<p>This is not necessarily true. It may be for some who say it, but it is not for others. </p>
<p>A common phrase for young people in recovery from addiction is, “I do not need to drink to have fun”, and it can mean, “I used to need to drink to have fun, because drinking for me was not like how it is for most people. Therefore, I say this to remind myself of what I need so desperately to remember, but also to let others know that I will still be a fun person to be around”. Alcoholics are “not a glum lot” when they are in recovery, and it is extremely important for their health and happiness that they remind themselves of this constantly.</p>
<p>In fact, there is great entertainment value in being a sober alcoholic in long, long term recovery at a party where there are a lot of “party hardy” types in action. Observing drunk people is a reinforcement to me of why I choose not to drink. </p>
<p>But a lot of the time the comedy of “happy” partying segues into tragedy. If I had a daughter, I’d take her to a “Happy Hour” bar to observe sober the girl(s) who progressively get drunker and drunker throughout the night.</p>
<p>spideygirl may have said, or may have heard the phrase “I don’t need to drink to have fun” at a party. And maybe to her that phrase actually meant “I am an alcoholic and may not be able to control my own consumption of booze, and therefore I must remind myself of that, out loud, in response to having been offered a drink in order to better help me stay on the wagon”. (Paraphrasing her post 61).
But as I said in my earlier post, in my experience that is not what was meant. In my experience I usually heard it from those that thought themselves Christians, and believed any quantity of alcohol was wrong. The people that said it in my past were not intending it as Spideygirl explains. In my experience, those that weren’t purposefully trying to make a drinker feel uncomfortable usually just said “No thanks” or “No thanks, I’m on the wagon” in response to an offer.</p>
<p>07dad sure has a great thought though. Taking someone that isn’t yet of age to see how people can act when they have a few, and compare that to how some act when they’ve had too many can sure demonstrate the problems of over-consumption. It can really teach moderation for those who choose to drink.</p>
<p>I understand that in some smaller cities/towns you can still take you kid down to county jail and get a glimpse of the drunk tank in action. Another idea is to take the kid to a battered woman’s shelter. A conversation with someone who volunteers on a rape crisis hot line also might put some meat on the bones of alcohol and partying.</p>
<p>If you look at any college’s in campus crime stats, sexual assault is there. The correlation of alcohol to the onset of teen sexual activity, sexual assault at college and unplanned pregnancies makes one see the necessity of educating girls on these issues.</p>
<p>Having had a son hospitalized after an alcohol incident, I have been following this thread with interest. In our case, S was 20 yrs old and a junior but was away from campus (about 1000 miles away) at a “leadership conference”. The ultimate irony was that he had been chosen as an instructor/facilitator and mentor to younger students; he was staying at a hotel instead of at the camp/lodge with the younger participants.</p>
<p>Despite HIPPA, we found out about the hospitalization because the hospital emergency room called and left a message on my cell phone overnight. By the time I returned the call the next morning, S had been discharged. When I called him, he was crying and scared and apologetic. So I have to agree with Hanna’s assessment:
We never contemplated punishing him. He was practically an adult. He did have to pay the hospital bill, the ambulance bill and other related charges, since he did not have the presence of mind to present his insurance card. The charges ended up being in excess of $2400.</p>
<p>While he does still drink (and is now past the age of 21), I do believe that his behavior changed after that incident. He does still party, but I also know that he has acted as a designated driver on occasion and he has a learned to respect his limits. Some of that likely came with maturity but much by experience.</p>
<p>So what’s the message? I agree that the OP’s D needs to recognize the implications of her actions. If the lesson isn’t inherent, then I agree that counseling is a great option. We asked our son to visit the mental health professional at his school when he returned to campus, just to ensure that there were no underlying issues that prompted the drinking incident.</p>
<p>You didn’t tell him that he could submit insurance claims after the fact by mail, like in the Dark Ages?</p>
<p>No to the car until she is older and more mature. I couldn’t bear the thought of another family suffering from the death or injury to their loved ones.</p>
