Could someone please give me some feedback on my Common App essay?

Hi there!

I felt like my first draft of my Common App essay made me seem like some kind of robot, so I changed it up quite a bit. Now there’s another problem: Was I being too emotional? I’m very aware of the fact that what’s a big struggle to you might seem like a piece of cake to other people.

Could someone please take a look at my essay and tell me whether or not I did a balanced, effective job? Thanks!

Here’s my email: sd112358101@gmail.com

Your email is hidden unfortunately.

Do not post it here though… They will use a plagiarism checker and it may show up as unoriginal.