Critique 100-word essay

College Essays
1

<p>The prompt can be found [url=<a href=“404”>404]here[/url</a>]. I’ve been accepted, but I’m applying for a full-ride scholarship. I’m not sure quite how competitive it is.</p>

<pre><code>Comprised of one vast paragraph and scattered sparsely with periods, my life is obviously being written by a teenager. The events of my story are inconsequential and lack correlation. My achievements, my drive, my intelligence—without a great writer, they are quite sleep-inducing.
I need an Editor: one who brings joy through exclamation points, one who uses colons to explain and connect, one who breaks up my run-ons and sculpts them into paragraphs. I need the kind of editor who makes drastic revisions just to suit his fancy: one who gets carried away and begins to write his own story.
</code></pre>

2

<p>bumpity bump</p>

3

<p>You may be taking the wrong approach; if you think “The events of my story are inconsequential” you are unlikely to win regardless of how well the essay is written. I’d suggest spending more time coming up with a good theoretical answer, then worrying about writing style, etc. Either way I would be happy to take a look.</p>

4

<p>lolol. I can’t quite tell from your reply whether or not you know this, but you’ve already read it.</p>

5

<p>Woops. Did I say the same thing both times?</p>

6

<p>No. Are you aware that my essay is in the original post?</p>