Could Be Either Topic... Need Your Expert Opinion Please!

<p>I can’t decide whether to put this essay under Significant Person + Impact or Significant Event + Impact. Also need to know what you think would make it better. Thank you!!</p>

<p>The air conditioning in the Justice’s Chamber was fighting a losing battle against the heat, and the seven of us were sweaty and irritable in our Girls State Supreme Court robes. Every time Katelyn opened her mouth, the rest of us sighed. We had kept the courtroom waiting for hours, and the last thing I wanted to do was continue debating something six of us agreed about. But the afternoon dragged on and we still had no verdict, thanks to Katelyn and her incessant arguments. Bored, the other Justices wandered out one by one, until it was just her and I in the Chamber, awkwardly alone. I attempted to make small talk.</p>

<p>“I hope we can wrap this up soon. Dinner’s in an hour and I’m so hungry!”</p>

<p>“Why is this so hard for you guys to figure out?” she blurted.</p>

<p>“What do you mean?” </p>

<p>“It’s like you aren’t even hearing what I’m saying!”</p>

<p>Exhausted, I didn’t respond, and resolved to finish her once and for all in the next debate so we could get to Taco Night as soon as possible. I leafed through my reference binder again, searching for ammunition in the rulings she had mentioned earlier. As I flipped through, I realized something uncomfortable: I had no idea which cases Katelyn had talked about. Astonishingly, I had listened to her for hours without actually listening. Katelyn was right. Ashamed, I wondered how many other girls I had ignored.</p>

<p>Preoccupied with getting a quick verdict, I disregarded why the Supreme Court has more than one member. I had almost overlooked another Justice’s view because I wasn’t willing to put in the effort to understand her beliefs and reasoning, an injustice easily rationalized away by the fact that the vote was 6-1. The Girls State citizens gave me the opportunity to be a Supreme Court Justice, and I came scarily close to wasting their votes out of sheer laziness. Despite how open-minded and accepting I thought I was (in fact, those traits were my campaign platform), as I sat in that hot room, alone with Katelyn, I realized that I had some work to do before I could call that an honest description of myself. The gap between the girl I was and the woman I wanted to be became totally clear, and I knew what I needed to do, both for Katelyn and myself. </p>

<p>When the rest of the court returned, I asked everyone to share their opinion on the case and our verdict. Surprisingly, nobody, even the six majority members felt the same way, and I realized we had to start from the beginning. Together we reopened our case binders and discussed everything in them, from previous precedents and case details to which state statutes to cite in our verdict. Everybody was involved, and we moved quickly toward our goal: a unanimous ruling that encompassed the opinions of every Justice, including Katelyn. The seven of us stood side by side as it was read to the courtroom, and I’ll never forget how good it felt to hear our verdict and know we had each poured a part of our soul into it. It wasn’t the product of one triumphant side, but rather a combination of both. It was truly ours.</p>

<p>Please help, I would really appreciate it <3</p>

<p>If you edit this essay I will literally freak out and be so happy. Please please please.</p>

<p>IS IT THAT BAD THAT NO ONE WILL EDIT IT?!</p>

<p>I wouldn’t suggest posting your complete essay on a public forum. Someone could easily just copy and paste your essay or steal your ideas. The best option would be to give a summary of your essay to get some feedback, or message reputable users to give you feedback. Actually, a better option would be to ask a trusted teacher, adviser, other adult to read it over for you.</p>

<p>Just from reading through this quickly, I think it fits under “Significant Event + Impact” more appropriately, but either could work. I’m not sure if it would matter.</p>

<p>OP, you should contact cc about removing your post or shutting down this thread - never post your essay publicly. Tip-get editing, there are too many format and grammatical errors. I only read first bit and there were basic errors like use of “her” when it should be “she.”</p>