<p>Just because something is in the media doesn’t mean everybody at work knows. How many on this thread have been in the situation of their kids being arrested for dealing drugs?</p>
<p>DocT, Yes, it does mean everyone knows or at least virtually everyone. You yourself mentioned office gossip.</p>
<p>I’ve not had a chid arrested for dealing drugs but I have had familiy members arrested, including one who wound up on 20/20. The people who said or wrote things like, “We’re sorry your family is going through such a tough time. We are here to support you anyway we can” are still remembered very fondly.</p>
<p>I’ve also had family and friends whose children have been arrested for deal drugs and far, far worse. I could have pretended that I didn’t know but I didn’t chose that and I don’t regret it.</p>
<p>I’m not going into any details here - however I preferred being the one to discuss it and I certainly would never discuss it with anybody who didn’t have direct experience with their kid involved in: manufacturing drugs, dealing drugs, being a drug addict, and being arrested. I should also point out there is a big difference between having your child arrested and another family member.</p>
<p>DocT, I’m going into details either but, as I said, I would write the note. Which in no way requires the co-worker to discuss it with me.</p>
<p>People live through their spouses, parents, children and other family members being arrested. And sometimes those people are arrested for things that make a drug related charge of any kind seem very minor. Not that the experience is not traumatic for all involved but life provides perspective and compassion that can be shared with others in very discrete ways.</p>
<p>I would do either the note or the face to face “how are you doing?” depending on the degree to which I knew the person at work and understood the personality. </p>
<p>I worked in an office where people liked to think we were “like family”. Sometimes, the office is nothing more than a really big dysfunctional family, which is truly not helpful during times of crisis. </p>
<p>I believe some sort of outreach to this co-worker is appropriate, but the OP knows this person best and whether a note or a non-confrontational word or two would be the best, only the OP knows. I would also only reach out if I were truly willing to offer more support if it is requested.</p>