The thing that perhaps shocks me the most about his story is that he writes it like the financial crisis of 2008-2009 never happened. Most people had to make some serious lifestyle changes at that point. He would have been in his late 50’s then and I’m just amazed that he wouldn’t have looked around at that point and noticed that he was going to be in serious trouble in the not too distant future. I was on a path pretty similar to him prior to 2008. As a 30 something successful guy, I thought the good times were going to last forever and lived that way. A 40% hit to my income changed everything overnight. He was in NY and amazingly didn’t seem to notice the world crashing around him. My wife and kids were in the dark about most of our finances prior to the crash but I made sure everyone knew what was going on after that. We cut every imaginable expense and embraced a real bunker mentality to get through. Now that we’re doing well again, we still have that mentality, and never stop looking for ways limit our liabilities. My daughter means the world to me but she knows there is no way I would raid my retirement for a wedding.
My 2007 30something self would have felt really bad for him. My 40something self in 2016 thinks he is an idiot.
@busdriver11, you remind me of Gabler. Expensive house. You spent a lot on your kids educations. You didn’t save much for years. You did have serious issues that he did not have.
If your union was crushed like many other unions who knows.
Gabler works 7 days a week. Morning to night. I think he is trying to get his finances in order.
It’s okay @MidwestDad3 - I still like you! And we don’t have to agree on everything…
I think when we read stuff like this, we bring our own background and experiences with us that color our perceptions, whether we like it or not. My own father appeared, on the outside, to be a successful health care professional. He probably seemed wealthy to our neighbors. He is now essentially penniless, living in a memory care unit that my siblings and I pay for. Do I wish he had handled money better? Of course. Do I resent paying for his care? Absolutely not.
I used to have a fabulous job in a career that barely exists in this country any more (pharmaceutical researcher.) My coworkers and I lost our jobs overnight. I saw a lot of highly-educated, really smart people do some stupid things with their money. Many chased jobs around the country that eventually fizzled out. Many went broke, and many took a really long time to change their standard of living.
I would say most of my old colleagues are now making a third of the salary that we once made. I know many PhDs who have yet to find a full-time job, ten years after the downsizing. Personally, I work two jobs now (three if you count the tutoring) and I earn about a third of what I used to, 15 years ago.
I’m one of those people who did modify their standard of living, but I can certainly understand those who are resistant to change. Human nature is crazy. A lot of us hurt in a lot of different ways.
Anyway, that’s my back story. Like @dstark said, it’s not always binary.
The thing is it wasn’t just once for Gabler to take a long time to adjust to new reality. I think we all understand that it can be hard. He did it again and again and in fact he is still not changing. Instead he comes to the public with a sob story how he emptied out his 401k to pay for the wedding how he doesn’t have $400 if his life depends on it and how all this is someone else’s fault. BTW he said wedding cost only a few thousand although he sobbed that he had to empty his 401k to pay for the wedding. Did he have only a few thousand in his 401k at age 66? If so, emptying 401k doesn’t make much of a sob story. There wasn’t much to empty anyway. I think he is playing everyone.
His kids didn’t qualify for FA and he didn’t have the money to pay for them so his parents did. 4 years of Stanford and another 4 at Emory would add up to roughly a half million dollars. I’d call anyone with a half million in accessible extra funds wealthy.
Interesting issue we’re circling here-how do we define economic class-by income or by assets? How would we classify these three people?
A. has an income of $80,000 but through frugality, wise investments and some random luck has amassed a substantial 401K and liquid savings of $3,000,000.
B. has an income of $800,000 but blows it all on expensive clothes, cars, wines, and vacations and has nothing put aside in savings.
C. has an income of $800,000 but because of his job needs to live in a very high COL area. Works in an industry where he’ll be pushed out by 60 and Is fully supporting two elderly parents in nursing care and sending 3 kids through college. Has a modest 401K but no liquid savings.
330 - I have to point out that several of those things did happened to the author. Job loss and real estate fiasco (selling his co-op at a huge loss). And this:
Tax rich, real income poor. Just an example: $250k earned in one year and $0 for the next four is less than $50k a year for five years (not taking into account time value of money).
A is The Millionaire Next Door. B and C are the opposite. (In C, it is hard to believe that the circumstances listed plus taxes would consume anything close to $800,000 per year to leave little or nothing left to save for one’s own retirement or other needs.)
@BunsenBurner What job loss? He quit his TV job back in the 80’s.(he is quoted as saying that he was “too smart” for the job.) And he encouraged his wife to quit her job as well to raise the kids as a stay at home mom in the Hamptons. He is a freelance writer.
I started that original story days ago and never finished it. I was a little sympathetic up to the point I read. Yesterday, I heard Gabler on On Point. My sympathy mostly waned. He’s not the best poster boy for the cause. I think he made some good points, but few of them seemed to really apply to him. He seemed clueless about the choices he made (or didn’t make) that got him in this situation. I don’t care that you only drained your 401K of four figures to pay for the wedding – that’s four figures you should not have spent to pay for the wedding.
Two parts with which I agreed – the fact that his large advances hurt him in years when he applied for FA for the girls. And, as a former journalist, I get what he said about pieces he’s writing earn him exactly what he was paid 15 or 20 years ago, or sometimes less. That’s, in part, why I am a former journalist.
We have had many lean years that we’re just coming out of (teacher dh and several years for me as a SAHM), but some of that’s been our choice so I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me. That, to me, feels like the difference. Gabler needs to own his choices.
Also, I’m curious where the girls went to college. Do we know?
"I lost my television job because, I was told, I wasn’t frivolous enough for the medium, which was probably true. (Or at least I felt better thinking it was true.) "
