<p>toneranger- yes, I intend to be civil. I am not inclined to sue since the parish has financial problems and I have many friends in this parish. I have no reason to want to hurt them. I just don’t want to be hurt irrevocably by this pastor. </p>
<p>I forgot to mention that I have been a parishioner here for 12 years and this is the parish into which my husband became a Catholic. </p>
<p>I will be leaving the parish for other spiritual venues. I cannot support this pastor, even though I still support the Church, as a whole.</p>
<p>Right now, my viewpoint is toward the future- there is nothing I can do about the past. There is nothing I can do to change the way this pastor is going to choose to handle things.</p>
<p>I’m sending hugs because I am not sure what advice I can offer you.
But given the way in which the Church is viewed today, even if you said that your were terminated, but could not discuss the reasons but that they involved “office politics”…a lot of good potential employers would draw their own conclusions in your favor.</p>
<p>Again, in some states, if there is a procedure for disciplinary proceedings, it can be viewed as a contract or implied contract. If it isn’t followed, it’s a breach of contract. I’m NOT suggesting that’s Texas law; I know nothing about Texas law. I am just suggesting that you ask an attorney about it. It has nothing to do with “right to work”–two different things. </p>
<p>This is just general advice. Say as little as possible tomorrow. I would recommend taking notes, especially if someone else is doing so. Remember that if there’s any argument about who said what later, it will be 2 against 1. Having notes of who said what may be of some help. If it’s not feasible to take notes, write down everything that happened as soon as you can after the meeting. </p>
<p>Obviously, if your name is out there in cyberland, you MUST list this position. </p>
<p>If your meeting isn’t until noon, call your local bar association early am and see if you can get an attorney who will give you advice as to what you should /should not say. </p>
<p>I will take notes of course. I also have 30 plus pages of documentation since this all started. I believe the documentation would show that the pastor is an idiot, but not necessarily unlawful. </p>
<p>I will call a lawyer in the am. I’ve already been praying.</p>
<p>I still don’t understand your comment about unemployment and “not paying into the system”. Employers pay a tax to the unemployment fund of their state (at least in our state). Employees do not (again, in our state). Certain positions are exempt from being able to collect unemployment (for example, officers of a company). Now maybe the church is exempt from participating in the unemployment system in your state for some reason (maybe an exemption because they are a non-profit or something?), but I would make EXTRA sure that this is the case. Even small companies pay this tax; I have a one person consulting firm, and in our state I pay the tax even though I am the only employee and cannot receive benefits because I am an officer of the company.</p>
<p>pipmom - sorry that this is also your parish. Having a view to the future is the best thing you can do. </p>
<p>And just a thought, if you don’t get unemployment - why not just call in tomorrow and tell them that you’re resigning effective immediately? Follow up with a letter delivered the next day. Just a thought… </p>
<p>Thanks, toneranger. My reading of this article is that is that the OP might or might not be able to get unemployment benefits, depending on what the diocese has done regarding paying into the system or not. But she should check on this and not make an assumption.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry for your situation. I work part-time as a Director of Christian Education in a Protestant denomination. My spouse is an unemployed member of the clergy (and I will verify that no unemployment benefits are available).</p>
<p>I know the Catholic church is your home, but you might want to take a break and find another spiritual home during this difficult time. I have many wonderful, supportive friends in other faith traditions. Our choir director is Jewish and is one of the most treasured people in our congregation. The most meaningful worship experience I’ve ever had was at a Metropolitan Community Church. </p>
<p>Best wishes for the next few days and weeks during this time.</p>
<p>jonri, the phrase the OP may be trying to find is “Texas is an ‘employment at will’ state”. “Will” can be defined generally in Texas as “at the whim and caprice of the employer”. An employee can be fired at any time, for any reason, other than a prohibited reason. “Woke up. Decided I didn’t like the employee. Buh-bye.”</p>
<p>Case-law can be found that suggests that Texas courts do not necessarily recognize an employee handbook as providing the employee a contractual right of action for a breach of that handbook by the employer. Even if it could have been so construed, many handbooks reserve the “at will” relationship specifically. The actual handbook (and its progressive discipline procedures) needs to be evaluated. </p>
<p>I have no knowledge of the specifics of this situation and am not offering legal advice on the OP’s situation. Just chatting about the general state of Texas employment law. And it ain’t great for the aggrieved employee in most instances.</p>
<p>Oh, and OP. My wife lost her job of 25 years earlier this year. I feel for you. Chin up. Keep fighting. Don’t let the …, uhh, “employer” get you down .</p>
<p>Posters have given you yea and nay votes re resigning. We don’t know the context, so we’re offering general advice. We have to leave the decision to you.
