<p>Hey parents -
I just typed out this message once and it didn’t go through, so I’ll try to give a short version here. FYI I’m a semi-regular poster under a new name.</p>
<p>The story: I just graduated from an extremely prestigious college, and am starting the master’s program at one of the best graduate schools of journalism in the country. My parents have generously footed the bill for both of these academic endeavors. My issue is with my mother - she criticizes me at times and it’s really hurtful, and I’m not sure how to respond. Journalism-wise, my interest has always been in magazines, and I’ve done well in that area, getting several great internships and making good connections. Sadly, the entry-level salary at a magazine is about $30 to $35,000 for an editorial assistant. As far as I’ve ever been told, a master’s degree doesn’t help that situation - but that’s not why I decided to get one, and both my parents are well aware of that fact. (If you’re curious, I never studied journalism in college because it wasn’t available, and so will use the master’s to get grounded in all of the basic skills and the deeper issues that I missed out on. Not to mention the amazing alumni network and potential hiring boosts from the school’s well-respected program). Several weeks ago, I mentioned the low starting salaries (not for the first time) and my mother seemed mostly exasperated with me, saying how for years she’d tried to “hint” and “suggest” that I try other avenues where I’d make more money, such as broadcast or public relations, and that she didn’t understand why I never “got it.” She spoke to me more or less as if I was an immature dreamer. I don’t really think I am. I’ve never been averse to exploring other career avenues, and during my master’s program am scheduled to take courses in not only print, but also online media (where the growth and potential for higher starting pay is), and in the spring I plan to take a broadcast course. However, my major is print. </p>
<p>Today, my mother mentioned the possibility of my eventually moving to the broadcast major at school (another “hint”?) and I explained that the structure of the school doesn’t allow for print students to switch to broadcast, only the other way around, but that it’d be possible for me to switch to online media in the spring, which I was considering. At that, she became angry, saying “Just forget it, it’s your life, you do what you want. If you’re determined to be poor, that’s your choice.” How did she extrapolate that not majoring in broadcast means I’m determined to be poor??? And when I told her I thought her response was a bit dramatic and unnecessary given that I was only giving her the facts, she interrupted me to simply say that <em>I</em> was being dramatic. Again, I came away from the conversation having been made to feel stupid and immature. Compounding the problem is the fact that nearly any criticism from my mother has the ability to reduce me to tears, so it’s hard to sound or appear grown-up whether I believe I’m right or not. </p>
<p>So basically I guess my question is, does anyone have advice on how to make my mother see that I’m not just a dumb kid (I’m 22, in case you’re wondering) who doesn’t give any thought to her decisions? Or maybe just advice on how to not let her criticism upset me so much so that a) I maybe don’t feed her image of me by looking childish, or b) so that I’m not sad and insecure about my decisions. </p>
<p>I know I’m young and don’t know everything, but I like to think I do have some sense of judgment and knowledge about the field I’ve chosen to enter (including the fact that starting salaries for broadcast aren’t any better - and are sometimes worse - than those for magazines, whatever my mother may believe). If there are any parents out there who are knowledgeable about the field of journalism, I’d really appreciate your insight too, if there’s some way I’m just not seeing that would allow me to bypass the entry-level poor-house phase.</p>
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