS isn’t much help, but maybe you can try to talk to another advisor in a different school (I’m in CAS, and I love mine) or even just another CALS advisor for a different name group? I’ve also noticed that upperclassmen can sometimes be a lot more helpful than administration as far as advice on classes, scheduling, professors, and life at Cornell goes… so maybe try discussing your concerns or questions with them instead. </p>
<p>I won’t lie, your grades aren’t stellar, but you’re only a sophomore! There’s still so much time to improve, especially because the first finals of this year haven’t even begun yet in most classes. I think your best bet is to study (even cram, if necessary) for the upcoming exams, try to use winter break to seriously consider your options concerning transferring (as well as the pros and cons), and, if you can, relax and see the bright side: you’re attending CORNELL, a school that thousands of kids would die to go to! There are a bunch of unique opportunities here that could really turn your opinion of the school around, and I hope that in time, you will find them. (:</p>
<p>There are a lot of layers to what you are describing. Is your unhappiness with Cornell in general, your major, the grading, the social scene or a combination of all of them? Do you want to transfer or are you motivated to stay and seek the resources that you will need to be successful. There are resources out there for you! And should you decide to transfer, there are schools that are affordable. Your situation, while difficult, is not really that uncommon. </p>
<p>Have you talked to your parents about this? If not, please start with them. Perhaps Cornell was your Mother’s dream and not yours… </p>
<p>The most important thing is to get through the semester. It’s finals week and it is very easy to get discouraged and want to give up. Please, please hang in there. You only have a little over a week. Over the winter break, you can evaluate your situation and all of your options. Until then, give your finals everything you’ve got. You can do it!</p>
<p>The administration definitely has suicide paranoia. I walked into Gannett once because I was having nosebleeds and the doctor started asking me if I was feeling depressed, and that I should seek out counseling if I ever had depressed thoughts. All of this before I even started talking.</p>
<p>Yesterday, I got an E-Mail from an Assistant Dean about her “concern for my well-being.” What? It was a completely presumptuous statement. She also asked if she could do anything to help. Yeah, inflate my GPA to 4.0, LOL.</p>
<p>There’s literally near constant mentions of suicide by the administration in their attempt to prevent it. And of course the nets over the gorges now.</p>
<p>To me, based on what you’ve written, it seems like your problems are a lot deeper than the fact that you are at “Cornell.” I don’t see any reason why you wouldn’t be having these same issues at any other schools. That said, you have plenty of time to turn your college experience around, both personally and academically.</p>
<p>First, I think you should really seek out and utilize the counseling services Cornell offers. You say it doesn’t “count”. Have you tried it yet? I am inferring from what you’ve written that you have not. Just because Cornell doesn’t have a policy like MIT doesn’t mean Cornell doesn’t care. If you don’t want to go straight to Gannett, there is peer counseling through EARS in Willard Straight Hall. I think you’ll find there are in fact MANY people at Cornell who care about your happiness. Here’s the thing, you are an adult now and it’s ON YOU to make certain things happen. You have to be proactive and find a resource (or resources) you can trust. Don’t put off finding help. Coming to this forum and writing a frank post was an excellent first step. However, Cornell really does have the resources to help you, but you are going to have to put some effort in yourself. And there is no reason to “wait until next semester” or putting off your concerns “until next week.” Go and seek some counseling now.</p>
<p>Second, regarding specific academic issue you are not bound to only talk to your advisor. It’s true, they’re not all great. Feel free to talk to ANY of your professors/instructors/TAs until you find one that can help you out. If that isn’t working, go to your major’s department head and either talk to them or have them get you the right advice. There are study help centers to help you memorize the ridiculous amounts of information. You may need to “learn” how to study in ways you never had to previously.</p>
<p>As said above, you are not alone. It may seem like it, but that’s because the issues you are having are very personal in nature and therefore people with similar issues aren’t broadcasting them. I forget the exact statistic, but I think you’d be surprised how many students at one point or another seek counseling at Cornell.</p>
<p>FWIW, I have heard stories about many students who have had extremely miserable experiences at MIT – in spite of lenient grading policies the freshman year. Some of the tech schools have that policy to deliberately ease new students in to the rigorous coursework and grading they will experience later. So it generally just delays the trauma for a semester or a year. From my experience as a college professor, I can assure you that there are unhappy students at every college and university. It is not unique to Cornell. You have gotten some great advice and suggestions. Seek out help and support, for counseling and academic support. No one will know you are struggling and/or unhappy unless you clue them in. There is a lot of independence in college. So, generally speaking, you need to seek out what you want and need. It isn’t likely to be offered freely, without your request, out of respect for your personal privacy. (Unless, of course, it comes to someone’s attention as potentially life threatening.)</p>