<p>S is a senior in HS and does not drink and his close friends do not drink. I have read all the threads about talking to your kids about drinking in college. My advice to him has been to not drink the first 2 weeks of school his freshman year. Watch all the foolishness and the stupidity and then decide how he would like to proceed. He is very aware of the consequences and knows he has to own them. We’ll see how it works out…</p>
<p>I’m confused. You met people who “thought themselves Christians”? Have you also met people who “thought themselves Catholics”, “thought themselves Muslim”, or “thought themselves Jewish”? </p>
<p>Additionally, there’s a whole lot of wine in the Bible, which is at the heart of Christianity. I am a Christian, I do drink alcohol, and I don’t know any Christians who don’t (except for ones who are in recovery, or are Mormon).</p>
<p>spideygirl - I think I understand younghoss. It may be a regional thing, but where I grew up Christians did not drink, smoke, dance, (the list goes on…). So that “place” may be where younghoss is coming from. </p>
<p>The Christians I know now do not think much about drinking, some do, I do, some don’t but it’s not based on “being Christian”.</p>
<p>Way to nit-pick Spidey! I know lots of people who THINK themselves Christian but have no compassion, tolerance or patience for others. To me, those people hardly define what Christian is and is what I assume that Younghoss was reasonably referring to.</p>
<p>And while I will agree with the car issue to a degree, this kid was not driving a car and there is no indication that she was insisting on driving her car. Seems to me that assuming her drinking to excess would assure her killing someone is a little bit of a leap. I assume my son has had some rather rough nights from drinking, but I would never simply assume he would also get behind the wheel of a car.</p>
<p>PS… I believe you have two years to file a claim on an insurance company for medical expenses. I could be wrong, but I know you can file a claim and be paid directly if the bill has already been paid.</p>
<p>Those that guessed what I meant by “thought themselves Christian” were pretty close. Let me expand further on those people I was referring to. Those that used the “I don’t have to drink…” used it to hint the drinker had a problem. otherwise they could merely have said “No thanks” or “I don’t drink”. To Add the whole phrase is to hint the the drinker DOES have to drink to have fun, putting him on the defensive. These particular people sometimes used profanity, sometimes had sex without marriage. That in itself isn’t so shocking for a college age group, but is quite inconsistent with one that won’t drink because they “are a Christian”. I fully believe alcohol is permitted in moderation, but not all do. That part is ok by me. But if a person claims they don’t drink because it is contrary to their Bible, then don’t be having sex without marriage.
I have heard some refer to this as “Cafeteria Christian” meaning they will go down the row of Christian beliefs and pick and choose which parts they will accept, which parts they will ignore. And to all; please remember I am referring to the specific group of people that used the “I don’t have to drink…” to decline a drink, in my experience. It in no way is to be mis-interpreted as a disparagement on all religious people.</p>
<p>I have met quite a number of Protestants that believe there are errors in translation of the King James. Some have told me the “wine” in the Bible actually meant “new wine” which they explained meant grape juice, not yet fermented and therefore not yet alcoholic.
Some have explained to me that the phrase “be good to your slaves” in the Bible was also translated poorly. It really meant be good to your employees, they told me. otherwise, it would mean it was ok to have slaves, if you treated them fairly.
Not saying I agree or disagree with their opinion, just saying it exists, and if Spidey has never come across a Christian that believed they shouldn’t drink because of their religion, then I am surprised. Such people do exist.</p>
<p>Actually, come to think of it, there is someone that I met who is Southern Baptist and said her entire family never drank, so I guess there is one (do Southern Baptists not drink? I have no idea). When she tried it she jumped on a wild ride towards a decade long fight with addiction. She said that she wondered if addiction was actually in her family, but no one knew because no one ever drank to find out. Other than this acquaintance, however, who lives very far away from me, I don’t personally know any Christians who do not drink because of their religion.</p>
<p>I think it’s something they might have borrowed from Muslims. Don’t tell them that though.</p>
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<p>You are going to tell him how to file an insurance claim eventually, right? He’s going to feel really silly if he always pays future hospital bills in cash AND keeps up with his premiums for the rest of his life.</p>
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