You will never regret going, but how will you feel knowing now you could have and didn’t?
DO IT!!!
At the end of life, most people regret the things they did NOT do, but rarely regret something that they have done. DO IT.
Yes, I am joining in the unanimous opinion. As the old Mastercard commercial would say, “Traveling a distance to be at son’s senior year performance … PRICELESS!” One lesson I learned from my mother, now deceased, is that she never regretted things she HAD done, just things she had NOT done. This will be a forever treasured memory. Make sure you get some pics!
Of course you should do it! We flew 5K miles round trip many times just to see our son in a play… Last time I flew across the country just to see him for dinner! So worth it, and there’s nothing like seeing your kiddo perform.
However, a couple of things. I don’t think I would surprise him. He might have big plans after the performance and barely get to see you. If the performance is for 2-3 nights, maybe one night would be better than another. We always had instructiions, come this day, not that day. You don’t want to be in the situation of,“Mom, I really want to see you, but tonight is the big cast party”. But if it’s that important to surprise him, probably talking to his partner might be good enough.
Another thing, on long flights like that, wear compression socks, walk around a lot, start taking baby aspirin five days prior (if your stomach can tolerate it). Proactively avoid deep vein thrombosis and you’ll be fine.
I say go! I might stay a few extra days and vacation even if he can’t join you for any of that part… But yes! I would let him know, though.
I agree with intparent about adding some extra days, even if it’s just one. You don’t want to be overly exhausted with all that flight time.
Just wanted to chime in with my own support for going. Also wanted to add that university-level theater productions can be quite good. I went to a few while in school and they were as good in terms of quality of acting as any professional production I’ve seen since. It’s not at all on the level of seeing a high-school production. Definitely not to be missed if this is OP’s last chance to see her S in action.
I get it. When I dropped ds1 and ds2 off I never went back to campus, but I did go to one event each their senior years. For ds1, it was flying to Ohio to see his team compete in a national competition. I was so glad I went. And for ds2, it was flying to Philly to see his a cappella group compete in ICCA regionals. I was so happy that I splurged and did it. Unforgettable memories. Just Do It!
Thanks for your thread - reminds me that I need to see when D’s jazz band concert is. It means driving a round-trip distance of 1000 miles, but it’s worth it. She’s been in jazz bands since 6th grade, but this is the very first semester she’s been the only pianist, so she gets to play every piece! She told me it’s no big deal, but I’m going.
Another vote for “Go.” The distance was much less, but I decided to make the drive to and from my younger daughter’s college (4.5 hours each way; I’d never done it alone) for her comps presentation, about three weeks before her graduation. I’m so glad I did so!
Go for it and enjoy every moment!
There is not one reason for you not to go. You (and your son) will always remember it. Enjoy!
We flew in to watch the movie D helped in as artistic director and she was never on screen. I think she was very touched she flew in and we were thrilled to see something she helped create.
Tangential thought. These opportunities can be fleeting. We are flying across country in a few weeks for the weekend (Sat- Mon) to accompany some family in a half marathon and I get to babysit the grand baby! Will be there very briefly. Long flights. Oh well. And currently we are heading back from visiting friends for the weekend. Drove 8 hrs Friday and doing the same to return now (Sunday). Only will be stopping on the way home to see a friend whose husband died unexpectedly last summer, and in time to make the funeral of another friend tomorrow morning. Life is too short to not take advantage of these opportunities when they arise. I might not have thought this way a few years ago. My mind has changed.
Definitely go see your son’s show, but stay in the area for 2 weeks until the graduation.
@Njres - if only that were possible! Taking just the one day away from my practice is tough enough!
But I’m going to do it! Thanks all of you for helping me to decide. I’m going to see if it’s more expensive to take an extra day, and if not, I’ll stay until Sunday. What the heck!
Just remembered a time, when I was in my 20s, living in upstate NY, and I decided (being from Maryland) that I really wanted crabs. So I hopped into a car (with a friend) and we drove 6 hours, stayed the night, bought a bushel of live crabs and some Natty Bo, and drove them back to Ithaca. Invited everyone over for a crab feast. It was awesome and I cherish that memory 30 years later. (Even got pulled over on the way back -speeding, and trusting my friend’s radar detector too much - and thinking “what if we opent the trunk and some how sic the crabs on the officer?” Of course we didn’t, but we laughed about how it would have somehow worked in a movie!)
So glad you made the decision, @Sweetbeet!
I know it’s a very different occasion but dh said something that really made an impact on me years ago. A high school bf and the brother of a good friend died from cancer when we were in our early 30s. I had a baby at the time and the funeral was 300 miles away. I went back and forth about going and dh said, “You’ll never regret going but, if there’s any chance you’ll regret NOT going, you should go.” I’ve applied that logic to many situations since and it has always worked well. I went and was so glad I did. I reconnected with a number of high school friends and we were able to reminisce and process the loss of our friend together in a way I couldn’t have on my own.
Have a great time!
Do it! But don’t surprise him. And how wonderful that you can enjoy this moment!
Let us know how your trip goes!