<p>There are many students who are forced to attend a school that isn’t their top choice, for financial reasons. You either deal with it as best you can (“make the best of it”) or arrange to transfer. But that is also a burden that you will have to assume yourself. Your first step should be talking it over with your parents. While they might want you to be at Cornell, they will also want you to be healthy and happy.</p>
<p>Most colleges and universities are not uncaring. Most want to support their students, academically and personally. But they are often pretty big places, so students have to speak up and ask for help and support–both academically and personally. Remember that, since you are an adult, there are legal limitations as to how much they can do without your specific request or permission.</p>
<p>Switch majors to something more interesting? Or internal transfer?</p>
<p>Or just transfer to a reputable SUNY - much cheaper.</p>
<p>You have gotten great advice from other posters. I just want to add that you may want to think carefully about which classes you are taking next term. You say you are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of memorization of facts in your current science classes. You might try taking different kinds of classes, like literature, history or psychology. You will meet some new people, learn in a different way and cut the amount of memorizing involved.</p>
<p>One more thing: one of my guy friends claimed that the best place to meet smart women was by taking women’s studies classes. He liked the odds: just a few guys, lots of women in each class. Consider registering for a class likely to draw more women than men, unlike your current class schedule.</p>
<p>silicon, those women know that men are only taking that class to meet them.</p>
<p>It seems one common thread to your problems is your mother. She seems to have attachment issues. Homeschooling you all through high school is pretty extreme for someone who is otherwise educated and should understand the difficulty of transitioning into a formal academic setting at such a late stage. </p>
<p>Also, forbidding you to go far away to school is peculiar. If she said you must stay in-state, I could at least understand that request from a financial perspective, but obviously it’s more about geographic nearness rather than state lines.</p>
<p>I think you should approach her, explain your misery, and try to impress upon her that you’re entering adulthood and can’t be expected to stay close for her sake if it means sacrificing your happiness. I’d at least apply to transfer to your ideal schools, regardless of where they are. If you get accepted you can figure out the family and financial situation at that point, or perhaps you’ll have settled into the rhythm of college and grown to appreciate Cornell by then. But at least you’ll have options on the table and won’t feel so trapped. </p>
<p>In the meantime, I’d recommend spending time off campus in Ithaca or take in the many natural features in the area. Freshman year is rough but there’s a great deal of natural and cultural beauty in the area that can provide some balance.</p>
<p>Regarding women - they can sense desperation. The harder you try, the more they’re going to resist. You seem to be seeking companionship to fill a void, which is never going to appeal to women. Find some relatively stable footing in your own sense of peace and then I suspect they’ll be drawn in to learn more.</p>
<p>I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. </p>
<p>To me, it sounds like the root of your unhappiness is your social life. You mention girls. But, I think it is far more important to develop solid group of friends - same sex friends or girls who you don’t intend to date. </p>
<p>What made the college experience fun and memorable for me was due to my group of friends. Being a big city person, I didn’t particularly like Ithaca the first time I set my foot on campus. But, after first semester, and after I met my core group of friends, I had a ton of fun. More fun than I have now, living in Manhattan.</p>
<p>Cornell is a pretty diverse school, and it has a lot of people with diverse interests, hobbies, personalities, and so on. You are bound to meet people who you can relate well to. </p>
<p>The best way to meet girls while you are in college is through mutual friends. See, another importance of having good friends. Especially female friends. My female friends introduce their friends to me all the time, and I’ve dated a couple of them over the years.</p>
<p>Lastly, if it appears that you can’t handle your coursework well enough, I suggest you switch your major. Worst comes worst, if all options don’t work, you should feel free to transfer to somewhere else that you feel happier.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice.</p>
<p>Philly2034, I think what you need is sleep. Many Cornell students need to relax and sleep more. You are having trouble memorizing information because of sleep deprive, I think.</p>
<p>My daughter had been helping 6 or 7 students who are having personal issues/stress and they had constantly talked to her for a long time. Poor kids, all of them. And as a grader of two Math courses she spent more time than she thought she needed. Eventually she got sleep deprive also and blacked out in one of her tests. I realized this recently and asked her to not worry about anything just sleep more.</p>