Could you grade this essay asap ?

<p>Can success be disastrous ?</p>

<p>Success can certainly be disastrous . When people aim for a goal without considering why they actually want it or what would follow the achievement of their goal , they are certain to feel deeply confused and lost when they finally achieve what they aim for . Another factor to be considered is the sacrifice involved in achieving a victory . The achievement is really successful only if what one had to give up was worth the victory . This is seen in the examples of the movie ‘Black Swan’ and in the partition of India .
In The Black Swan, Nina is a ballet dancer who had been working hard for many years in a company .
The stress associated with with the painful form of art , as well as her aspirations for the leading role in the company’s portrayal of ‘Swan Lake’ put a lot of strain on her . The part of the Swan queen required two characters - the white swan and he evil twin , the black swan . Nina, who worked many long hours for years on the perfect postures ,played the white swan beautifully , but her portrayal of the dark swan , which required a more casual and nonchalant movement was not good enough . This frustrated her to almost the point of insanity and this subsided only when she managed to steal the part by seducing her instructor . However , her goal was the perfect performance ,and her determination was so great and tasking that she began to lose her grip on reality. She succumbs to delusions,paranoia and hallucinations,until by the end of her final performance on stage she was completely lost to her mental disease . Here,Nina compromised her integrity,her peace of mind and relationships with her friends and family,all for the perfect performance .
Another example of the sacrifices involved in achieving a goal is in the Indian struggle for independence. The struggle against the British managed to create, instead of unity,a great discord among the people of different religions by 1940 . This was so much that after liberation , India was split into four different countries on the basis of religion, countries that have had tension with India ever since independence .
Thus ,from the examples of Nina in ‘The Black Swan’ and the partition of India during independence,it is clear that success is a contextual thing , and depends on one’s perspective . True success is not in achieving a goal ,but in finding self satisfaction and people to cherish the small victories with .</p>

<p>The question “Can success be disastrous” not “Can the struggle for success be disastrous”, which both of your examples support.
Overall, 6/12 and not less, because the first example was well-written and enjoying to read. 6/12 and not more, because you didn’t answer the question, and your second example is underdeveloped.</p>