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<p>That’s an even better way of explaining my concept than I could have provided.</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<ol>
<li>Get up and eat breakfast. We are willing to pay for a fourth meal, but not a fifth meal.</li>
<li>Go to class. Otherwise you’ll have to do the reading.</li>
<li>Don’t drink and drive. Don’t even putt.</li>
<li>Don’t put your safety, reputation, or academic standing into the hands of somebody who is drunk, stupid, or unreliable.</li>
</ol>
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<p>Yes. As Woody Allen observed, most of success in life is just showing up.</p>
<p>Discuss how often you expect to hear from him, and how you will communicate. (About once a week works for us.)</p>
<p>Discuss how $ will be handled–will he be using a credit or debit card, cash? Will you be putting $ in an account for him? Who is keeping track of/paying for what, exactly?</p>
<p>Advise him to be assertive, look out for himself. (Don’t let roommates take advantage, but be considerate of roommates.)
Does he have a car? Any rules about how that car can/cannot be used, who is allowed to drive it when/where, etc.?</p>
<p>Profs don’t care about your grades. You have to care about them. Never skip class. Ask for help when needed.</p>
<p>Laundry–does he know how to do it, does he know finer points? (Items that can’t go in the dryer? Dress clothes that need to be drycleaned or ironed?) Can he take care of his stuff without ruining it or losing it (don’t leave laundry unattended. . .)</p>
<p>Gaming (issue for my S)–don’t waste time on this.</p>
<p>BTW, regarding a man being “forced to be a parent against his will”–I disagree. Can a woman force a man to have sex? Does your S know that pregnancy is caused by having sex (not a “failure of birth control”)? By having sex, the man has consented to fatherhood. If he’s unwilling to support a child and have (or risk having) a lifelong co-parenting relationship with a woman, he shouldn’t have sex with her.</p>
<p>Three things I did with both kids that haven’t been mentioned here:</p>
<p>1) I calculated the cost PER CLASS of their tuition. At $60K/year, 30 credit hours/year, cost per lecture is $44 (assuming 3 lectures/week, 15 week semester). I told them they could pay ME for every class they cut. </p>
<p>2) My lecture on birth control was as follows: “If you are embarrassed to go into a store and buy your own condoms, you are not ready to have sex.” (My son’s reply was: “drugstore.com, mom–no one goes to the store anymore.”)</p>
<p>3) Alcohol and sex: do not mix the two. It’s an invitation to a date rape situation.</p>
<p>pour your own drink. don’t leave it unattended.</p>
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<p>This is an even more powerful way of presenting the message than what I had suggested. Thank you, atomom.</p>
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<p>Given how poorly breakfast fits into the schedules of many college students, another option would be to choose a meal plan that does not include breakfast, and give the student the difference between the cost of the two meal plans in cash (to cover the extra food that students tend to eat later in the day to compensate for having missed breakfast). </p>
<p>Unfortunately, though, some colleges do not offer a 2-meals-a-day plan as an option.</p>
<p>I truly appreciate all of this great input!</p>
<p>I have already discussed some of these issues with my son and he’s definitely going to be better informed and prepared as a result of the advice all of you have shared.</p>
<p>Please continue!</p>