Critique my CommonApp essay from an adult's perspective?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My essay is slightly humorous, and I want to make sure that the humor holds with adults. Could one of you guys please critique it?</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

2

<p>If you don’t mind saying, what schools will you be sending it to?</p>

3

<p>I’m hoping on ED Cornell, but other than that probably JHU, Case Western, Northwestern, Emory.</p>

4

<p>I can look at it if you’d like. I used to write for a living; my son has completed all his apps!</p>