<p>Question: my daughter (though 17 and now not attending high school but taking college classes on a later schedule) has quite a few friends–juniors and seniors–who are still in high school and they frequently show up at our house at 1 am (weekends) or later. They pull up into the driveway and call daughter (who is sleeping!) on her cell phone; she wakes up and stumbles outside and gives them a good verbal lashing about waking her up…then she sends them on their way. These are kids who are good students, IB and AP kids…makes me wonder, what is going on? Many of them have come from concerts, hanging out at 24-hour Starbucks, midnight movies, jamming in a garage band…is this normal? Are the parents aware of it? Am I being old-fashioned?</p>
<p>No you are not being old-fashioned. It amazes me that so many teeens have no curfew and feel that they have the right to call anyone at anytime. Even as high school seniors my children had a midnight curfew on weekends (prom was an exception to that rule). My rationale is nothing good happens after midnight. I know they received phone calls after midnight and I encouraged them to turn their phones off at night. Teens never call our home phone. Two of my daughters eventually learned they sleep better without their phones ringing, while the youngest doesn’t resent having her sleep interrupted.</p>
<p>Nothing new about this either. Had the same thing going on with my son who is now 26. With our daughter, who is just shy of 21, it was the same except in her case, through out high school she worked weekend jobs that often resulted in her coming home at 2 a.m. so we were waiting up for her anyway.</p>
<p>Turn off your daughter’s cell phone when she goes to bed. That way they won’t wake her up.</p>
<p>This is my house, my kid and I really don’t care what anyone else is doing with their kids. If that was happening at my house at 1am, I’d be out there telling the kids to not call at that hour as it wakes everyone up. I’d also tell my kid that if they did call again, I was taking the cel phone overnight on weekends. </p>
<p>Not following someone’s house rules is rude. We have a curfew for our son who is a senior. People need to sleep.</p>
<p>I don’t have a curfew with my high school senior per se, but instead play it by ear. He calls to ask if it’s okay if he stays out later than midnight. He’s always been home by 1 am and more often considerably earlier. They usually want the extra time to finish seeing a DVD. I get the impression that most kids are expected to be home by 12:30 on weekends. The hardest part is when he’s on vacation and we aren’t. I feel like a meanir wanting him home earlier on week nights, but I find it hard to sleep until he’s home.</p>
<p>Okay, so I am not the only one…good to know. I wait up for my daughter and I just don’t function well on 4 or 5 hours of sleep (nor, for that matter, does she). I guess some kids can sleep in 'till after noon, but in our house, we try to maintain a reasonable schedule.</p>
<p>I have no problem with my daughter staying up really really late if she has a (same sex) friend staying over, but with a boyfriend I think midnight is late enough…A couple of times her boyfriend has stayed over too late and fallen asleep and then at 2 a.m. I am waking him up and sending him on a groggy drive home out in the boondocks. Much easier to send him home earlier in the first place. </p>
<p>But about these other parents letting their kids drive around and “do stuff” at all hours of the night–I know for a fact that some parents are completely aware–and indifferent–to their children’s nocturnal activities!</p>
<p>I vote for telling her to just ignore any calls that come after midnight. Turn off the cell phone. It really is rude, especially if she has told them not to do this. </p>
<p>Yup, a curfew has a place. Everyone needs sleep. It’s required for good health.</p>
<p>Neither of our kids were allowed to do social things on weeknights unless it was a school event, like a concert or play, which were rarely weeknight events, and even then, they were usually over by 10:00.
On the weekends, they were expected to be home by midnight. Fortunately my son’s GF had a curfew of 11:30, so we usually saw him at 11:45. 
I love that girl’s dad! (They’re still together, and graduating from their respective colleges in May.)</p>
<p>It’s helpful that our community has a curfew for those under 18. If our kids are sitting at Starbucks or out on the boardwalk at 10:30 a security guard comes around and tells them to leave. Of course they could go to someone’s home, but it still set a tone that was helpful to parents.</p>
<p>We never had a curfew for our kids, who were sick for most of HS. Neither kid had a BF/GF. Neither kid went out on weekdays. Both kids were very conscious of their limited stamina and the serious consequences of overdoing it and how exhausted that would make them. </p>
<p>I would also say NO phone calls or visits (including cells or texts) after 10pm to anyone in the house. That is an important health issue for your D, as she NEEDS to get her sleep. She should also make it clear to her friends that they need to call BEFORE coming to your home & your house closes down at midnight (or whatever time you say) on weekends. It’s important for you & your family to set out rules that work for your family & have your D communicate them to her “friends.”</p>