<p>Its hard to predict if you will have a healthy child.
As I mentioned, I had forced bedrest and still delivered ( by c-section) 10 weeks early. ( because of babys health, not moms). Baby was in the hospital NICU for 8 weeks.
We were lucky in that we had a regional level three nursery, but many families do not and housing & transportation to be near their child would be an additional expense.</p>
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<p>And just because your child is healthy at FIRST does not mean s/he will remain that way. Mental illness typically strikes without warning, just when the late adolescent / young adult should be becoming self-reliant. Treatment is incredibly expensive. Thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. A lot of good psychiatrists in our area do not take insurance. For awhile, two years ago, we were paying hundreds of dollars a week for our two sons - just to see their doctor! We could handle that until the economy went south. 2013 almost put us over the edge, but we were fortunate that my parents could help us out. Now our older son has been approved for MaineCare, which pays all of his medical bills. It’s a blessing.</p>
<p>Good point.
Our youngest was term, but she also had to be in the NICU, because she aspirated meconium. She also needed care that we couldn’t afford, because treatment for learning disabilities is considered " educational" and so not covered by insurance.
We weren’t able to get appropriate help for her and had to make do with weekly tutoring, which was still difficult to find & pay for.
Yes, theoretically she should have be eligible for help at school, & she did have an IEP, but our district is notorious for not serving students with disabilities. Her resource time was a study hall watching the teacher help other students.
She also saw a psychiatrist who didnt take insurance.
We had to borrow money to pay these bills.</p>
<p>My parents are ALMOST done paying off the bill for the week long psych stay my sister had six years ago. I remember a time when we were kids, my dad got laid off and my Busia dropped off a package of hot dogs every week for us all to eat for dinner-- every day for months and months, it took six months for him to find another job. My mom worked, but she made like a quarter of what my dad was making. We never lived extravagantly when I was growing up, but we were normally well off enough so that was really an experience for everybody. </p>
<p>It’s really a skill, I think, to hit a financial catastrophe and know how to dig back out again. We had a bit of a crisis ourselves about six months ago that was an introductory course to that… I imagine it’s a skill a lot of people just don’t have. Ours was a source of major stress that about brought me to the brink, but once we worked out of it I was almost glad it happened so we could learn how to deal with it. Everyone always talks about saving and living below your means, but sometimes something can happen that just blows you out of the water and you have to know how to hit rock bottom and get back up. </p>
<p>We had no idea that I, S and ad would have chronic health issues that would take such a toll on our health and pocketbooks over the year. It does indeed make you more resilient, but is tough on everyone at the time. We spent a considerable sum seeing docs out of state (including travel). It was what we needed to do. </p>
<p>The private school was also what we needed to do for our kids and have no regrets. They are happy and grateful and made lifelong friendships at their price HS that are much more enduring than any friendships prior or since. They were also willing to work with us (somewhat) on our kids’ health issues, which was also crucial. </p>
<p>A support network is crucial, it really does take a village.
I expected ( naively) as it turned out that we would have extended family to help fill in the gaps.
H went for almost two years between jobs with benefits and that does not include times when the union was on strike ( which was every 3-4 yrs).
But without a union job we wouldn’t have been able to buy a house.</p>
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<p>I’m just relaying a commonplace attitude which I also found to be quite bewildering when I first noticed and heard it from my Hawaii relatives and their upper-middle class neighbors. </p>
<p>Hawaiian public K-12 isn’t regarded very well by many middle and upper-class families due to a historical lack of prioritization and support for public education among the local business and political elite which, in turn, caused perceptions Hawaii’s public K-12 aren’t up to snuff academically among such families. </p>
<p>Not too surprising considering those local elites historically tended to send their kids to local/mainland private schools for K-12 historically and Hawaii has one of the highest rates of private K-12 attendance compared to other states in the union. </p>
<p>It’s an attitude not too far removed from what I’ve heard from Mississippi relatives was a commonplace attitude among their upper-middle class neighbors. Only difference was those then new to Mississippi relatives found the local private schools the neighbors were happy to send their kids to were just as bad/worse academically than the local public schools…hence the need to send one kid to a NE BS and another to an academically reputable private Catholic school. </p>
<p>When I was in college – no way I could get my hands on $250. Neither could my parents. DH took out a little extra in student loans so that he’d have a cushion in case of emergency, because he couldn’t count on his parents for $$ and they had a history of coming to him looking for $$. This way, he could use his work earnings to deal with an emergency but still have enough to pay for books and living expenses (which were legit uses of loans).</p>
<p>Yup, there are plenty of lousy private schools around too. Just because some poor zshlub pays for a private school tuition does not guarantee their little snowflake will get a better education.</p>
<p>Which of course has nothing to do with the topic at hand-- about one’s ability to access 2K if in need. And all those cousins and their rich neighbors who attended private schools might consider 2K pocket change, so again, not relevant to this discussion.</p>
<p>As many have said here, there can be any of a number of unpredictable situations ( personal health issues, those of children or parents/grandparents, accidents, fires, job loss, litigation, divorce, you name it, that can wreak financial havoc with an individual or family. </p>
<p>I am going to start counting right now. That is number 1.</p>
<p>Both my college grads could come up with 2000. My S just had the rude awakening of a large tax payment along with the need for a new radiator in the same week. It hurt to take the money from savings but he was lucky he had it. He regularly saves each month. He has learned the value of bringing his lunch.
Oldest isn’t saving monthly right now due to high cost of living location but does contribute to her 401k. She built up a decent savings account over the years and is a good saver. She knows that while her savings is a decent amount it would go quick if she was out of work or needed a new car.
