Critique my Common App essay on Buffy?

<p>Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.</p>

<p>In my essay I chose to write about Buffy Summers. Can anyone help me with flow, structure, and general critiques.</p>

<p>By the way, I talk about dealing with my sexuality and depression in the essay so just a fair warning if you don’t want to read about that.</p>

<p>Bump Bump Bump</p>

<p>Bump Bump Bump</p>

<p>I don’t claim to be an expert on essays, but I’ll help if I can.</p>

<p>pm me if you will. thanks.</p>