The title of this thread pretty much says it all. But I would be behind this 100%. Several threads allude to student comments of this sort. The comments don’t help the students in question, and they hurt others. (Plus, I went to a university that ranks below X.)
While we’re at it, let’s put an end to threads where people discuss taking expensive vacations or buying expensive cars, clothes, and shoes. Because some of us can’t afford them.
/sarcasm
How do you plan to achieve this?
Well, it’s a bit harder because it is the students and not the parents (for the most part). But I think there was actually some traction on my suggestion to stop calling students “robots,” “clones,” and “machines.” Didn’t really eliminate it, of course, but I do think those usages have really dropped off. Maybe gentle comments in the Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, and MIT forums would cut it down substantially?
Oh, Consolation, I love the expensive vacation threads! They tell me where I should go next. /also sarcasm
My theory is that most of the people who post that sort of comment are thoughtful and did not intend to hurt anyone else–it was just a spur of the moment reaction. I don’t intend to dump a load of metaphorical bricks on anyone.
Maybe schools’ free T shirts should start saying:
“I applied to 15 schools and all I got was this lousy Cornell T-shirt!”
It is incredible how little self awareness ppl have tho. Whether it is bemoaning the misfortune of only getting admitted to a college, or complaining bc they make $200k and don’t have $ for college.
Listen to yourself saying it and try to hear it how others will…(unfortunately some ppl never learn that skill).
I think some kids will feel “I only got into X, Y, or Z” at first, especially if they have friends who were accepted at the schools that rejected them, but that they will get over it with time. Meanwhile, I don’t think it does any harm for them to have a safe place to express it. (And it might help them if adults who not invested in them on a personal life also praise the places they DID get in.)
Definitely! I would love to see another kid post…“wow, I would love to have gotten into x”. Gives some perspective.
I don’t intend to invalidate the feeling of only X–I understand it–I just think it would be better to leave it unexpressed on CC.
I also don’t like “we had to settle for instate flagship”.
Because, of course, it’s only students who apply to these colleges that do it, right? (Yes, that’s sarcasm).
Why not ban kids from posting they only got into the local public directional; after all, aren’t there kids who “only” got into or can only afford to go to community college who would be thrilled to go to Southern Connecticut State or Eastern Michigan or SUNY Cobleskill? Why don’t their feelings matter?
Who draws the line? Is it okay to say I’m disappointed that I didn’t get into UConn and I’m going to Southern Connecticut State? Okay to say I wanted to go to UMass-Amherst and I’m disappointed I’m going to UMass-Boston instead? Is that really better than saying I really wanted to go to CMU for computer science but I’m going to Cornell instead?
I mean, many teenagers aren’t terribly self-aware (and those who are actually would have a better chance at reach schools). It’s the adults who I have less understanding for.
I’m amazed. It actually took six posts before this thread started talking about my alma mater – Cornell.
You know, out in the real world, there are 250,000 living Cornell alumni, and we’re not ashamed of where we went to college. Really. And neither are our employers. Only on CC do you find people who think of Cornell as an inferior school.
I apologize. I didn’t mean to insult Cornell.
The only reason I mentioned Cornell is because the thread that prompted this one involves a young man who got into Cornell and was waitlisted at 6 other colleges and asked how he could get off the wait lists for the others. His question angered a lot of people and provoked some nasty comments along the lines of “oh, we all feel so sorry for you because you have to go to Cornell”–but in more vile words. An adult poster was upset by the nasty posts and started a thread in the Parent Cafe entitled something like “Stop the Shaming” which ended up being shut down.The moderators deleted some of the nastiest comments.
So, I used Cornell and CMU because that’s the post that started this and prompted QMP’s remark.
I assume that’s why @HRSMom used Cornell too. She was describing the same post by the same young man.
jonri, my intention was not to draw any lines on where “only got into X” was okay–I don’t think it’s okay for any college. I suggested checking out the HYPSM fora, because I think that is where the usage is most likely to occur. These applicants, and those applying to a fairly limited set of other colleges (maybe 25-50 ish), are the most likely to have sacrificed time with friends and sleep in pursuit of college admissions, which is the situation that underlies the “only” complaint, in my opinion. Consolation evidently thought my suggestion was wildly impractical. By all means, if anyone wants to suggest some other usage to posters who post that they “only” got into Southern Illinois at Carbondale, I am happy for them to do that . . . and in any variation.
That’s kind of a sugar coated version of the student’s posts. But it’s up to the adults to keep their cool and try to advise the student in a calm, rational manner.
We should also ban the term “the lesser Ivies”. I cringe when kids use that in their chance me posts.
^ Oh man. There’s someone on CC who seems intent on creating a category just below HYPSM and above the rest of the Ivy/equivalents and is trying to convince people that CCCP is a real thing.
I guess 20-year-olds gotta 20-year-old.
Wow!
So the Soviet Union has not only been revived, it now has universities which are part of the middle echelon between HYPSM and the rest of the Ivy/equivalents. Ducks 
Cornell, CMU, ?, ? Did Brown and Dartmouth not make the cut? lol!