Both of them are cautious about their spending. My oldest was just saying last night how she doesn’t know how so many of her colleagues can just fly out of town for a three day vacation.
My youngest is another story. She spends every penny she earns as fast as she earns it. She could not come up with $200 unless she dipped into some gifted money. Since she is still a student I hope she learns some money skills by the time she graduates.
Due to the nature of life we have always modeled responsible spending. You don’t need the most expensive car or clothes. Pay cash for cars. Don’t put anything on your credit card you can’t afford to pay off each month. Just because you think you can afford it doesn’t mean you need to buy it. But we also have modeled that you should enjoy life and it is okay to spend money on yourself as long as you can afford it.</p>
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<p>Actually, it does because if one’s has some understanding of the public K-12 education in Hawaii, a Hawaii-based parent sending his/her kids to private school is an understandable expense if getting the best education for one’s kids and good outcomes is a concern. </p>
<p>All your snappy responses tells me is that you’re not familiar with how many constraints Hawaii’s public K-12 education has had because of the long historical neglect by the state’s political and business elite whereas their best private schools are comparable to some of the best ones in the NE. </p>
<p>Some regions/states’ public K-12 systems are better than others and parents who need more than those local systems can provide do need to plan accordingly. </p>
<p>This thread is about one’s ability to get one’s hands on 2k.- now. Sure, the poor kid who attends the wrong playgroup may get shut out from the "right " preschool and the “right” kindergarten, cant get into the top private school to get the best education, get s shut out from the right fit primo college, pays too much money to attend a third tier private college where they double major in ancient civilizations and womens studies so they can maybe get a job flipping burgers at McDonalds, with oodles of loans to pay and…, wait for it… cant get their hands on $2k. Nor could their parents come up with the 2K to put them in the “right” preschool. Oh the shame. Pick any state. Public education can stink in places in all 50. Rambling on about the history of the educational system in Hawaii is much ado about nothing. At least it wasnt accompanied by a you tube link, thank you.</p>
<p>Now back to topic (which is NOT about Hawaii), there are many poor and poorly educated people throughout this nation. Public education should include teaching financial management and budgeting. People from many walks of life can end up in a financial mess, and conversely there are those who should be applauded for their ability to save and spend wisely (barring some catastrophe) and provide comfortably for themselves and their family. </p>
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<p>Yes, but it has meandered like many threads do in discussing related issues such as expenses in raising children…including educational costs from K-12 and college. </p>
<p>I made my post in reply to Himom’s post about her experiences in sending her kids to private school to say it’s understandable in her situation considering the state of Hawaii’s public K-12 system and its history. </p>
<p>This is one way conversations flow organically. Please stop trying to dictate what others are allowed to post. Especially if it is germane to the post of another and the larger rather than literal topic. </p>
<p>^^and also off topic. </p>
<p>Besides-- correction- : its 2-0. </p>
<p>B-) </p>
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<p>You’re assuming teaching this will help. Maybe with some, but the genuine spendthrifts will likely ignore it and end up learning their lesson the hard way. One can lead a horse to water and all that…</p>
<p>Also, while some folks get off being moralistic scolds about “financial responsibility” and use that as a cudgel indiscriminately against those who are struggling financially, it’s oversimplistic and fails to account for the particular lives or situations they may have faced…especially if they are unforeseeable such as unexpected medical expenses or a long recession before it occurs. </p>
<p>It’s especially grating to me considering most people I know who cannot get access to $2000 aren’t likely to be helped by scolding lectures about “fiscal responsibility/budgeting” considering they’re already squeezed the last drop of blood from an unyielding stone. </p>
<p>Not only should financial management skills be taught in schools (public AND private), basic study skills should too. These are things people seem to be expected to learn by osmosis or experience.</p>
<p>No one is overlooking personal life situations. Its been mentioned repeatedly, if one reads the posts, over and over here. But people DO need to be taught basic financial management skills. Its a notable contribution to the problem.</p>
<p>Oh, and a quick search of this discussion indicates that the only poster to use the term “fiscal responsibility” is… you. And the constant pejoratives do not help the discussion either.</p>
<p>*typo</p>
<p>I had a class once that went over how to write a check, how to open and maintain a savings account, how to budget, etc-- but it was in 7th grade and none of us had any real money to practice this with or real world experience to apply until probably 10 years later when we’d forgotten everything. There was a study skills elective too but it wasn’t a very good course. I’m not sure how well you can teach study skills other than to introduce a variety of different methods and hope the student takes the initiative to test them and see what sticks… and if they take that initiative they will probably figure out how they study best on their own, imo. </p>
<p>We had an assignment in that class where we were assigned a partner and a salary and the teacher had print outs for real apartments and utility bills and we had to basically put together a life fitting within our budget. If you picked the McMansion and you had a teacher’s salary, you probably didn’t have much money for anything else-- and so on. My partner refused to participate and picked all the best stuff and said he’d just divorce me and marry someone richer if we couldn’t afford it-- I wonder how he turned out? 
I’ve posted about this before and the response was that it was a dumb assignment, but I think it could have been useful as a HS junior or senior making student loan decisions, personally. But maybe it’s just me who would have benefited from that.</p>
<p>Its reassuring to hear that some schools are offering basic money management, but I agree, ema, 7th grade, when kids should hopefully have a savings account but wouldnt have a checking account seems a bit premature. Maybe an intro to economics should have a life skills component.</p>
<p>ANd Working with kids with learning differences, you’d be surprised (well, no you wouldnt) the # the degree to which the absence of functional organization and study skills is a contributory factor. There are several good tools for assessing and teaching learning, note-taking and study strategies, organization/time management, etc.</p>