Critique my resume

<p>Hello parents!
I need help arranging my extracurricular involvements--I think that they are solid, but would like some honest critiques. Let me know if my list is superfluous. I am using this list for scholarship competitions. Also, I have included my extracurricular activities essay from the Common App. Thanks so much!</p>

<ul>
<li>School Affiliations:
Chapel Committee: Responsible for planning all student chapels (10-12)
Spanish Club Vice-President (11)
National Honor Society (11-12)
Big Brothers Peer Mentoring Program (10-12)
Student Body President (12)
Senior Class President (12)
Mock Trial Prosecuting Attorney (9-10, 12)</li>
<li>Sports:
Varsity Basketball: Letter-winner, member of OHSAA state-finalist team (9-12)
Varsity Soccer: Team captain, letter-winner, member of Academic All-American team (10-12)</li>
<li>Community Service:
Preschool Teacher at Trinity Evangelical Free Church (9-12)
Elyria Public Library Levy Campaign Volunteer (11)
Special Olympics Volunteer (11)
Missions work in Reynosa, Mexico (11)
Library Aide (9-12)
Athletics Aide (9-12)</li>
<li>Awards
Principal's Award: Annual award for outstanding high school students, 5-7 given per high school (11)
Timothy Award for Academic Excellence: Annual award for academic accomplishments, 2 given per class (9,10)
Academic Letter: Must meet criteria of grades and extracurricular involvement each year to receive (9,10,11)
Great Debate Champion: Annual debate held at Open Door Christian School between the junior and senior classes (11)
Ohio Buckeye Boys' State Delegate: A week long political program conducted by the American Legion (11)
West Point Invitational Academic Workshop: A week-long introduction to the United States Military Academy (11)
National Honor Society Inductee (11)
United States Senate Youth Program (12): State finalist (1 of 33), winners to be announced in November. Sponsored by William Randolph Hearst Foundation.
National Merit Corporation Commended Scholar (12)
Congressional Service Award (12)
Honorable Mention (1 of 10), Greater Cleveland Business Bureau “Students of Character and Integrity” Competition (12)</li>
<li>Community Activities
Bush-Cheney 2004 Campaign Intern (Summer 2004)
Intern, Judge John R. Musson, Elyria Municipal Court (Summer 2004)
Precinct Leader, Senator George Voinovich (11-12)
Lorain County Young Republicans (11-12)
Trinity Evangelical Free Church Youth Group (9-12)
Leadership Lorain County Active Alumnus (Graduate of 2004 Class)
Lorain County Family YMCA, Board of Trustees</li>
<li>Work Experience
Founder and Webmaster, thepointOL.com (Summer 2001). Mentioned in Time, Consumer Reports, and various other publications. Expanded in 2002 to offer website development and consultation services. </li>
<li>Hobbies/Activities
Semi-professional photography
Roller coaster enthusiast (75+ coasters ridden)
Active runner and golfer
Avid Reader</li>
</ul>

<p>Now for the essay...
My most meaningful extracurricular involvement has been with Leadership Lorain County. It is a community leadership program dedicated to building leaders and communities within Lorain County, Ohio. The program consists of approximately forty adult business and community leaders. In addition, each year, the twenty high schools in Lorain County each choose a few students to interview with Leadership Lorain County, and four are chosen out of this pool to join the adult members in the class. Leadership Lorain County is unique in that it is the only community leadership program in the nation to combine student and adult members. The mission of Leadership Lorain County is to foster lifelong leaders who serve as catalysts for positive change.</p>

<p>Beginning in August of my junior year, the members of my "Leadership Lorain County Class of 2004" and I would meet at our local conference center for breakfast monthly. From there, we would travel to various locations and meet many leaders throughout our community. Each day had a particular theme and purpose. To involve the class in planning these session days, the class was divided into many individual day planning committees. My session day’s theme was Government and Public Service. We had our class members split up into small groups and visit places such as the county prison, juvenile detention home, and morgue. Some members were fortunate enough to go for a "ride-along" with one of our area police departments. The day concluded with a mock trial that involved myself defending a classmate suspected of forgery. This trial took place in front of a municipal court judge and put me up against our county prosecutor. Needless to say, my style did not exactly measure up to that of the prosecutor, but I was able to pull out a victory for my client.</p>

<p>My time in Leadership Lorain County stretched my mind and encouraged me to pursue a career in public service. I am confident that the people I met through the program will support me for years to come. The program opened my eyes to the amazing work being done by our community leaders and has shown me where my talents could best serve my community today and into the future. Through Leadership Lorain County, I have been able to volunteer for a local library levy, become a member of the Lorain County YMCA’s Board of Directors, serve as an intern for a judge, and work on a media campaign to improve local residents' perceptions of our county. I know that Leadership Lorain County has played a vital role in developing not only my leadership skills, but myself as a whole. I feel that I am well on my way to returning their confidence in me by investing my time and skills in our community.</p>