Here’s my bottom line: you don’t seem to have control of the accusations, possibly no real info at all. No control of future blabbing. No control over the meeting.
What you can control is how YOU frame (describe) this job-end for future work. In your own words, can you say some combination of: in taking this job, you understood your role to be x, that you were confident your experience/skills were what they needed- and that, during year, it became clear…
Ie, it just wasn’t working out for you and wasn’t fairly meeting their needs. It’s legit. You find the words, without branding yourself as difficult to work with or hard to please.<br>
It is fine to explain you had been concerned about your role for some time. If a church calls that priest for some chat, your best shot is to already have explained the situation in some understandable, reasonable way. I’ve tried to write this quickly- I hope you see the direction I’m suggesting.</p>
<p>I have no new words of wisdom or ideas to add to what’s already been said by the other posters, so all I have to say is: hugs to you, it will get better! My DH was thrown out of the company that he helped to nurture from a tiny startup by the new investors who needed a couple of scapegoats to instill fear into the rest of the employees. The day he was let go, he felt huge relief. His job search was painful, but he was able to land a position with a company run by one of his former colleagues who remembered DH as a hard-working, nice person. You too will be able to vercome this!</p>
<p>I’m so sorry, Pipmom. How awful to have this happen and not even have anyone be willing to tell you what the supposed problem is. You deserve so much better.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone who said not to be deceptive about having held this position. If you’re 100% sure that there’s no possibility of unemployment insurance, then why not simply resign before you can be fired? Of course, if you think there might be a severance package offered to you, it’s very understandable that you wouldn’t want to give that up.</p>
<p>And it’s unfortunate, but very true in light of recent events, as someone already suggested, that if you explain that it didn’t work out because of office politics, or because you had “issues with the priest,” well, I suspect that there are many potential employers who wouldn’t hold it against you.</p>
<p>My thoughts are with you, and I wish you the very best.</p>
<p>I have found that working in a church can be stressful simply because (whether this makes sense or not!) expectations are that people will behave to a certain level of decency. When something like what has happened in your situation occurs, it just hurts more because it’s painfully obvious that the people involved are not behaving the way any good person should, much less someone who “represents” the church.</p>
<p>I feel for you. It’s just a sad situation, but as many before me have pointed out, it will get better. My prayer is that you feel unburdened and at peace, ready to go forward and discover what is in store for you. I’ll bet there are great things out there!</p>
<p>I have a letter of resignation ready to go and to be handed to the pastor when I walk in. After last week, it was my plan to deliver it yesterday morning, but I was told not to report to work that day. </p>
<p>I don’t think there will be any severance. The parish is hurting financially, so the pastor wouldn’t want to spend any more money than he has to. </p>
<p>I thank you all for your input. I will work to construct a decent way of explaining this job experience in any interview- I don’t want to be deceptive in the future and will therefore include this job on my resume. </p>
<p>Yes, churchmusicmom, one of the hardest parts of this is that one would expect Christian behavior from a leader and members of a Catholic parish. But, alas that is not the case here. </p>
<p>Did you get regular payroll checks from the church or not? As a part of the payroll check, they took out your income tax withholding, FICA, FUI and SUI. The latter two are for unemployment insurance. So the unemplyment insurance was paid already. You are entitled for your unemployment payment if you are fired, which you did, go to the unemployment office and find out what paperwork do you need to file the claim. It was 30 years ago I filed unemployment insurance, so I cannot remember what is the procedure. I think your ex-employer needs to give you a piece of paper that says so.</p>
<p>If you receive cash from the church without reporting, then never mind the above.</p>
<p>Pipmom - big hugs for you. Hope you are buoyed by the good wishes from people who have responded on this thread.</p>
<p>I hope that you close this chapter of your life as quickly and graciously as possible. Look for something that taps your considerable skills outside of the Catholic church if you can. As a “recovering” catholic and now Presbyterian I was surprised to find out just how damaged the church’s reputation has become with the knowledge of not only the abuse by priests, but the covering up of criminal behavior. </p>
<p>If you tell other employers outside the church that you were unable to work for a particular priest (and say no more) YOU will not be regarded negatively. Fair or not - the negative conclusions will fall on the priest.</p>
<p>Since it is now after the noon hour here in Texas (and I hope it goes as well as it can for you, OP) , here’s a link to an old article about some of the issues raised with a state by state analysis. You can be sure that the law has changed in some states, but this may provide a starting point for those faced with similar situations. It may be of some limited utility to somebody if used solely as a starting point to find up-to-date research in their specific state. <a href=“http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2001/01/art1full.pdf[/url]”>http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2001/01/art1full.pdf</a></p>