<p>To those who know me will understand that it is an understatement that our DD and me have different opinions about college applications. In one of our “discussions”, she told me that the root is that I want her to simply go to a better college and her goal is to become a better person. She said, “It does not matter where I go, I will be involved and I will do my best to learn”. “ While some school will offer better conditions, at the end, I am confident that I will be a better person”. She focused on thing she thinks is important to her to be a “better person” rather than those that make her resume looks good. </p>
<p>She did all these “small things”, such as helping school making files rather than writing her own essay for a major scholarship, such as working as stage crew every night in the week before SAT test, etc. My assertion was that “right, like school is going to take you because you file for 5 hours. Those kids who have perfect scores and do these and that amazing things will below you away.” </p>
<p>As the “yes” starts to come in, I first felt that I did a good job pushing her to get good grades and higher test scores. However, when I see so many kids with “glowing” stats failed to make the cut, I begin to wonder. The latest shock was the “yes” from Stanford. She did the application as a “joke”; writing thing about she left her socks anywhere etc. I yelled at her for wasting major $ but she said that was the “true” her and her best writings. </p>
<p>Could the admission really see and appreciate the “better person”? Could it be possible that … … I was wrong regarding what college application is all about?</p>
<p>Congrats on Stanford–quite an accomplishment in this very tough year. and yes, you are wrong–colleges are looking for people, not perfect statistics. The fact that your daughter wrote a quirky essay and Stanford accepted her says a lot about what Stanford is looking for–and many other schools as well.</p>
<p>It seems that your D has a strong sense of herself and understands that at the end of the day–not to mention at the end of your life–the kind of person you are and what sort of difference you have made to your family and to the world is much more important and satisfying than how many awards you receive or promotions you get at your job.</p>
<p>You are lucky to have such a child, and it seems that you should be more trusting and supportive of her instincts.</p>
<p>I hear my kids at school say all day “don’t worry, I got this”</p>
<p>You daughter showed you inspite of all you thought she was doing right or wrong, at the end of the day, she had this.</p>
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<p>About the socks, yes admissions committes build classes based on real life flesh and blood people. College admissions is not solely about scores and grades as colleges are not at a loss for high achieving students. Yes, they value the importance of learning that takes place both in and outside of the classroom. I think the socks essay showed that while she may be smart, she doesn’t take her self so seriously that she doesn’t have kid moments . Most importantly she is confortable in her own skin.</p>
<p>Dad II - what you have described is so much like my daughter. She wants to “give back” to the world even though we don’t have much. She does lots of volunteer work, babysits (inlcuding autistic kids) and works so hard in school. We wanted her to apply to Yale, but she absolutely refused. After being waitlisted at Brandeis (top choice), rejected by Swarthmore and GW, she was accepted at Amherst. She is absolutely thrilled!</p>
<p>I think being true to oneself when writing the essay is so important. Trying to tailor each essay to a specific school isn’t the way to find your true path.</p>
<p>Congrats to your D - I know she will be the “better person” she aspires to (she is already a great person) and I hope all her dreams come true.</p>
<p>From some of your past posts, I think what several CC’ers have tried to tell you before is playing out with your daughter’s acceptances. Hopefully you can see that your daughter is a mature, and exceptional student and individual. She will be successful, whether she goes to Stanford or a Tier 8 school! You have done what you thought was best as a parent; and that’s all any of us can do. Now comes the tough part, of realizing that your hard work has paid off—you have raised an extremely bright, responsible young woman, who is (almost) an adult. Give yourself credit for your hard work, and show how proud you are of her. She WILL continue to be great, even if sometimes it’s not quite the path you think is the one she should take.</p>
<p>Dad II, I’m all for the pats on the back–but unless you can be less controlling and more supportive of your daughter’s choices, she will pull away from you and that will be a loss for both of you.</p>
<p>You have an outstanding daughter–but now you have to TRUST HER CHOICES; she is far on the road to being her own person, and although her chioces may not be your choices, you must have a positive attitude toward her decisions, or she will stop involving you in them as soon as she is able.</p>
<p>Dad II…the best gift you can give your daughter now (in my opinion) is the gift of allowing HER to choose the college she will attend for the next four years. She has some wonderful choices. And yes, you should be proud of her accomplishments…not what YOU did, but rather what SHE did. At the end of the day on April 30, it will be your daughter who will be going to college, not you. </p>
<p>The hardest day of my life was April 28 (we set that as a deadline in our house to allow for deposits to be sent, etc). DD actually agonized over the decision between two schools. The one she chose was NOT our top choice (for financial reasons). However, she is thriving there…and the choice SHE made was, in the end, the right one.</p>
<p>Give that girl a big hug, and let her know that you are sure she will make a great choice for herself.</p>
<p>Congratulations to your entire family, Dad II. </p>
<p>My daughter leaves her socks everywhere too; kitchen counters (yuck), computer desk, front porch, garage. I never thought such hideous habits could lead to Stanford…</p>
<p>I hope you plan to let us know what the final decision is, if your daughter doesn’t mind, of course.</p>
<p>“Could the admission really see and appreciate the ‘better person’?”</p>
<p>Having read many of your posts, and the responses, I know that semantics and word choice often cause a lot of confusion…but I am commenting on your choice of words here…because it affects a number of the kids (and parents of kids) who are on this site.</p>
<p>The admissions office at Stanford, and the other schools your daughter has been admitted to, would probably not say they had chosen the “better person.” They recognize that many of the students who are not admitted are qualified, would do well at their school.</p>
<p>However, there’s more than grades and test scores in your daughter’s application that makes her an attractive candidate, and made Stanford and other schools realize she would fit into the mix of what they’re looking for in the class of 2012. In addition to fitting into the class they are building, they also realize she is likely to be an alumna who will continue to make a contribution to the school and society.</p>
<p>congrats Dad II. WE TOLD YOU SO! Now I hope you will let her choose where to go and what to study and will carry this lesson with you as your son approaches the college search.</p>
<p>Dad II - I am so happy for you and your daughter. You must be so proud. A big fat congratulations. Now, the tough time starts - choosing the college to attend!</p>
<p>I’m sure I must have tried to get the point across in at least a zillion posts. My d. also got into reach schools with humorous, self-deprecatory essays – I think it gave the ad coms a smile and it was nice to see the personality shining through, knowing that the student was trying to be honest rather than making up things to impress them. Of course the student needs the academic package to back up the essay – but I’m not surprised at the results in this case. Your daughter must be a truly amazing person to retain her charm, grace, and sense of humor when she’s got you on her case all the time. ;)</p>
<p>Ditto to what everyone else has so eloquently said. Your D obviously has something special that shone through in her essays – the grades and scores get her on the admissions table, but her socks and filing skills got her into the accepted pile.</p>
<p>She clearly has a great deal going for her – now trust her instincts, even though those instincts may not jibe with yours.</p>
<p>Very, very important warnings here, Dad II … DO NOT push your D to any particular school. Trust her to make a decision based on what is best for HER. She has been accepted to several very good schools (I have seen WashU, Vandy, Stanford, and OSU, I believe). If finances are not an issue, let her go to the school SHE wants to attend. It’s clear to me that you & your D have very different personalities, so only she knows what is best for her! Congratulations to both you & your D.</p>
<p>I’m not sure that I was one who can say “I told you so”, but I sure thought it. I’m so happy to hear that your daughter has great choices. She sounds like a great kid.</p>
<p>I echo the ones who have said to DADII - let your D decide where to go. She has obviously made good choices thus far (essay topics, how much time to devote to them, etc.), now let her continue making her choices. Congratulations on her fine acceptances.</p>