<p>is it better to write a creative, semi-formal essay or a dull, formal essay?</p>
<p>ie.
Ques: discuss your views on the advancement of technology and its impact on society…(i just made this up)</p>
<p>essay 1:
Wasn’t technology developed to advance society? Calculators. Computers. Digital watches. All were developed to show-off the grandeur of the American society. Yet, innumerable Americans are languishing away behind these “advancements,” turning into mindless zombies, catering to these inventions.
Technological inventions were originally designed with a honest motives. The calculator–a device common in every household–was invented to assist people in calculating tiresome mathematical equations. This ideal has turned horribly wrong. Third-graders, instead of honing their multiplication skills, are relying on the pocket-sized calculator to perform these simple equations. This is not assistance; this is dependence…</p>
<p>essay 2:
The advancement of technology produces many dire effects on society. With the advancement of technology comes the dependence of society on technology. This dependence is seen in many aspects of the current American society, where individuals have become terrifyingly reliant on calculators, computers, and digital watches.
Calculators, originally created as devices to assist people in calculation tiresome mathematical equations, are now used…</p>
<p>Would either of these essays stand a chance for a 6?</p>
<p>I like the second one more. Theoretically, either one would work, but your first one is exaggerating. I mean, “mindless zombies”? That’s not creative. That’s just an outright exaggeration. Doing the way you did it in essay 1 is playing with fire, because it seems like rather than backing up your claim with significant evidence, you’re just trying to be cute.</p>
<p>If you were truly a good writer, either way would work. You’d be able to be creative but also make your point. You can’t do that yet, as far as I can tell, based on reading essay 1. Stick to essay 2.</p>
<p>Try not to exaggerate. Even in essay 2, “individuals have become terrifyingly reliant on calculators.” Now, I have to agree with you on that, but you don’t have evidence that suggests that the dependence on calculators, etc. is “terrifying.” Only say something if you can prove it.</p>
<p>I think that the first one is much better.</p>
<p>The second one is the conventional method that about 95% of the kids writing the same essay will take.
The first on the otherhand really shows your personality and has a lot more voice.</p>
<p>But the first one exaggerates. springflower, try to master the second type of essay (more formal) first, and then if you want, try to be creative. But creativity isn’t necessary; essays aren’t graded on creativity. They’re graded on how cogently and clearly a point is made. That’s much more important to work on than creativity. Why do you think 95% of the kids write conventional-sounding essays? Again, I still believe that essay 1 is playing with fire. Creativity is like icing on the cake, but first you need to be able to bake a cake before you put the icing on, so to speak.</p>
<p><a href=“%5Burl=http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1059872993-post1.html]#1[/url]”>quote</a> [D]iscuss your views on the advancement of technology and its impact on society.
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<p>The following poem is shared with the hopes that it will inspire reflection on the question and the type of insight/wisdom to strive for in essay writing:</p>
<p>Pocket Watch</p>
<p>Alpine meadows gave life to spring
Oscillating escapements were coaxed to sing</p>
<p>Hand to crown, the soul was wound
Chain attached but still unbound</p>
<p>Tock-Tick, flow-ebb, pouched without fist
friend to Master when set-awrist</p>
<p>Quartz precision, to-and-fro,
Turns once ally into foe</p>