This is my first ACT essay. I would like to know how i did and get a score (1-12) like the actual ACT essay.
Prompt: Should schools require students to take art or music classes?
Answer:
Our interests affect our choices. If one prefers science to art, then he or she should have the option to choose so. The art and music classes could provide unnecessary information to an uninterested student. Although these classes could provide valuable skills to all students, these classes are not needed for those who prefer to take science or math.
Most importantly, students should not be required to take art or music classes because they might not be interested in those areas. If a student finds these classes boring, then he or she might do poorly in the class or even find it more difficult than other classes. Students should have the choice to take these courses so that they can excel in their interests and career fields.
Furthermore, students not pursuing career areas related to art or music do not need to take these classes. Many career fields may not recommend taking art or music classes because they may not apply to any aspect of that career. Music and art provide various skills that may help some careers but not others. For example, programmers do not need any art or music classes to help with their jobs. Instead, they may prefer to take more computer-related courses.
In conclusion, the personal interests of students should guide them to choose what classes they want to take. If they are not interested in art or music they should have the option of not taking those classes. Some career fields do not need a student to take fine art courses. All students should have the choice of whether to take art or music or neither.
Score: 6-8
I myself am not good at essay writing. But I’ll be happy to give you a couple of points.
First of all, the length of the essay is short. For thirty minutes, you should be able to write more.
Giving more in-depth examples and elaborate explanations will help. You can say that this requirement not only is at a disadvantage for students but also for schools. Time and resources will be wasted to teach uninterested students art and music.
To further improve your score, you should use better vocabulary.
And also, the first and last paragraphs give readers an idea of how good the essay is. So, make sure your first and last paragraphs are stellar.
The essay will be “enhanced” for the 2015 Sept Test
Use this link to get the details and a sample prompt.
http://www.actstudent.org/writing/enhancements/
Thank you so much for reviewing and giving some points to improve it. I know, I really need to improve my essays to score better. I shall keep posting some more essays, whoever could please grade them it will really be helpful for me to improve.
Here is my new essay:
Topic : Should there be a rule for children under the age of 16 to have a curfew at 7pm.
While it does take away some freedom from children under 16, a curfew at 7.00pm is a safe and helpful way to affect society.
Most importantly, an early curfew keeps children safe. Many dangerous accidents could potentially happen to children if they are out in the dark.They would be safer under a curfew of 7 p.m. Also, children themselves would not get lost as much. Even if they were, then before 7pm, there usually is adequate sunlight to find them or for them to find their way home. There are also many cons to the curfew before 7in the evening.
Furthermore, the early curfew could negatively affect the children. Teens and pre-teens would disagree with the his plan because they like to attend parties late at night. Children need their freedom as much as adults do. They are responsible enough to take care of themselves and should be trusted to do so. The curfew would be a reduction at freedom. Many children would disagree and if applied, they may not following. The curfew would be potentially good or bad.
The curfew helps children be safe, but takes away their freedom. The curfew, along with the pros, also comes with numerous cons.
I would give you a 6. You addressed the topic well, but you didn’t wow me with word choice and the whole thing sounded kind of redundant.
@RapidFox592 Not to discourage, but I read several samples and I think to get about 10, you should try to expand your essay about 500 words or more.