Critique a short fiction piece, please? (some delicate adult themes)

Parent Cafe
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<p><a href=“http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2223539/1/[/url]”>http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2223539/1/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>This is based of Joan of Arcadia, but you really don’t need to be a fan of the show to understand it (except for knowing that Joan sees God, of course).</p>

<p>I still need to edit for typos and all that, but I’d really appreciate some feedback.</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

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<p>You are a good guy wolf.</p>

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<p>Hang on, I missed the last Joan of Arcadia- did she get molested?!</p>

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<p>No, the story’s not based on anything on the show, just my imagination. That last episode was not good at all, but the next episode (two weeks from now) is written by Barbara Hall. Or did you miss Queen of the Zombies, which was great?</p>

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<p>I saw Queen of the Zombies- I’m glad the one I missed wasn’t very good.</p>