I just need to rant for a sec. looking at how much we’re paying out for S1s college right now (more than half my take home pay) and trying to plan for S2s college in another year. I got incredibly annoyed to receive a solicitation from college one for donations. Good golly, do they think we have gold buried in the basement? I’ve cut back on all extra spending, and if I’m going to donate money, it isn’t going to be to a wealthy college where all the office staff drive better cars than I could ever afford (mine is a 2002, with 130,000 miles on it). We make less than $100k gross, but our EFC is still $37k, plus loans. It takes some chutzpah for the college president to tell me how important my donation is. I told the school to take me off their benefactor list. And told my kid to be sure to look for free food on campus whenever possible!
I know other families paying lower EFC and they have a higher income. I keep wondering if I could have made a mistake (or others are lying).
Not sure how we will help S2. It isn’t going to be easy. I know my parents didn’t struggle this much to pay for our college, and they had about the same income, for back in the day. I took no loans undergrad, just worked part time. Amazing how it has changed. I’ve stopped giving to my alma mater too, because they do the same crap to students now, much less in aid despite record endowment. It’s nuts.
They get ‘points’ on the USNWR rankings if they have more alums/students donating. They are happy even if you give $5.
You do know that your assets count toward your family contribution too. And if you contributed to a tax deferred retirement plan, those contributions were added back in as income.
And most colleges do NOT meet full need anyway…and that sounds like the case with this college.
We never made donations to our kids’ colleges while they were students. No need to be angry at the solicitation…they were just asking. Also, keep this in mind…if you receive a call…it’s from a student who is working at the call center as their college job. Please be kind.
Why is this? Do you have a lot in savings/investments? What is driving up your EFC. Seems like it should be about $25k.
Does your child’s school “meet need”? Will they give more once Child #2 starts college?
Yes, I know about assets; I had hoped to use them for retirement but didn’t squirrel them away in time. It pays to be rich enough to have a financial adviser to help you put your assets in the right places, so you can have a decent retirement. I wasn’t that fortunate. Fortunate enough to save, but not smart enough to hide it.
So… I won’t reduce my contributions to retirement and I don’t think it’s reasonable for colleges to expect anyone to do that. Who else will support us during retirement? If they take all the assets, and also the retirement contributions, I’ll be living under a bridge.
I am never mean to people who call. If I’m not interested I just say so and hang up. But yes, I do resent wealthy colleges asking for still more money from me when I’ve given up so much to send my kid there, and they have lavish receptions for rich families I wouldn’t even be allowed at! Let them donate. The foundation offices know our net worth just like they know everyone else’s net worth. They don’t need to ask for more money I haven’t got to give them.
Colleges don’t expect you to reduce retirement contributions…but they do expect you to put them in qualified retirement accounts. The balances IN those accounts are not counted as assets for financial aid purposes. Because there is a penalty for withdrawing those retirement funds before retirement.
A regular savings? That can be used for anything…including college costs.
Colleges don’t expect you to reduce payments to retirement, sell your house, or stop taking vacations or going to the theater. You can still do all that, but then don’t expect them to reduce tuition. The college costs $X, and they expect you to pay $X. If you want financial aid, you have to show them you have need and they have a formula to do that which excludes qualified retirement accounts, some assets, some deductions, some home equity.
As twoinanddone stated, rankings factor in parent and alumni participation. A few other thoughts on this issue as a retired development/fundraising professional:
- Development offices at all schools are applying for grants from private charitable foundations. The foundations often factor in alumni and parent giving as a “soft” sign that the broad school community feels positively about the education they got or their children are getting. So, it is really true that a $5-10 gift each your to the annual fund can help in bringing in large gifts to the school for capital projects (that your student benefits from), scholarship support (that your student may be benefitting from), and for faculty research (that your student also benefits from).
- Your students, and you yourself back in your own college days, benefitted greatly from past alumni and parents who “paid it forward” because they believed enough in the school to invest in its financial health and future.
- I believe that every parent, especially those whose kids are receiving financial aid, should consider making at least a nominal gift ($5 is great if that’s what you can do) every year, as a vote of confidence in the programs, teachers, and campus life their chid is experiencing. In doing so, you also will be patterning for your children a tradition of giving and gratitude throughout life.
- Most schools will allow you to direct your gift to a specific department or program on campus (arts, athletics, faculty programs, etc.)–so you know your gift is not going for “lavish receptions.” For example, I give to the choral arts program at my alma mater because my time on campus, and my life in the many years since, was deeply enriched by that program. Check it out at your kids’ schools.
- I’m glad you are kind to the callers, who are often students doing this for a work-study job. I know student callers who were reduced to tears by rude alumni. There is no reason for that.
- We talk of parents and alumni giving of their time, talent, and treasure. My view is that if you are happy with your child’s experience at their school, you should consider opportunities to give one of these. If the treasure part is impossible, you might volunteer to be a mentor to a student in your field, sponsor an internship, work a registration table at an event your kid is involved with, or even post positive comments about your childs’ experiences on social media. These are gifts.
Giving to your alma mater is very different from this new animal called “the parent fund”. I am with you granola. I I I had 2 in college (overlapping for 3 years) and full pay. These callers (whoever they are) asking about my kid’s major and experience at the school before they went in for the kill reminded me of a car salesman. Yes, I was polite, but do wish I had caller ID at the time.
Both my husband and I have been very generous to our undergraduate institutions (but not where we both got our PhDs; emotionally that felt more like “a job” to both of us). But parent funds? No, sorry. Being full pay was enough of a donation 
A key phrase above is “if you are happy with your child’s experience at their school” and indeed, I am not. Not at all. My son isn’t happy there either, and the administration doesn’t really seem to give a darn about the problems he has experienced. The faculty are excellent, but cannot make up for the lack of concern by administration and staff for student welfare. He will probably transfer out, and the only response from staff regarding a possible transfer was more or less, “don’t let the door hit ya.”
I also think that those massive endowments are crazy. Those funds really should go back to helping students. My son is working, I do all I can to make ends meet, and when I’m literally mending clothes at home, I get a bit frustrated to see the endless solicitations. We are nowhere near full pay, but it’s still a crazy ton of money. I hope we will pay significantly less at his transfer school, which remains to be seen. Fingers crossed.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
The OP wanted to rant, I let him/rant. Now I’m closing. If the OP wants to ash about strategies for S2, s/he can ask a new question.